Killed In Action
by Hundius
Summary: During a boring patrol Mike and Kate have a fight about their lingering relation. At home they make it right and everything looks promising until the next patrol. A seemingly easy operation turned out bad, really bad and then... Characters : Mike, Kate, Lt Susan Dufour, Maxine. Thanks to TCampo and Sealover for spell checking and to Alimoo for some ideas at the end of the story.
1. Killed In Action Ch 1 Quarrel

**Killed In Action**

**Chapter 1. Quarrel**

**Arafura sea**

Flatfoot wait

The patrol was boring.

Since two weeks they haven't seen one single FFV. It looked like they knew the Hammersley was in the neighbourhood. Today it was an extremely hot and muggy day. It was one of those dog days. No wind and the sun stung. A perfect indication for the huge thunderstorm that was announced later today. Making all the crew grumpy, they had stopped making jokes. Sweaty overalls stuck to bodies.

Kate to suffered from the climate. She entered the bathroom of her cabin and looked in the mirror.

_Damn heat and moisture. Theses bloody overall stick to my body. I'll pull out that stupid T-shirt. The guys wear their overalls on their bare skin, so why shouldn't I? Hopefully it will give me some refreshment._

She pulled out the grey T-shirt and splashed some fresh water on her face.

Then she pulled on the camouflage jacket again.

_Ouch, the material is rougher than I thought. It sands my skin. Now even that again. Why can't everything go smoothly? Grrr. And Mike, why is he ignoring me?_

She sighed.

_I'm irritated by the smallest things. I feel like I want to shout and cry, but I don't know in which sequence._

She left her cabin and took her place again behind the radar screen. She watched the meteo info with a face like the coming storm. Sweat pearls stood on her forehead.

"X, how's the air pressure?" asked Mike.

"710 MB and it still decreasing" she said neutral. Kate gave no sign of a non-verbal communication.

Somewhat later.

"X, everything ok?" Mike said again.

"Yeah, I'm fine", she answered dull.

"I'm just asking because the whole afternoon you have walked around with a face like this coming storm."

"Very funny and yes, I'm fine," she answered again, now somewhat irritated.

A bit later.

"Actually, can I have a word in private … Sir?"

"All right, X, to my cabin then. Dutchy you have the ship," Mike said and he got up from his chair and headed to his cabin, followed by Kate.

_Oops, this isn't a very good sign when she leaves a pause between her words and sir. Hopefully the storm isn' that heavy as the one we are going to have soon._

"Buffer has the ship," Dutchy confirmed.

Mike let Kate enter his cabin and followed. He closed the door and sat down at his desk.

"Well X, what's up?" He said a bit concerned.

"What's up?" "Well, this is exactly what's going on! Sir! I'm just wondering sir if I still have a name. X here, X there, X somewhere else. I just have the feeling that I'm just one of the crew, even less than them, because they often get a chat. But not for me. You avoid me unless strictly necessary. We have a relation, but I don't feel much of it. Nothing to be precise. I'm just wondering if you still feel something for me," she said firmly.

"Yes, but we can't do anything here? The rules won't allow it."

"Well, you apply them more than strictly, isn't it? Even not something off-the-job. I'm your executive officer and that's all? It's like that huh? Keep distance. And when we are in Cairns, then I'm your play to what ? Do I still mean something to you? You were appointed back to the Hammersley and that should have been for a couple of weeks. Now its been a couple of months and nothings happened . I'm wondering what you really love. The ocean or me? And if I can talk to you about the future on a rare occasion then you fob me off, " she continued annoyed.

"X, … uh Kate, I …"

_Shit, I can bite on my tongue !_

"X. Again ! Now it's very clear to me ... Sir ! I need some space," she answered angrily and she turned to leave.

"Kate, I … listen…" The door slammed in front of his nose.

_Ouch, the heavy weather is here quicker than expected. Pfft_

_How can I get out of this again?_

Mike went back to the bridge with the same mood as the coming storm. "Captain has the ship" he said calmly.

"Captain has the ship. Nothing to mention, just only the heat," Dutchy answered.

"Comfort yourself. Later today we will get a solid shower," Mike replied, trying to be a bit funny.

After Kate had slammed the door of Mike's cabin she entered her own cabin and closed the door. She looked aggressively around to find something to throw but she couldn't find anything that would not be broken afterwards. Then she plopped down on her rack.

_Damn, why does he react like that? What am I doing wrong? What have I done wrong? Nothing, I hope? It's like that. He doesn't see me. Not even a kind word, not even a sign. Nevertheless I could be Charge or Swain. Is it maybe me? Is he tired of looking at me and he dares not to say it. I know, he's not a bright light in talking about feelings. Or maybe, I'm not attractive enough?_

Kate covered her face with her hands and sobbed.

After a few minutes she forced her to pull herself back together.

_Come on, Kate, girl, take a deep breath. It will be the weather. A bad day. Go back to the bridge and observe the weather conditions._

Kate left her cabin and went back to the bridge where she took her place again at the radar and the navigation screen. Mike saw that she had red, puffy eyes but he didn't say anything.

A bit later he was looking at her without her noticing it.

_What have I said wrong? I don't know. We're on business. We're professional. Did I screw it up by her now? I can't even talk about it because we're not in the position to do so. Everybody can see or hear us._

She felt he was looking and looked up at him. Instantly he turned his head back to the wind screen.

Afterwards she was also looking at him without him noticing it.

_Did I screw it up with him now? I shouted at him. Was I wrong? Yes, no? But why does he ignore me? Not even a whispered cute word. It's like I'm a complete stranger to him._

But just like she felt it, he felt also knew she was looking at him and he looked at her and she turned automatically her head to the radar screen.

Later that day, the sea had become more rough.

Kate sat in her cabin and Mike got two mugs of coffee and was on his way to her. He knocked on her cabin door.

"Uh, come in." He heard through the door.

He fiddled with the crank of the door to open in and got inside. Her laptop was open and there were files open, but apparently she was side tracked by the events of the afternoon because he saw that she shoved something under her laptop and she wiped tears away with her other hand.

"Uh, Kate, I thought you would like a brew?"

"Yeah, thank you, … sir," she answered.

"Come on, don't be odd now."

"Odd? Who's doing odd," she asked firmly. "Are you so afraid of those rules that you can't even be friendly and be just only businesslike?"

"Yes, but we have to take care?"

"I know that god, but there are always moments that you can pass them? Little things, but that's not even possible. Or are you tired of looking at me and you can't say it?" she snapped at him.

"But no, that's not true," he answered hurtfully.

"Yeah, that's easily said, but is possible, huh. I'm not attractive enough, not sexy enough."

"Don't say that like this. You should know better," he said uneasily.

"Yeah, but you don't let it feel," she said with emphasis.

Meanwhile they heard RO's voice through the loud-speakers. "Captain to the bridge."

"Yes, uh sorry, but I really feel for you." He tried to convince her.

"Hmm, go now, they are waiting for you."

Mike was already halfway through the door.

"Mike?"

He poked his head back in, "Yeah?"

"Thanks anyway for the brew!" she said with a faint smile.

"Pleasure", he replied, also with a faint smile.

He closed the door and she stared blankly to her screen. Finally she took the mug and took a sip. Then she pulled the photo back from under her laptop. It was a photo from them both, taken at the terrace of his parents. Both were in evening dress, ready to go to a show in the city. She turned the photo and read the text she had written on it. 'Once we will be together !'

_When will that be? It's now further away than ever._

Then the words became blurry for her eyes again. She stood up to put the photo back in her locker and she took a tissue.

Mike took the staircase to the bridge.

_Oops, the storm is not over yet. I hope I can convince her. It's not easy to resolve this here._

Dutchy was waiting for him at the bridge.

"Boss, the air pressure has decreased again and the storm increased. I think it would be interesting to change course with these shallow waters in front of us…"

A couple of days later the Hammersley returned to the base in Cairns and the crew had shore leave. Mike and Kate had avoided each other after the storm unless it was necessary for the job. They had looked at each other not knowing how to start to resolve the problem.

Mike stood at the gangway when the crew left the boat. Kate had packed her stuff in a huge sports bag and she too left her cabin. At the gangway they stood together.

"Sir, that's it for this time," she said, while she saluted him.

"Yes X, indeed," he answered her salute.

They didn't move, their eyes locked.

"Do we do something?" Mike asked prudently.

"Tomorrow? As usual?" she answered while she shrugged.

"Ok, I'll be there," he said.

She left and greeted the flag. At the quay she looked back to him and he nodded to her.

_Hmm, the door is not completely closed yet. But she didn't seem very enthusiastic. Anyhow, it's not totally screwed up._

Kate drove as usual straight to her house and entered.

Her habit was that she pulled out her boots in the vestibule. Then she usually walked to her washing machine with her sports bag where she put everything in the machine that belonged together. Normally she undressed herself there and she put her uniform and socks also in it. When she activated the machine, she used to walk in her underwear to the bathroom to take a long shower. Afterwards she went to the supermarket to make purchases for the shore leave, depending from the time they arrived at the base.

Now Kate dropped the bag in the hall and went straight to the living room, poured herself a small glass of Whisky, the one she has for Mike. She put the glass on the table and plopped down at her couch. She sighed and pulled out her boots and socks and sat sprawled dropped at her couch.

She took a few sips and started to talk to herself.

"Damn, I'm tired. What do I have to do? Why doesn't he say a single cute word to me? I love him, but does he? I still hope it is, otherwise I don't know what to do.

Then it would be the second time it should overcome me.

What could be the reason? I'm nice to him.

Would it be the way I'm dressed?

My figure? "

She sighed again.

The whisky did not what she hoped, cheering her up, but it made her gloomy and sad.

"I'm convinced I'm not attractive enough.

Mike what have you done to me?

Am I just the next toy? Just like you did to Maxine, years ago? You can't deny it. Ryan is there.

Damn, Mike, how can I win you for me?"

A lump was forming in her throat.

She swallowed a few times, but then she gave up.

_Who cares ! Nobody can see me here. I can let everything out._

She started crying.

"Oh God, I wished I could talk about this to someone ! I've always been alone and I still am. I'm sick of playing a role. I'm doing that already for whole my life. Playing the strong, fierce officer, cool and straight forward. I want to be myself with Mike, tender, soft, cute, romantic. I wished Nikki was still here, then I could talk about it. She would understand."

She was not aware that a kilometre further someone else was pacing through his living room, also with a glass of whisky in his hand wondering how he could convince her that he loves her.

Kate stayed on her couch for a couple of minutes till she calmed down. She got upright, wiped her tears, picked up her boots and socks and went with the sports bag to the washing machine. She was so far distracted with thinking how to convince Mike that she undressed her completely. All of a sudden she realised it.

"Damn, I've got nothing on now.

Nah, I'm alone, nobody can see me."

And she walked nude to her bathroom.

Here she stood in front of the mirror and looked at herself.

"Hmm, I'm ok." Then she looked at her boobs. "I'm not a Bomber, but he has to be happy with it, nah!"

After a long shower she went to her wardrobe.

"Let's have a look, do I have something attractive for him?"

She shoved things from one side to the other, pulled other items out looked at them, put them back and sometimes she laid them on her bed. Then she held the selection one by one in front of her for the mirror and shook her head.

"Too dull."

"Too classic."

"Too virtuous."

Finally she put everything back in the wardrobe and plopped on her bed and lay down.

"Lieutenant Kate McGregor, you're 35 years old. You're lying in your underwear on your bed, staring at the ceiling, not knowing what to put on to convince your lover. You're as dull as on board. Great! Oh God, what a crazy situation !"

She got upright .

"Right !" she said convinced, "Tomorrow I go shopping, a dress, shoes, some make up. Now I'll see I go to the supermarket to get something fresh otherwise I'll have to dive in my fridge."

She put on a jeans skirt and a T-shit and had a quick look at the mirror in the hall before she left for the supermarket. She looked at her face with red puffy eyes.

Hmm, I'm looking attractive that way. Great! Luckily it's only for the supermarket.


	2. Killed In Action Ch 2 Dinner

**Chapter 2. Dinner**

**Cairns**

A beautiful day.

There was a pleasant bustle in the city centre. People on terraces, others popping in and out of shops, with or without parcels.

Kate was wandering along the shop fronts looking for an outfit. She popped into several shops, tried on many things and finally found her dress. Now she was looking for the appropriate shoes and some make up. Finally she ended her tour on a terrace enjoying a well deserved cup of coffee. The only thing she hoped that she didn't bump into Mike, not that she wouldn't like that, but it would spoil the surprise.

During the late afternoon she was back home with her purchases and food for there dinner. She smiled while she was unpacking the vegetables.

_I'm not going to put on the dress immediately. I'll measure the mood first, but I'll do the make up. Luckily I'm not going to use any onions, otherwise I would look like an aquarelle painting after I finished with them. Just before dinner I will put on the dress._

_Now, first the table. It MUST look good._

_At the end of the evening I'll know for sure. I hope we can move on together, If it's not I know I'll be a mess for a couple of weeks or so, but then I'll know I have to look further._

A couple of hours later Mike rang the door bell.

Kate hurried to the door, a bit nervous about the outcome of the evening. She was barefoot and wearing a white cotton trousers and a blouse.

"Hey Mike, come in," she greeted him in while standing aside while he entered.

"Hi Kate, I brought the usual stuff," he said as he showed a bottle of wine. She closed the door.

He gave her a kiss. "Hey, you used make up! I've never seen that before. You look pretty good."

That gave her a good feeling and she couldn't hide a smile.

"There's a first time for everything huh."

_Hmm, I have a big chance!_

"Nice table! Even with candles," Mike said pleasantly surprised.

"Yeah, why not? Aperitif while I prepare dinner?", she asked him.

"Yeah, nice. Sherry dry?"

"Ok, can you open the wine?"

They talked about everyday life, the crew and the last patrol, but they avoided their last fight.

"Right, finished. I can serve. But f…" she said while she was washing her hands. But he interrupted her.

"Kate, uh … I need … I want …," Mike started awkward.

"Mike, can you give me a second please?", Kate interrupted him too.

"Kate, … I…"

"Just a second, big captain of me," she said and giving him a big smile and as she tapped him gently on the chest. Then she hurried up the staircase to her bedroom.

Upstairs she pulled off her blouse, trousers and her bra and she put the dress over her head. She put her hair up and slipped on the new high heeled blue pumps. Finally she looked at the result in the mirror. It was a thin blue silk dress with nude shoulders, a big cut out at the back and the length was just halfway of the tights.

She giggled. "It's going to work, I know !"

She went slowly down the staircase. The clicking sound of her heels made Mike look up and his mouth dropped open with astonishment. He swallowed.

"Kate, you … you are … gorgeous !", he stammered.

"Well, I thought, a special evening, a special dress."

He bent forward and kissed her passionately.

"Kate, I wanted to tell you something. I wanted to do it before you went upstairs," he said while holding her hands.

She looked at him.

"Last time on board you made me upset after our quarrel. I really thought that you thought I didn't love you anymore. But that's not true. It hasn't and it will not be. And you were right, I've been too professional, I had to give you more attention."

"It's my fault too, I know. We had to. Maybe it was that ugly weather that made me so nasty," she answered him softly.

"So, I hope that I can convince you that I really care for you." He grabbed a small box from his pocket and offered it to her.

She opened the box and pulled out a ring with an emerald.

"Mike…." Kate was startled .

"I've chosen it because it has the same colour as your eyes."

"I don't know what to say. Thank you is sounds so cheap…," she whispered while she slit the ring on her finger.

She looked at him with glassy eyes.

"Do you want me to say…."

"Yes." He nodded.

"Oh, Mike ! Yes! I was afraid you were never going to ask it."

She wrapped her arms around his neck and they kissed each other passionately.

"You made me really happy!"

Then she looked from out of the corner of her eyes to the kitchen.

"Darling, I think we'd better eat otherwise it's going to go cold," she said neutral.

He started laughing.

"What's up?"

"You can be so damn sober and logical."

Kate gave him a warm smile and shrugged.

After dinner they sat on the couch.

"Mike, what now? what do we do about the ship?", she asked.

"From the moment I have the opportunity, I'm back to Navcom and then there will be another commander until you'll get your promotion. I'll drag Maxine's tail once more."

"And our relationship?", Kate sounded a bit concerned.

"Honey, nothing will come between us. I guarantee you that. On board we will be professional, but on shore we'll be together." After he said that he gave her a kiss. She stood up and sat back down on his lap and laid her legs on the couch. He started caressing her back without the obstructive material of a bra.

The next morning Kate woke up first. She noticed that she was lying close to him and she didn't dare to move to as to wake him. She enjoyed the idea of getting married while she fiddled with her ring. It would be so different to get on board now.

The sun poked through the curtains and threw bright lines on all the items in the room. Kate smiled when she saw the mess in the room. Her shoes, the dress, his trousers, shirt, all lay around. They fooled around with each other last night like they never had done before. It was going to be a promising period. Lot's of new perspectives popped up at the horizon.

_Finally I feel happy. Not alone anymore._

_I will be Kate Flynn. Kate Flynn. Hmm, I have to get used to it. _

_Kids? Last time we touched the subject, he wasn't negative about it. _

_Shall we keep one of our houses or are we going to look for a new one?_


	3. Killed In Action Ch 3 A new patrol

**Chapter 3. A new patrol**

Within one hour the Hammersley was going to push off for a new patrol.

Mike stood at the bridge and was looking through the wind screen. He was with his thoughts a few days back.

_The last couple of days were splendid. It was like we were married already. Everything went so smooth. Our walks along the beach, the purchases in the supermarket and even the household. We had to do this earlier. Now I have to see to get off the boat, so that we can proceed. The problem is that we can't keep this situation secret. Sooner or later it will come out. For sure someone will see us together at a supermarket or so._

He didn't noticed that Kate arrived at the bridge as well.

"'morning sir," she said.

"Uh, yes, good morning Kate," he answered.

Charge poked Swain. "The boss is in a good mood. Normally he calls her X, now he said Kate."

"Yeah, indeed, never mind. That's good for us too, not?", Swain answered.

Mike heard what they said.

_Hmm, you see, you walk in the trap quicker then you should think. We have to be very careful. I'll talk about it with Kate._

He looked at her and he could do nothing else then smile when he saw her sunny face.

"X, the patrol is going to the Coral Sea this time. A classic one, nothing special. It's going to be a milk run."

"Aye sir, I'll prepare the maps," she answered.

Before Kate went to the bridge she had entered her cabin and had unpacked her clothes she took the photo of them in evening dress and turned it. She read the text, smiled and took a ball pen and wrote under 'Once we will be together' , 'Just a matter of time!'.

Later on. Kate was busy with administration in the command room when Dutchy entered with a file. He noticed she was humming a song.

"Hey, X, you're very cheerful?" he said and leaned back to the cupboard looking at her.

She looked up. "Yeah, indeed, I feel happy."

"Tell me, what made you happy?" he asked.

"Mike proposed," she answered with a twinkle in her eyes. She pulled out her ring that hung at the same chain as her dog tags to show him.

Dutchy came closer to look at it.

"Kate, that's really great for you. It's a nice one. And what's next?"

"Just wait until Mike got back to Navcom and then we can look further, marriage and so."

"I'm happy for you and I hope it doesn't take too long."

"Yeah, I know, but it gives now more comfort you know."

A few days later, they had boarded an illegal fishing vessel and Kate was making her report in the cabin in the evening.

A knock on the caused her to stop writing.

"Come in."

It was Mike with two mugs.

"I thought that you perhaps wanted a brew?"

"Hmm, that's always welcome. Thanks a lot."

"Yeah I was right about the brew and I wanted to see how you're doing."

"Nice, thank you. The report is almost finished. And you?"

"I sent an email to Maxine in which I expressed my wish to be at Navcom again. But she didn't answer yet. "

Kate nodded.

"If she can't find a commander, she has to promote you, but that's also not possible."

Kate frowned. "Why not?"

"Well, because there's no other XO who is as good as you are," he said with a grin.

"Oh, come on you !" And she slapped him on his upper arm. "And I'm sitting here, listening to that rubbish!"

He looked at her fingers.

"You left your ring at home?"

"Nope." She pulled on the chain with the dog tags to where it was attached. "The security matter, you know. So I'm wearing it here," she said with a smile.

"Cute."

They chatted a bit further and then he left for his cabin after he has slit with his hand over her shoulders.

Kate leaned backwards at her chair and closed her eyes.

_It's so different being here now then weeks, months ago. We're closer. It gives me comfort knowing we are going to build something together and knowing he's just at the other side of the corridor. Finally I can do what I have always dreamed of, building a family!_

A week later there was a call from Navcom at the bridge. Mike took the call.

"Commander Flynn speaking."

"Commander White here, Mike, there is a situation at one of the islands of Vanuatu, namely Espiritu Santo. Rebels are trying to make a putsch or they are busy with a riot. We don't know the exact situation, but the government has asked us to evacuate the Australian civilians. When I see the maps, you are the closest vessel that we have in the area. Go to there and see what you can do to evacuate them."

"Ok, and what about the other nationalities?"

"If there are any and they want to get away and the capacity of the boat allows that, yes, you can take them as well."

"Right Maxine, we will be there tomorrow afternoon. We will see what we can do."

"Ok, fair winds Mike."

"Yeah, bye."

"Ok, X, Duchy, Swain, we have an order, come to the command room," he said to them.

They followed him to the command room where he unfolded a map of the island.

"Right, Navcom has ordered us to sail to Espiritu Santo. Rebels are making a fuss there. What they are busy with is not known yet, but it's that serious that the government has asked us to evacuate the Australian citizens and eventually other nationalities. So tomorrow afternoon we will arrive there and we will moor in the main harbour. We will make contact with the authorities about our intentions and we will send teams to our people to ask if they want to be evacuated. The island is not that big, so I assume we can leave before sunset. Questions?"

"No, I think that's all clear," Kate said.

"Yeah, wear Kevlar, just in case."

The others nodded.

"Ok, we will make the last instructions just before you go on shore. Carry on."

That evening.

Mike has gone to his cabin and Kate did also, but after she finished the administration she went to his cabin and knocked the door.

"Sir, it's me."

"Come in."

He was reading a book and he put it down to look at her. Kate took the half between sitting and leaning at his desk.

"Kate, what's up?"

"Mike, I've been thinking about tomorrow. What do we have to expect?"

He sensed a concern in her voice.

"These regimes are rather unstable. There's lot of corruption too and tribal strives are not far away there. Honestly, I don't have more information. I hope it's not that bad as on Samaru."

"Ok, we will see at the moment it self."

Then she lowered her voice, bent towards him and put her arm around his shoulders.

"Mike, I need you."

"Yeah, honey me too. It's just another two weeks and we're on shore again."

"I know, but I just wanted to say that. Have a good night."

She bent more closer and they gave each other a kiss. Then she left to her own cabin.

Afterwards Mike stared to the closed door like he would see through it, thinking of her, she in her own cabin.

_What would you do now? Administration? Reading one of your spy novels? Taking a shower and then reading your book in your rack?_


	4. Killed In Action Ch 4 Kate?

**Chapter 4. Kate?**

During the afternoon of the next day they approached Santo at Espiritu Santo. Smoke was seen above the port. The Hammersley was slowly approaching. The port was quiet. A few small boats along the quay, but nothing that indicated a normal harbour activity. Mike and Kate stood at the outside bridge and were watching for any hostile movement. Mike turned to Kate.

"Right, prepare the teams. You lead one and Dutchy the other one. Only pistols, no guns. Otherwise it would look too offensive. You have the locations where our people ought to be? And be careful."

"Roger that," she answered, their eyes were locked for a few moments and then she went inside.

When they reached the jetty they saw several rough looking men armed with machetes, rifles and machine guns. The two teams had just arrived on shore when a black Mercedes drove in high speed to the quay. A coloured man in a black suit jumped out and came towards Kate.

"You are not allowed here. We haven't given you any authorisation to moor here," he said irritated to her.

"Sir, we are only here to …"

"Leave our island! ", he interrupted her.

"SIR, we want to evacuate our Australian civilians."

"You do not understand. Go away. There are no Aussies here, and also no Kiwi's."

"Sir, how are you so sure? We have instructions from our government that there are."

"I am sure, and now, go away. You don't have to look for anything here."

Meanwhile a few body guards armed with machine guns stood behind the man in the suit.

"Ok, ok sir, we are leaving." She stepped slightly backwards, still looking at that man.

"Guys, return to the vessel," she ordered.

Kate headed to Mike on the bridge who was looking at her with a questioning glance.

"Sir, we've been chased away. He says there are no Australians here. But I don't believe him."

"Hmm, neither do I. Okay, let's get back to sea."

"Sir, do we give up?", Kate wondered a bit surprised.

"No, not at all. We will go on shore out of the sight of the harbour and we will check some of the villages. "

The Hammersley sailed to another coastline without a port and anchored as close they could. From where they lay, the coastline was a deep blue-green horizontal stripe. No village, no rocks, just forest and a narrow beach.

"Right, X, Dutchy, Swain,2Dads follow me to the command room," Mike ordered.

In the command room he started.

"Listen, the authorities don't like our presence here and they say there are no Australians or other nationalities here. But I don't believe them. We have from the government a list with locations where they ought to be. So we will go with two rhibs to the coast and there we will split into four teams to check out the different locations. Inform or insist that they will come with you."

"And if they don't want to?", Swain asked.

Mike shrugged. "We can't force them, but try to persuade them to come with you. It's advice from the government."

The other nodded.

"Right, X, you are team X-Ray, Dutchy you lead team Bravo, Swain you're Sierra and 2Dads is Delta. X Compose the teams, but I'll keep RO here for the communications and Bomber as a medic.

And I expect you all back before dusk. If the targets are not reached, we will return tomorrow morning."

He marked on the map which villages they had to inspect.

"Roger that," they replied.

"Ok, go for it. X, do you have a second."

The others left the room and Kate stayed. Mike waited until everyone was gone.

"Sir?", Kate asked.

"Kate, be careful. Don't take any risks, will you? I have a strange feeling about this."

"Mike, don't worry, we've done this earlier," she said to comfort him.

"Okay, see you this evening." And he tapped her on her shoulder.

She smiled at him and left the room also.

Both rhibs were launched and rushed to the coast. There they split up.

"Lance with me, George, you with Swain, Bird with Dutchy and Harpie, you go with 2Dads. You know your location? No unnecessary risks, keep a low profile. That are orders from the boss. And keep in touch. Let's go," Kate ordered.

At the bridge Mike was pacing back and forth between the radar and the outside of the bridge to look with his binoculars to the coast where you could see smoke clouds from time to time and faint gun fire.

"Charge, warn me if you see something on the radar. It might be possible that they will chase us away.

And RO any news?"

"No sir, not yet."

"All right. Keep listening," Mike answered.

_Damn why they are not give a feed back? Hmm probably they didn't reach the villages yet. Did I have to go instead of Kate? No, she's experienced enough._

"RO, call them! I want to know how they progress."

"Aye sir.

Charlie-82 to X-Ray, Bravo, Sierra and Delta teams, how's progress?", RO asked.

After a few seconds, it was Kate who responded first."

"X-Ray-82 to Charlie-82. We are advancing slowly on the slope. Nothing special to report," Kate mentioned.

Then a few instances later, the others came in too."

"Delta-82 to Charlie-82. Here 2Dads. Everything smooth here, no bogeys yet."

"Bravo-82 to Charlie-82. We hear gun fire in the distance, target not reached yet," Dutchy said.

"Sierra-82 to Charlie-82. We're still in the bush. There was an explosion in the distance. No hostiles yet," Swain replied.

Mike paced back and forth on the bridge, from time to time sipping from his coffee en watching his wrist watch.

Then there was a first response.

"Delta-82 to Charlie-82?" It was 2Dads' voice.

"Charlie-82 to Delta-82, come in?", Mike answered.

"We entered a village with locals and a French doctor wants to come with us. He said he has been threatened by the rebels."

"Ok, 2Dads, return with him asap. Over."

"Sir, a call from Navcom," RO mentioned to Mike.

"Mike Flynn speaking," he said after he took over the phone from RO.

"Mike, it's Maxine. Bad news. The government warned me that these terrorists are extreme violent. Return to the initial patrol area. Any incident could have serious consequences, even when it's not the fault of one of your men."

"Maxine, I have actually four teams on shore," he answered worried.

"Mike, see that you get them asap back on board."

"Okay, okay. I'll do. I'll keep you in touch. Over."

_Damn, just now. Couldn't she say that a little earlier? All my people are there now. Hopefully they'll use their brains there. I'll call them back right now._

"Sierra-82 to Charlie-82?" He heard Swain in the microphone.

"Charlie-82 to Sierra-82. I'm listening."

"Boss, we reached the farm and we have the farmer and his wife and an employee who will be coming with us. They told us groups of terrorists are in the neighbourhood. "

"Swain, quit the mission and return immediately with these people to the ship. And keep a low profile. The rebels are dangerous."

"Roger Sir."

_That's one. Now the others._

"Charlie-82 to X-Ray, Bravo and Delta teams. Quit the operation. Return to the Hammersley. Watch out for hostiles, they are dangerous," Mike said while he looked at the green shore line if he could look through it.

"Delta-82 to Charlie-82. We're on our way back. Don't worry." 2Dads sounded carefree.

"Bravo-82 to Charlie-82. We're in the village. Everything is abandoned here. It looked like they left it in a hurry. Doors are open, but we can't see people, nor bodies or destructions. We return," said Dutchy as sober as usual.

Mike waited a few minutes.

"Charlie-82 to X-Ray-82. Come in?"

He stared blankly to the coast, internally counting the seconds.

"Charlie-82 to X-Ray-82. X answer me."

Mike was pacing nervous at the bridge.

_Damn! Kate why don't you answer?_

"Charlie-82 to X-Ray-82. X where are you? Return to the Hammersley. That's an order!"

He waited another minute.

"Charlie-82 to X-Ray-82. X answer me," his voice sounded concerned.

_Kate, damn. I should have been there and she here._

"Charlie-82 to Bravo, Delta and Sierra. Did you see X-Ray-82, the X?"

"Delta-82 to Charlie-82. Sir we're back on the beach. X-Ray-82 is not here yet," 2Dads answered.

"Sierra-82 to X-Ray-82. Swain here boss, we reached the beach. No sign of the X and Lance."

"Sir, there's some new black smoke above the island. Not that far from the coast," Bird announced.

Mike lifted his binoculars to look at it.

"Hmm, that's burning petrol."

"Right, Delta-82 and Sierra-82, bring the evacuees to the boat."

Mike sighed. He pinched almost the microphone.

_For God's sake, where is she?_

"Bravo-82 to Charlie-82. We're on the beach now sir. We still hear some gun fire," Dutchy mentioned.

"Dutchy, the X? … And Lance?"

"Negative sir. We will wait."

"Right, do that." Mike was tapping nervously with the microphone in the palm of his other hand.

"Charlie-82 to X-Ray-82. X answer me," Mike tried again.

Silence.

_Kate! Answer me! Goddamn!_

Meanwhile it became dusk.

"Charlie-82 to Bravo-82. Return to the Hammersley." Mike ordered.

"Bravo-82 to Charlie-82, sir and X-Ray-82?"

"Later Dutchy, return to the Hammersley."

"Copy that sir," Dutchy sounded that he wasn't agree with Mike's order.

A few minutes later the Rhib was back at the Hammersley and Dutchy went to the bridge to talk at Mike.

"Sir, permission to return to look for Ka ... the X and Lance."

"No Dutchy," he said brief.

"But sir, we can't leave them there," Dutchy tried to convince Mike.

"Dutchy, I said no."

"Sir, I can handle this and I know men who are capable to follow me. For sure she… they expect us," Dutchy replied fierce.

"Petty Officer Mulholland, I gave you an order. It will be dark when you arrive there and you will be ambushed before you even know because they know their environment better then anyone else. We are now missing two people and I don't want to miss any more people. Understood," Mike said angry.

"Gentlemen, we are all a bit nervous. Let's face the problem tomorrow morning again. The boss has right Dutchy, it's too risky," Charge intervened to avoid worse.

They looked both at Charge and they realised they were working out their personal worries onto each other.

"Dutchy, Tomorrow morning, at dawn, you leave with a team to look for them. Full kevlar and with rifles. Take Swain as well, I want to have a medic there," Mike said.

"Right sir."

"Dutchy you have the ship. I go to the evacuees."

"Buffer has the ship," Dutchy announced.


	5. Killed in Action Ch 5 The dire truth

Chapter 5. The dire truth

Mike stopped at the door entrance of the officers' mess where the evacuees were gathered. He was looking at them and Swain from the door. Swain finished up with them and turned towards Mike.

"Boss, they are ok, but they have to calm down," Swain said to Mike.

"Right, good job Swain."

He then entered the mess and looked at the refugees. They all got something to drink and in the middle of the table stood a plate with sandwiches, untouched.

"Hi, I'm Mike Flynn, the commander of this patrol boat. How was the situation over the last days?"

The doctor was the first to speak. "_Mon Capitaine_, it was very aggressive. The rebels were explicitly looking for blank people. They claim that we exploit their island and we merge our selves in their politics for our own profit. I escaped from the fury because the inhabitants of the village had hidden me."

"Do you know if they killed people?", Mike asked.

"Sorry, I can't say. I stayed in my house or I was hidden."

"I've heard they did," the farmer intervened. "But they didn't pass by us. We were lucky. On the other hand the rumours made our employees afraid for reprisals. They stayed away from us. Hopefully we can return. When do we leave?"

"Yeah, our government will take care of you. Probably tomorrow. We're missing two of our men who were looking for some other people like you."

"God bless them!", the farmer added.

"Right I'll leave you. If there's something I'll hear it."

Mike left gloomily the mess and passed by the galley.

_I can't help it, but I have a bad feeling about this. Those people sounded very negative._

"Sir, supper?", Bomber asked him while he passed.

"Uh? No sorry Bomber. Haven't got an appetite."

"Oh, it's not that bad sir", she sounded hurtful.

"No, no, your food is good, but I'm just too busy with many other things. Don't worry."

Meanwhile he reached the bridge.

"Dutchy, any news yet?"

"No Sir. We will keep on trying," he said looking desperate at Mike.

He nodded. "Ok, I'll be in my cabin. You can call me at any time."

"Aye sir," Dutchy responded.

In his cabin he called Navcom to give feedback.

"Commander White speaking," he heard Maxine's voice at the other end.

"Maxine, it's Mike…."

"Ah, there you are, I was just wondering why you didn't call," she interrupted him.

"Actually we have a situation. We're missing two men of one of the evacuation teams. We are still in front of the coast line and tomorrow we will go on shore to look for them."

"Great, now even that again. What have you done there? The Vanuatu government is meanwhile claiming that you violated their sovereignty," she said sharp.

"WHAT? We just entered the port as usual, but they chased us away. So we went on shore with the rhibs out of the sight of the harbour," Mike said irritated.

"Ok, I know, I know, but the government is making a fuss about it. At this level they will make a diplomatic incident of it. So I hoped you were already miles away from the bloody island, but unfortunately it isn't. To make it worse there are still two men on it. Right, but keep your action low profile, yes? By the way, do you have evacuees? ", Maxine continued much softer now.

"Yes, we do. One French doctor and three Australians."

"Nice, they are our proof that we've done an humanitarian act. Ok, call me back tomorrow after you have found them."

"Ok, Maxine. See you."

Mike hung up and stared at blank at his laptop.

_They are really playing a dirty game. But I'm wondering where Kate and Lance are. Knowing this, it might be possible that they were taken prisoner to show the world how bad we are. _

The next day, at dawn, a rhib with Dutchy, Swain, 2Dads, Bird and Harpie left the Hammersley to follow the same track as Kate and Lance did.

They had taken their precautions and wore the Kevlar vests, rifles and guns.

Mike was pacing on the bridge. He had barely slept that night and there was still no sign from Kate and Lance.

After an hour there was a first reaction.

"Bravo-82 to Charlie-82, " Dutchy's voice sounded sober.

"Charlie-82 to Bravo-82. I'm listening," Mike tried to sound as calm as possible.

"We reached the farm. Everything is deserted. Doors are open. Looks like the rebels passed here recently. There's also a heavy smell of a fire."

A bit later.

"Bravo-82 to Charlie-82. We found three bodies. They are heavily burned and …. two of them are military."

Mike meant to recognize a sinister change in Dutchy's normally sober voice.

"Charlie-82 to Bravo-82. Ours?" Mike was clenching the microphone, afraid of the answer.

"Difficult to say. They are burned with petrol which increased the heat."

"Ok, we let nobody behind. I'll send a team with body bags. Over."

He turned around and looked at his senior NCO.

"Right, Charge, take a few men and bring three body bags to the shore."

"Aye sir," Charge answered. He feared the worst.

Mike went out took grip of the railing and stared at the green coast line.

_Let it be a mistake. Let it be some local police officers. This must not be true._

More then one hour later the RHIBS were back. Mike watched from the bridge how they came along the Hammersley to be taken on board again. His stomach shrunk when he saw the black bags in the boats. He went down to see them. The men were dreadfully cut up by it. They stared gloomy at the deck and Bird was completely upset . She was crying. Dutchy came to him, Swain followed him. He could see they urgently needed a drink.

"Mission accomplished sir," he said plain.

Before Mike could ask something, Swain took over.

"Sir, can I have a word in private?"

"Yes, in my cabin."

Swain followed Mike and closed the door after him.

"Sir, we have all reasons to believe the bodies are from Lance and … the X," he paused to pull him self back together. "They were not recognisable anymore, but some remains were obvious. Parts of the shoes, the Kevlar jackets, the hand guns and…," he swallowed. "This." He handed over the dog tags of their two mates.

"They were killed with a shot in the forehead."

Mike was frozen. Swain stood there with the dog tags in his hand. It seemed hours before Mike used all his forces to take them from Swain. He looked at the black burned dog tags. Swain had wrapped some of the black away so he could recognise the names.

AUSTR

71324…

K E MCGREG…

Mike looked at it. His brain didn't function anymore.

He looked up at the upset face of Swain and nodded.

"Thank you Swain; You've done enough. I'll say it to the crew," he whispered.

Swain remained in the cabin.

"Yes, something else?", he asked softly but a bit annoyed. His body and mind screamed to be alone for a couple of minutes.

"Uh, sir, there's something else that you have to know," Swains shuffled uneasy from one leg to another.

"Yes, tell me," Mike got clearly irritated.

"I think … she was … engaged sir. I found the remains of a ring on the chain with her dog tags. Did you know that?", Swains went in his pocket and pulled out the ring.

Mike widened his eyes. His breath caught.

"Uh? Yes … NO, I didn't", he spat out.

"I'm just wandering how we have to find out who that poor devil is. And how we have to tell that poor fellow in a decent way that his fiancée has been killed like a pig and burned like garbage. Maybe you can find something in her locker?", he said embittered.

Mike looked at Swain like he just saw a ghost.

"Sir?"

"Uh, yes, yes, of course. But that's not your problem, but mine. Carry on Swain."

"Aye sir," and he left the cabin.

Mike sank slowly in his rack with the ring and the dog tags in his hand. The ring was heavily deformed by the heat and the fire. His view became blurry and he put the back of his hand to his mouth to extinguish his sobbing.

_Swain, you found the poor devil and couldn't you really tell that poor fellow in a better way that his girl friend was killed like a pig and burned like garbage?_

_My Katie garbage? Noooo!. _

After a few minutes, he took a few times a deep breath and went to his bathroom to splash some water in his face and he left to the bridge.

When he looked at the depressed faces he knew that the whole crew was already aware of the current disaster. Nevertheless he took the microphone and took a deep breath.

"This is the captain, to all personal. The bodies of Lieutenant Kate McGregor and Able Seaman Lance Walker were found together with one of the farmers. Next to this we evacuated four people and we will return now to the base. Carry on."

Mike closed the connection and stared at the microphone.

_I've never thought I have to announce this. It's so imaginary. _

_I guess I'll wake up soon because she's ramming my door. It was just like I announced a drink. _

_Was it that easy? _

_Disgusting! _

_I feel sick. _


	6. Killed in Action Ch 6 They know now

Chapter 6. They know now

Mike did not realise they were looking at him. He stared at blank through the wind screen.

Dutchy was back at the bridge after he had taken a shower. He brought Mike back to the earth.

"Sir, are we going to leave?"

Bomber who was on duty sat behind the steering wheel and asked.

"Boss, a course? "

"Shall I have the anchor pulled?", Charge asked.

It looked like Mike woke up all of a sudden. He turned towards his men. "Yes, … pull the anchor, rotations 1800 course 3-6-1," he reacted in a hurry.

Later that day, Swain was on watch at the helm and he noticed they were steaming straight towards a reef.

"Boss, reef straight ahead," he mentioned.

Mike didn't react, notwithstanding he was looking straight forward through the wind screen.

"Boss?"

It was only when Dutchy tapped his arm Mike realised Swain asked something.

"What … what did you say?"

"A reef straight ahead sir."

"Yes indeed, … stop both engines backboards 20 degrees."

Later that afternoon, a phone was ringing an RO took up and passed it quickly to Mike.

"Sir, Navcom."

"Okay, I'll take it in my cabin," he said and he hurried downstairs.

"_Mike_! I thought you were going to call me! I can't keep off the government from my and your skin you know!" Maxine said irritated.

"What for the devil is the situation?"

"Sorry Maxine, I forgot," he said guilty.

She sounded a bit worried now. "Mike I'm not used to that from you. What's going on?"

There was a silence.

He took a deep breath.

"Maxine, we found our missing crew members. They were murdered," he answered dull.

"_What_ did you say?", she exclaimed.

"You heard me."

"Who were they?", Maxine's tone has changed.

"Able Seaman Lance Walker and Lieutenant … Kate …. McGregor," his voice became husky.

"Oh, Mike….."

On the other side of the line Maxine turned her chair towards the scale model of the frigate and stared at it at blank. She felt like the earth disappeared under her feet. She knew what Kate meant to him, but Mike nor Kate didn't know that she knew they had a relation. She swallowed a lump in her throat.

"I'm sorry Mike," she said softly. "How did they…" She didn't dare to speak the awful word.

"Shot in the forehead and burned."

"Damn!" She wrapped with her fingers in her eyes for relaxation and noticed there was make up on her fingers.

_Damn!_

"Okay, return to base and I will do the admin matters here. Fair winds Mike."

After she hung up, she grabbed her handbag and hurried to the rest room to restore her make up.

_What's going to bring that for us? Nothing good. We are already balancing at the sharp of the edge with that stupid government that claimed we violated their borders. With these two bodies, I don't know which dirty game they are going to play. I have to accuse them of murder, for sure, but who?._

_And Mike?_

_Finally he found someone and now this. Does she have relatives here? I doubt. Then Mike would be the unofficial one._

_The other one Walker? I don't know that guy._

That evening in the mess of the crew. Those who were not on duty relaxed. RO and Bomber were eating their supper, 2Dads was glancing through a magazine and Duchy leaned backwards with a mug of coffee in his hand. The radio was playing softly and at the back they heard Bird busy with the clean up in the galley. A normal scenery except that the atmosphere was low spirited. Swain entered with a dish and sat down next to Dutchy who shifted a bit.

"Gosh, I just saved this from the garbage bin, otherwise it was dry bread," he said happy about his meal.

"Enjoy it." Bomber mumbled.

Swain looked at Dutchy and said between two bites. "Dutchy, sorry for you mate. You and the X were friends, huh?"

"Yeah, indeed, we were friends." He said tired.

"Sorry I didn't say that earlier."

"It's ok mate, no prob. It's the risk of the job."

Bomber finished her dish.

"I'm really concerned about the boss. He's reacting different then with the death of ET. It looks like he's millions of miles away and he barely eats something."

"Yeah, that's right," Swain added after swallowing a mouthful. "He's not alert anymore. Everyone has to attract his attention to everything."

"That's normal hey, when you loose someone," Dutchy merged him self into the conversation.

"Yeah, we all experienced it with the death of ET too, but now it's so different with him," RO replied.

"I mean to loose someone close," Dutchy answered.

"What do you mean? Explain," Bomber said frowning.

"Normally I would keep my mouth shut about it, but now it doesn't matter anymore.

Kate and the boss had a relation. He proposed to her during the last shore leave."

"No, you mean it?", Bomber was startled.

"Shit, poor bastard," 2Dads said.

"How long were they a couple?", RO asked.

"I noticed it when the X found the boss back in the cabin of the cruiser of Gorki. Later she admitted to me that they had a relation."

"Ouch, that's quite some time," RO replied.

"Then the ring was his?", Swain said, but he saw the questioned faces and explained. "I found a ring on the chain with the dog tags around her neck and I gave it to the boss."

All of a sudden Swain hit his forehead with his hand.

"Oh no, what kind of an asshole I am. When I gave him the ring I was so embittered that I asked him how we had to tell the poor fellow on a decent way that his fiancée has been killed like a pig and burned like garbage. That poor devil was him. Fuck !" He exclaimed.

"Swaino, no, how could you do that?", Bomber said with a disapproving glance. "Couldn't you have said it more diplomatic?"

"Sorry, I didn't know. I must have hurt him, for sure. Damn" Swain replied with a grimace.

"What do we have to do now? Go with him to the pub?", 2Dads asked?

"We will keep an eye on him and the pub solution is only very temporally. You can't get her back with it," Dutchy said.

"No, we have to let him know he's not alone. We're there too for him," Bomber added.

"How? Just be knocking his door and say 'Hey boss we stand after you.'", RO replied on this.

"Yeah, why not. Don't make it difficult. It's complicated enough at the moment", Bomber said.

"See you all. I have to finish some reports," Dutchy said while he stood up and put his mug in the sink and left. In his cabin, he opened his laptop, but his hands lingered above the keyboard.

_Shall I tell him that I know? Or not? Maybe Kate told him I knew it too. Then it would be so idiot to keep your mouth shut. Bomber has right. We have to let him know._

He stood up and went to Mike's cabin. There he hesitated before knocking.

_Should I ? Damn yes, I do._

He knocked the door.

"Come in."

Dutchy entered and closed the door. Mike was writing as well one of the so many reports.

_What's in fact our core business? Watching our borders or writing reports?_

He turned to see who came in. "Dutchy what's up?"

Dutchy looked at him.

_Ouch, the event of today made you all of a sudden quite older._

"Boss, I just want to share my condolences with you."

Dutchy saw a mixture of a startling and questioning glance on his face. He didn't wait until Mike asked for an explanation.

"Sir, I'm sorry for you. The X told me about your relation and the proposal. If there's anything we can do for you?"

"Uh, yeah, indeed, we have … had a relation. From the moment I had my shore post back we could proceed, but it doesn't matter anymore now. How long did you know that?"

"Quite some time, since you were captured by Gorki."

"Hmm, I see. She never told me about it. Thanks for keeping quiet. But you said 'we'."

"I had to tell the others too. They were worrying because you were side tracked a few times today."

Mike shrugged. "It doesn't matter anymore.

All right, thank you for telling it me."

"Ok, boss, see you."

Dutchy left and went to his own cabin.

_That was it. He reacted rather cool. Probably doesn't realise it yet. Anyhow it will give him some comfort to know he's not alone._

Mike stared at blank to the shelve with his books and files.

_He knows, they know now. What does it matter if they know or not. She's gone. It's stupid that I can't wipe the images away that we would have organised a barbecue for the crew to celebrate our marriage._

Then he heard another knock on his door. He didn't know how long he had been sitting there looking at his books.

_What now again?_

"Yes, come in."

Swain and Bomber entered.

"Sir, I want to apologise for my rude remark today about the X. I didn't know that you were her fiancé, " Swain started.

"We were concerned about you and Dutchy told us about the situation," Bomber added.

"It's ok Swain. It was rude, but it was the damn truth. Thanks Bomber for your concern, but I'm fine."

"Sir, I mean it. You can't keep something for you, you will process it faster if you talk about it," Bomber sounded really concerned.

"I can help if it comes to more delicate situations."

"Sally can also assist, if you want," Swain suggested.

"Thank you all. I'll keep it in mind", Mike said forcing a slight smile.

They left. Mike looked at the objects at his desk and smiled.

_How ironic is this now. When we had our relation we did all the effort to keep it secret. Now that she passed away, everybody knows. If Kate had known that she would have freaked out a tad._

_Everybody knows it now._

_Yes, why not?_

He stood up, opened his cupboard and took out a small frame with a photo of a smiling Kate in civvies and put it on his desk.

_It doesn't matter anymore. I can't break the fraternisation rules, because there's nothing anymore to break them._

He smiled again sadly to the picture for the cynic joke he made.

_I have to take all her stuff together. The cabin must be free for another XO. Tomorrow there will maybe be no time for it. So I have to do it now. I hate this, but nobody else can do it._

He stood up and went to Kate's cabin. Mike closed the door behind his back and leaned against while he looked around.

_It feels awkward. It's just like she's on watch at the bridge and could return at any time. Her desk with her laptop, closed, a few files at her desk. It's like I still hear one of our last conversations here. 'Just thought you wanted a brew?' 'Hmm, that's always welcome. Thanks a lot.' 'Well, because there's no other XO that is as good as you are.' 'Oh, come on you !'_

_Here her rack, a spy novel and a few fashion magazines peaked out of the stowage, her cupboard. Everything is very clean as expected. She was not for nothing called Princess Perfect._

He stepped to the bathroom and looked around.

_Hmm, her perfume bottle, deo, shampoo, comb._

He took the perfume opened the bottle and sniffed.

_That's her, my Kate. How often did I smell this at the bridge and couldn't say she smelled good?_

He put the bottle back and went to the cupboard to open it.

His eyes went over the shelves and groaned.

_Damn that hurts._

_Her handbag, her official white uniform, uniform blouses, grey t-shirts, camouflage stuff._

"_Hey what are you snooping in my cupboard?"_

He turned quickly, but there was no one else in the room and he turned back to the cupboard.

_Jesus, it was just like I heard her._

_Her clothes, a few blouses and tops, even a few dresses. Pff, quite some shoes here, I didn't know she had so many civvies' stuff here. Some other spy and action novels and fashion magazines. Hey, what's that? A magazine about marriages. Why are these markers on these pages? Hmm white dresses. Damn!_

He smiled sadly and a lump was forming in his throat.

"Too late honey, too late." He whispered husky.

_Huh, a photo. That's us! That was one year ago, at my parents' home before we went to that show in the city._

Mike turned the photo and read the text at the back.

'Once we will be together' , 'Just a matter of time!'

"Oh God. Poor girl." He mumbled.

He sank down at her rack with the photo in his hand and tried to keep back a few sobs.

A few minutes later he pulled him self back together and stood up and went back to the cupboard.

With a mixture of disillusionment and grief he yanked a big sports bag out of the cupboard with such a force that the heel of one of her shoes hooked behind the belt and it flew in the cabin against the desk with a loud smack.

"Crap!"

Just after it he heard a knock on the door which opened instantly together with the voice of Bomber.

"Who's inside?"

She was clearly surprised to see Mike.

"Oh, boss, I just collected the empty mugs from the bridge and was on my way to the galley when I heard a strange noise from inside and I wanted to know who was pulling his nose in the stuff of the X."

"Uh, yeah, me. I have to put it all away. She doesn't come back," he said unhappy.

"Oh boss, you don't have to do that alone. I told you, if you need something. Come, let me help you."

She put down the mugs, ignored the wretched face of Mike, opened the bag and started to move her cloths in the bag in such a decent way that only women can do. Then she took Kate's handbag and reached it him.

"Here boss, that's something you have to take care for."

"Yeah, indeed, you're right," he stammered.

She continued loaded and threw a quick glance at Mike who stood there with her handbag under his arm looking how Bomber emptied the cupboard and the bathroom.

She threw a quick glance at him.

_He commands a war ship, and soon the entire division, but he doesn't succeed in emptying the cupboard of his girlfriend. Poor guy._

"So that's it. I'll leave you now. See you tomorrow."

"Yeah, indeed. Thanks a lot Bomber," he gave her a weak smile.

Mike closed her cabin and went to his own. There he put the handbag on his desk sat down and stared at it.

_It's so indecent, I don't feel happy with it, but I have to._

"I'm so sorry Kate," he said softy and opened the handbag.

_Car keys, handkerchief, another perfume bottle, ball point, notebook, house keys. No wallet? Of course that one is burned as well. Hey, another section here, a photo in it, hmm that's me._

He took the house keys and laid them on his desk.

I need them to put her stuff inside.

He closed the handbag and put it in his cupboard.

He undressed him self and lay down on his rack, staring at the ceiling and waiting for a sleep that didn't want to come.

To be continued


	7. Killed in Action Ch 7 Coming home

Chapter 7. Coming home

"Looking at the figures of the last quarter, we see an increase of 10% of the cost, mainly due to a higher rate for the heavy fuel and the salaries ...

… the government decreased the budget for the navy which has its influence on the order of two new frigates …"

Maxine looked irritated at her watch and looked forward again at the projection screen that showed another stupid statistic about the navy expenses. Meanwhile she was playing with her ball point.

_Damn! That mandatory presentation will be going on for another two hours. I need to be at the dock when the Hammersley arrives. Has the Brass really nothing else to do? Figures, figures and more figures. Once more it shows that there's an enormous gap between the staff and us, who does the real job._

"… we will only decrease the number of staff members of the active service …"

_Oh great! Only and again the active service. But they don't touch the army of clerks who prepare' these bloody figures. It's us again on the ships. Once they took away our navigators. They refused Kate's first promotion and there's no other commander to replace Mike. Mike is still to come back to Navcom.. Now with this measurement it will be a hard task to find an XO and a CO for the Hammersley._

"… another level to cut the costs is the catering and the uniforms …"

_Right soon we have to board fishing boats to get some food. Why can't he stop? I need to be at the quay. The Hammersley has already arrived and I need to be there for the crew and for Mike to show that I really care for their loss._

Finally the presentation ended and she hurried to her office to grab her hat and to go to the quay.

When she arrived at the Hammersley, the first sailors were already leaving and she met first Charge.

"Good afternoon ma'am," he said without emotions.

"Good day Chief Petty Officer," she noticed he threw a glance at her like 'where have you been? You had to be here when we arrived.'

_I know Thorpe, I know._

"The bodies are already away and the evacuees have been picked up by the Fed's ma'am," he continued like he wanted to tell her that she was too late.

"Yes, very good. Where's Commander Flynn?", she asked ignoring his hint.

"Sorry, ma'am, I don't know. I've been busy with the engines and the supplies. You'd better ask our buffer."

"Right."

She went on board and headed to the bridge where she found Dutchy, Swain, Bomber and RO. They were obviously surprised to see her there.

"Ma'am?", Dutchy pushed off.

"Mullholland, where's Commander Flynn?"

"He left ma'am, about 30' ago with a few sports bags."

"Did he say where he was headed to?"

"No, and it's not our task to ask where the captain goes to."

"I can only guess," she said and turned back to the staircase.

Then she went downstairs followed by Dutchy and Swain. She opened the XO's cabin door and noticed an empty space.

"Ok, I know enough. You'd better not leave him alone. In his state of mind he's a danger for himself," she said blaming the others because she was angry and disappointed that she couldn't be there when the Hammersley arrived.

"But ma'am, we can't say to him that he may not leave. He's a high ranked officer," Swain defended them.

Maxine sighted. "Yes, you're right. For sure he's gone to Ka... Lieutenant McGregor's house, I'll chase him there. But, arrange something for the coming days that you can watch him, right?"

"Yes ma'am," they replied.

"Ma'am can you let me know where we can find him?", Dutchy asked.

"Yeah, will do," she said and then she hurried of the boat.

Mike stopped his car in front of Kate's house, turned off the engine and looked at the house.

_This is it. Shall I pass the border? Or do I put these bags at my home? No, it's my duty to put them inside. How shall it be?_

After a few minutes he got out, took the bags and went to her house. He hesitated a bit before he slit her house key in the lock , but finally he did. He pushed the door open and went inside with a bag in each hand. He pushed the door gentle with his foot to close it, but it wasn't hard enough and it remained ajar.

He saw her shoes in the hall and stopped and looked towards the living.

"Kate?" He said in a spur of the moment.

_Idiot. Why?_

He went further to the living room and stopped, still with the bags in his hands.

"Kate, I'm home !", he said loud.

He listened how the house remained silent and shook his head.

_Fool. How often did I fancy myself to say that at the end of the day on shore? Why did you do that for? For one of another unreasonable idea I hoped to hear her voice coming from somewhere like 'Hey Darling, how was your day?'_

He put down the bags and started wandering through the living. He looked at the frames with pictures of the crew and among them there was a somewhat bigger one of them both, in civvies at a barbecue. He smiled sad.

_Nice camouflaged between the other crew photo's, but big enough to tell something to a clever observer._

He looked at the couch where she sat on his lap. Then he looked up to the staircase and saw her coming down in her short blue dress and heard to clicking sound of her heels on the stairs. He turned and looked at the table, the candles were still on it and thought at the moment of the ring. Her moist eyes, her voice, crystal clear in his head _'Do you want to say….', 'You made me really happy!'._

A lump was forming in his throat. He sighed. But he didn't notice someone came in after him.

"Mike?"

He turned quickly. "Kate?", he exclaimed with a glimmer of hope on his face.

"No, I'm sorry Mike," Maxine sounded sad.

Mike tried to recompose himself. "Maxine, I … uh … just came to put her stuff inside."

Maxine went slowly to her friend.

"Mike, I know … about you and Kate," she said gently.

Then he collapsed. He started crying.

"She's gone, Max, … she's gone … for ever…. I loved her so much !"

They sat down at the couch and took each other in each other arms.

"I … really hoped … I could start … with her. She was so … amazing…" he sobbed.

"I didn't … get a single chance. I was … stuck on that … f*cking boat."

Maxine became so upset of the grief of her friend that she started crying as well.

"Mike, talk it out, it will do you good" she said while she gave him a hug.

"All these items, … they all let me think of her. At every spot … there's something what we have said, … done, … experienced," he said huskily.

"I know, I know," she said gentle and gave him another hug.

"Max, I think I need a drink. Will you come with me? I don't want to be alone now."

"I'll come with you, but I'll get some other clothes."

He looked at her and smiled sadly. "You'd better check yourself out before leaving. You look like a bad aquarelle painting."

"Oh, thank you very much mister Mike Flynn!", she answered simulated angry.

"Kate used to say that in the exact same way," he said sadly.

"Oh, sorry Mike," and she gave him a gentle squeeze on his shoulder.

Maxine went to the bathroom to remove the damaged make up.

They left Kate's house to drive to her apartment. Maxine changed her white uniform for a cotton trousers and a blouse, she untied her hair and they left to a bistro in the neighbourhood for a supper and a drink.

In the bistro, after they have eaten a bit.

"Max, how did you know that Kate and I had a relation?", he asked.

"Nobody told me, but there were several small things and when I linked them together it was obvious", she said looking at him.

"How?"

She shrugged. "It was the way how you had contact with each other. I see all commanding officers and their XO's and among them there are several women. They all kept a formal distance. But you both didn't."

"But? We didn't show anything, did we?", he said in defence.

"No you didn't. As I said, it were little things. For example, you stood closer to each other. You know everybody kept a certain distance to the other person when talking, a kind of comfort zone and when you know each other better, then the comfort zone becomes closer. And that's what I noticed with you."

Another beer and wine were ordered.

"What else?"

"The way you read files. You bent to each other and you read them together, the others read them apart and pass the pages one by one."

Mike stared in his glass of beer while he was listening.

"Also the way she was discussing some orders of you. That's something you only do when you know each other well.

"When I saw you in the mess, you were always together."

"Was it so obvious?" he asked with a questioning glance.

"No, otherwise I had to take measurements."

"Max, another one?" He said lifting his glass a bit.

"Uh, yeah, ok."

"How long did you know each other?"

"Pfft, from the beginning", he said leaning back in his chair.

"Uh?" She said frowning.

"I noticed her for the first time at a course at ADFA some ten years ago. She has asked me a question that surprised me. No other cadet has asked about that particular exception. When I looked into that honest face with these green eyes, I was totally away from her. She was so … different. Gorgeous, but alone, vulnerable and on the other hand untouchable.

Everything what she did was perfect expect for one thing. She had troubles to make contact with others and therefore she was not received in the group and many of the others pestered her. I could see that it hurt her, but she didn't do anything back. One day I encountered her at the promenade along the bay and she was crying about it. I comforted her and so it all started."

"But you were a teacher at that moment?"

"Yeah, that made it so difficult. Every date was strict secret."

Maxine nodded slightly. "And it continued until now?"

"No, she was very focussed on her future career and so did I. I sensed a relation couldn't make a chance…"

Mike stopped talking and stared at blank outside the window.

"What?", Maxine encouraged him to continue.

"I stopped it," he said husky.

"Uh? And how did she react?", Maxine asked surprised.

"I don't know. I just left", he said blunt.

"WHAT?" Maxine was startled. "Without a message? Why? How could you do that?"

"Another wine?", he asked.

"Yeah, I need it", she said firm.

"But, Mike, for god's sake, how could you do that? "

He shrugged. "I didn't know what to say. I thought it wouldn't hurt not to tell then to tell it."

"No go! You'd better told her. Now you've hurt her twice," she said indignantly.

She saw his hurt face.

"We saw each other back at the Hammersley", he continued beaten.

"And?"

"What do you think? She was pissed off at me. I tried to be professional."

She nodded to show him that she understood her reaction.

"How did you tell her then?", Maxine asked suspicious.

"I said that we'd better forgot 'the other thing'. But I think the message wasn't the good one, because I remember she snapped back 'you call it the other thing.' Then I knew for sure I said something wrong."

Maxine shook her head. "Mike , you are really a nutcase! I think you might have been happy that she still wanted you after all."

"Yeah, when I saw her back, I started feeling the same things for her, but initially she didn't. She kept distance, even a bit aggressive. I felt a change when I was blown into the hospital at Samauru. Then I met another Kate, back again the tender one."

"Huh, you've put another wine put here?" She said surprised when she returned from the ladies room.

"Yeah, my beer was empty and yours too, so."

"Bit by bit we started dating again while we were on shore. But we took care not to be seen."

The wine began to do its work.

"That wasf not what you thought. Cairnsf isf a fsmall town. You can't hide much. I fsaw you both once in supermarket and that's fsomething a commanding officer isn't doing with his XO. And at the beach also, hand in hand. Obvious isn't it?"

He looked shocked. "And you didn't say anything to the Brass?"

"No, you're my friend and you both are pro…professional on board, fso. You may also have a fchanfce to be lucky," she said difficult

_Damn, that bloody wine makes me drunk. I have to stop this before it ends I don't know where!_

"A chance to be lucky, Goddamn Max, she's dead now!", he said angry.

"Fsssorry Mike. I fthink we'd better go now."

"Come on, another one?", he begged.

"No no, come on now, you have f… fair enough, … and me ftoo!"

She pulled him upright and wanted to pay but he stopped her and threw a couple of banknotes on the table and both swayed outside.

Mike's place was nearby and with all her efforts she succeeded him to get inside.

She managed to get him undressed and to put him on his bed.

"Come Max , come next to me, cosy!"

"Nope Mike, you in your b..bed and me on the co…couch."

Back in the living room she remembered the question of Dutchy and texted him a message that Mike was at home. Once the message was sent she didn't even kicked out her shoes, but plopped completely dressed on the couch.

_Is the room turning as mad or is the couch turning as mad? I don't know….._

_Which fool is actually drilling a hole with a pneumatic hammer next to my ear?_

The sound of a door bell was jamming through the house.

Maxine on the couch groaned. Very slowly she came upright, holding her head with two hands.

"Oh my god, what's that? My head is bouncing. My back, it's broken." She groused.

"Stop that fucking door bell. I'm coming," she yelled. She thought she yelled but it was only a husky scream.

She stumbled to the door.

"Oh, I feel bad. What happened yesterday? I even still have my shoes on," she mumbled.

Maxine opened the door and saw it was Dutchy.

"Good morning ma… ouch", he said when he saw Maxine's appearance.

"Come in," she answered dull and stepped aside.

She closed the door again.

"Is it that bad?", she asked him.

"Uh…"

"Hmm, your lacking answer confirms it. I feel that bad also. I don't know where your commanding officer has learned to drink like that?"

"He's ok?", Dutchy asked concerned ignoring her question.

"Oh, yeah. He's sleeping like a little prince. But if I am ok, that's a complete other question," she said sarcastically.

"Thanks for coming. I go home and I'll try to get human again. You'll see he will look like an officer again, will you?"

"Yes ma'am."

"And, see that someone else will watch him tonight. I'm out of order today."

Dutchy tried to hide a grin. "Yes ma'am."

She grabbed her handbag and stepped outside, groaning in the bright sun light.

Dutchy went to the kitchen to make a strong pot of coffee, then he went to the bedroom wandering how he has to wake up his commanding officer.

_Poor fellow. Now he's still dreaming of Kate and within a couple of minutes it's again the rude reality._

_Shouting? _

_Nope, that's for recruits._

_Shaking? _

_Yeah, best guess._

To be continued


	8. Killed in Action Ch 8 The cover up

Chapter 8. The cover up

During the morning Maxine entered her office with her cup of coffee and a splitting headache. The effervescent tablet didn't seem to work, neither did the long refreshing shower she had taken at home. It promised to be a long day.

Her assistant had already put the daily mail at her desk and it was nothing more of less then other days, but today it seemed to her it was huge. She stared gloomy to the pile and sighed.

Finally she took the first item and started reading it hoping nobody would disturb her.

Her hope was in vain because a few minutes later her phone rang.

She glared at the device thinking if she would ignore it or not, but the thing made too much noise.

"Commander White speaking," she answered grumpy.

"Commander, Admiral Fairfax from HQ speaking."

"Yes sir !" All of a sudden she was awake.

_Why on earth does an admiral call me directly?_

"Commander, it's regarding the incident at Vanuatu and the casualties at Esperito Santo. The government of Vanuatu is claiming a violation of their territory by one of our ships. They have pictures of the Hammersley when it was in the port and moored. There are even pictures of a combat group at the quay."

_Damn, what a dirty game is this? Are they really going to put a knife in our backs?_

"Admiral, I assure you that we were there for a humanitarian action, the evacuation of Australian and other nationalities. I have the written orders from head quarters here." Maxine tried to defend the case.

"I know Commander, I know. I have them in front of me. But the Vanuatu government doesn't have these orders and for them it's like we invaded their territory to destabilize the government."

"But admiral, did the general staff not reply that it was for an evacuation?"

"Yes Commander, of course they did, but the reaction was that this was an opportunity for a country of the western culture to take possession of an underdog. They are making play with acts of globalization."

"Admiral, before our people have made ten steps they were obliged to return to the vessel and they left."

"Exactly, but they didn't speak about that last part. That doesn't fit well in their claim you see. But that problem is not the worst. We have the witnesses that the Hammersley brought back. We are going to use them as a justification for our action there. But if they are going to ask how we got these witnesses, then we will have an extra problem.

That brings us to the second problem, your accusation of murder. It's disregarded."

"_What_?",Maxine exclaimed.

"Oh sorry sir," she realised she was talking to an Admiral.

"Commander, if we are going to accuse that two of our people have been murdered then we admit that we violated their sovereignty. Moreover the government is still the point of entry and our people have been killed by guerrilla's and they are not under the control of the government. The result would be that Australia has poked their nose in the business of a poor country that we want to predominate. Such a situation will throw a bad shine on Australia opposite the other countries in this part of the world."

_Damn, shouldn't you drop dead right now?_

"I see. An accusation wouldn't make sense because there's no official instance to accuse."

"Precisely. I couldn't have said it better Commander," she heard the Admiral answering.

"Admiral, I've also recommended Lieutenant McGregor to receive posthumously the Conspicuous Service Cross and Able Seaman Walkers the Conspicuous Service Medal."

"Yes, I saw that request, but it's refused," the admiral said without shyness.

"Sir, you can't say this! They paid their lives for this operation." Maxine said upset, doing an ultimate try.

"No Commander, there will be no medals, nor a ceremony. That will especially attract the press and then the whole story will stand in the newspapers and the southern part of Asia will know what Australia has done towards Vanuatu."

Maxine made a face.

_Goddamn, you ugly bastard!_

"Sir, that means in fact that our people are sacrificed for the good name of Australia?", Maxine stated angrily.

"Commander White, I will do like I haven't heard that. Let's say that we don't see that there's a relation between the dead to the two sailors and the sovereignty incident. For us, their death is a tragic accident and this kind of thing might happen when you join the Army, the Air Force or the Navy.

Commander, I think you know what to do. Yes?"

"Admiral, I will take care for it.", she said beaten.

"Splendid Commander, we understand each other. Bye for now."

"Good day Admiral," she said disappointed.

Maxine hung up and looked desperate around to destroy something or to throw with something. Moreover she could express her anger to shout loud out that Fairfax was a thoroughbred idiot, but the problem should be that the entire department should have heard her.

To comfort herself she emptied her cup of coffee.

_Now even that again, it became cold. And that bloody headache isn't better, on the contrary. How's possible? Our two people are sold to save the face of the minister._

She sighed again and took the next envelope from her inbox. It came from the personnel department and carried the label 'confidential'.

She opened it and started reading it. Then she closed her eyes, let slip the letter through her hands and leaned backwards on her chair.

"Assholes! Why did they do that for?", she mumbled.

She took the letter again and checked its content once more.

… the general staff has decided to promote Lieutenant Katherine Elisa McGregor to Lieutenant-Commander…

_No, this couldn't be true. I announced she's dead and now they promote her. Is the staff really so stupid? _

She checked the dates.

_Thank God no. The decision is made one day before she went missing. Thus she was still alive when she was promoted. It's really a pity she never got to know it._

She was tapping with her fingers on the paper and stared at the things on her desk.

_Do I have to tell Mike about her promotion? If I do, what sense does it make? It can only make him angry and sad. So, I'd better don't do it. But, I must tell him about the refused ceremony. That will be already a hard nut to crack for him._

She looked at her watch.

_Should he be back a human being at this time? I still don't feel great, but that's to understand with these two stupid messages. I'll call the Hammersley right now._

She called the Hammersley but got Dutchy on the phone.

"HMAS Hammersley, Petty Officer Mullholland speaking."

"Mulholland, Commander White here, is Commander Flynn around?"

"Ma'am, he's on the ship but not here. Shall I pass a message?", he answered dryly.

"Uh, yes, tell him that he needs to come to my office asap."

"Right ma'am, I'll do."

After she hung up she tapped again with her fingers on her desk.

_Bloody Mulholland, well played. Now I don't know if Mike is a bit of a human being again. On the other hand, he must be there because it was Mulholland who answered my call and it was him too who took over my watch this morning._

30 minutes later Mike arrived at her desk and he knocked her door.

"Hi Maxine, you wanted to see me?"

"Yes Mike, how do you feel," she asked him a bit concerned.

He sat down. "Not too bad? And you."

"Don't ask me, yes?", she grumbled. "You must have a huge resistance. But that's not the reason I asked you. I'm afraid I have bad news."

"Again?", he answered hurt.

"The Brass declined my accusation for murder on Kate and Walkers…"

"But how?" Mike interrupted her.

"They say that there's no official establishment that we can accuse. Moreover the Vanuatu government is making a fuzz about our interaction there. The Brass ordered us to keep a low profile and to keep our mouth shut because our government doesn't want to loose its face against this part of the world."

"Two people died, you know," Mike replied irritated.

"As if I don't know that!", she snapped back.

She paused an instance and continued much softer.

"That means, Mike, that there will be no tribute and no medals for them. I'm sorry."

"So, our people just passed away and we have to forget them because otherwise a few politicians will stand with red cheeks. Nice!", he said embittered.

"Mike, I couldn't do anything. It was one of the admirals himself who called me."

Mike didn't say a word and Maxine was happy he didn't. Both sat a few minutes without saying anything, thinking about the whole situation.

"Mike?", Maxine pushed off again. "Did Kate have relatives?"

"Uh, not exactly. She broke up with her mother years ago and we don't know if she's still alive. And the last time she saw her father was when she was nine, somewhere in England. As far as I know she has no brothers nor sisters. That's what she told me."

"Thus, … that means … that you are the closest relative?", Maxine said prudent, looking straight to him.

Mike didn't say anything but shrugged and nodded.

"Uh, you know perhaps if she wanted to be buried or cremated?", Maxine asked softly.

Mike looked at her if he saw a ghost.

"Sorry, we never talked about that," he replied blunt.

He looked around like he wanted to read the answer somewhere.

"I would say burying? Then there's always something to remember."

"Ok, I'll ask the naval chaplain to make something nice of it. I think it will be something for the day after tomorrow. "

Mike nodded.

"That was it that I wanted to tell you."

"All right, then I'll go again to my ship. See you."

Maxine looked at Mike when he left her office and she felt guilty that she didn't have made his day, on the contrary.

She sighed. That headache was still there. She grabbed angry another file from her inbox and opened it, but then there was another knock on her door.

_Oh no! Not again!_

"Hey mum, how are you?"

Ryan stood in the door with his cap under his arm.

"Ryan !", she exclaimed. "Oh dear, I'm glad to see you."

"Surprise! I'm posted here now. I haven't said it earlier because I didn't want to spoil it."

"Great ! Can we have a supper tonight? Then we can talk. I really need a distraction," she said happy for the first time since the day before.


	9. Killed in Action Ch 9 Replacement

Chapter 9. Replacement

**Cairns, Navcom, 0830 Hr**

Maxine entered her office with mixed feelings. She put down her usual cup of coffee and hung her hat on the hook and went to her desk, taking the coffee with her.

She took a sip and made a face.

_Damn, still too hot. _

She sighed and turned her chair to look at the frigate model and started thinking about yesterday.

_The funeral of Kate yesterday was an emotionally charged day. The naval chaplain did the service in the church of Cairns and by orders of the Brass there was no official ceremony, no tribute. The entire crew was present, in civvies. They looked like beaten dogs and Mike looked like he had gone through a wringer. Their friend Nikki Caetano was also present. It looked like she went through the same wringer as Mike. I don't know how she managed to get in on time from Sydney to here, but she did. Mike's parents were present too, they sat a couple of rows behind the crew. _

_It was a serene service, however there was only one small incident. The chaplain mentioned Kate with her rank and name, Lieutenant-Commander Kate McGregor. I was nailed on my chair because I didn't expect that the chaplain should mention it. I heard murmuring among the crew and I felt Mike's eyes staring at me. I could only look at my pumps. I felt guilty due to the fact I didn't say it to him, because I didn't want to hurt him more. _

_When we left the church Mike was immediately questioning me. "Maxine, what was that about Lieutenant-Commander? Is that a mistake? You know more, isn't it?"_

"_Listen Mike, Kate has been promoted, but I didn't tell you because I didn't want to hurt you", I tried to calm him down._

_He became angry and snapped at me. "Bullshit Maxine!. You had to tell me, whatever. How long did she get her promotion?" _

"_The document came in the day after you entered the base. It was signed one day before she was missing in action." I grumbled back. I wasn't in the mood either._

_Mike cursed a lot and addressed swear-words to the idiots of the Brass. The crew was looking at us baffled. Two senior officers who are having a fight in front of subordinates is not done. But I couldn't care anymore. This case was already too abused. They all knew about their relation. It was now a matter of personal grief, embittering, anger and emotions and these had nothing to do anymore with the Navy. They expected an explanation, but I left that to Mike. That was a little privilege of me. His turn now, because I still hear that stupid voice of the admiral in my ears._

_The funeral at the church yard passed very gloomy and I'm absolutely sure that Mike passed the night in the pub again. Hopefully some crew members accompanied him to avoid worse._

_Come on, Max, back to work !_

Maxine turned her chair back and opened her agenda to see what's next. Useless in fact, because she knew it by heart. After 30 minutes she expected Mike and a bit later his new XO. She wished and she hoped for him that the new XO would give him a new spirit to restart. But she doubted if the new XO could pull Mike out of his grief for Kate. That why she had a dual feeling. She sighed and wanted to rub her face with both hands but she could just hold her, because she realised by doing that she would ruin her make up. Instead of that, she grabbed to other method of relaxation.

_Grrr, coffee then!_

She opened the file of the new XO. A picture was smiling at her.

Lieutenant Susan Dufour.

_This must work. No, it IS going to work. I know._

Maxine started reading.

She made her career on mine hunters and her last function was executive officer on that kind of vessels. One of her strong points is that she's loved by the crew, she has hands on her body and she knows how to tackle any kind of issues. Her behaviour is that of a bosun that became an officer.

She smiled when she read the next sentence. It was written in pencil. 'Nick name BULL'

She looked for negative remarks, but there were minor, however. 'More diplomacy would be required.'

She smiled again.

_What a huge difference when she compares this profile with Kate. Kate was 100% diplomacy, but she? Hmm, Mike has to find out now._

A knock on the door.

_Mike. _

_SHIT ! Now even that again. _

_Why can things never go the way I want them to go? How does he look like? I think he made his way directly from the pub to my office. Now I can see again that he looks a bit military before his new XO arrives. _

_Why me?_

His hair was not combed, there were walls under his eyes to hold a tsunami of the Coral Sea, he was unshaved and his white shirt looked like it hasn't seen an iron for months.

"Hi." He said with a sigh.

"Mike! Where have you been last night?" She walked to him from behind her desk and stayed in front of him at about 40 cm. She sniffed and made a grimace.

"Jagh! I smell you made a stress test with whisky again, didn't you?"

"Pfft, just a taste," he mumbled.

"Hmm, it has been a huge taste I assume?"

He just shrugged.

"_You!_ Come with me!" she said firmly and she turned him towards the door and gave him a slight push in his back. She grabbed also quickly her handbag.

"Follow me." And she guided him into the men's room.

"Now splash cold water in your face as long as needed to come a bit more earthly again."

After a few minutes he was drying his face at the towels.

She grabbed in her handbag her comb and gave it to him.

"Here, comb your hair."

She leaned to the wall looking at him through the mirror while he was combing his hair.

"Unfortunately I haven't got a shaver in my handbag. And now to the mess."

On their way to the mess she said.

"I'm having the feeling now I'm married again and that I'm trying to pull my husband back together."

"Hmm." That was the only thing Mike mumbled since they left Maxine's office.

At the mess she knocked at the door of the kitchen until one of the cooks appeared.

"Hi, just make a couple of cups of coffee. Use the espresso machine that you use when we have a visit of the admiral, not the brown water that is usually in our cans."

She ignored the hurt face of the cook about the brown water.

A few moments later she watched how Mike empties his first cup.

"Hmm, nice," he said quietly.

"That's good, take the other one," she said while she shoved the second cup to him.

"Indeed," he said after he finished the first half of it.

"Now, I'm glad I have sound too and not only vision," she said somewhat relieved.

"Listen Mike, I know it's awful, but if you continue like this you are going to destroy yourself. I can't let this happen. You're not going to solve the problem with an abused amount of alcohol."

"It's so hard Max," he said faintly while he stared gloomy in his cup.

"With or without whisky you can't get her back. I know it's cruel, but I must say this to wake you up. Moreover the crew is accompanying you and you're busy to make drunks of them. Look forward. One day or another, you'll meet someone else. You have still your whole life in front of you."

"Maybe."

"Not maybe. It is !"

"Within a minute you'll meet your new XO. I foresaw somewhat more time so that you could read her file, but due to your appearance, that time is now gone."

"_Her_ file?", he asked frowning.

"Yes, _her_. What's wrong with a female XO? Kate was also one. _Damn_, Mike, give her credits otherwise it will never work! And I can't tolerate a bad functioning team, whether you're my friend or not," she said clearly irritated while she slapped her hand on the table.

"Ok, ok, it's just, you know, a female officer will remind me to Kate," he said lifting his hands.

"Don't worry. She's different. She's one of the best I have to fit in your team," she changed her intonation.

She looked at her watch. "Come, finish your coffee. It's time. With a little bit of luck you can still have a look at her file."

"Hmm, not bad," he said closing her file.

"Not bad? Correction, good", Maxime corrected him.

"She has no experience with the job we are doing."

"And you not with mines," she snapped back.

"Everyone has to learn. Give her time."

A knock at the door.

A big sturdy woman stood in the doorway with her hat in her arm. She had brown curling hair and brown eyes that seem to look through everything. On the contrary with her sturdy body, her face was cute.

"Lieutenant Dufour ma'am."

"Yes, come in Lieutenant."

Both Mike and Maxine stood up.

"Commander Flynn, I present you your new executive officer Lieutenant Susan Dufour. Lieutenant Dufour, your new commanding officer, Commander Mike Flynn."

"Nice to meet you." They said both to each other and they shook hands.

Mike was surprised in all aspects.

_Ouch, firm handshake. My God, that's a frigate. She's almost as big as I am._

Susan threw a barely seen, quick glance on Mike and lifted her eyebrows.

_Jesus, what ragged figure is that? And he smells! A drunk as a captain, that's the last on earth I want._

Maxine looked from one the another and lifted her eyebrows as well.

_Ouch here's work to do. I see that Mike has already lost all his credits by her._

Maxine started. "Right. Now that the ice is broken I think you both can better look into the orders for the next patrol. You are sailing tomorrow morning."

"Ok, we will make it," Mike nodded to her.

They stood up to leave the office. Maxine noticed that Dufour has said barely a word, just the necessary things.

Mike left but Susan turned to Maxine.

"Ma'am, can I have a word in private?"

Maxine nodded. "Yes, close the door."

Susan closed the door and stayed upright in front of Maxine's desk.

"Permission to speak freely ma'am?"

"Yeah, go ahead."

_Okay, now I'll have it._

"Ma'am, I noticed the commander has been drinking. If that is his general behaviour I refuse to be his executive officer. Then I want to go back to the mine hunters."

Maxine looked at her.

_Damn. She's a quick and good observer. _

_Be lucky. You didn't saw him an hour ago. He just didn't vomit in my wastebasket._

_Normally I can start raging about obeying orders, but I know that that is not going to work._

"Lieutenant, this is only temporally. He's a decent commander in one piece…"

"Come on, ma'am, you see clearly that he's a drunk. That's not from one night out in the pub. And he smells like a whisky distillery."

_In her file stands 'More diplomacy would be required'. That's even extreme softly expressed. I would better say 'diplomacy : none'._

"Lieutenant, you're still speaking about a superior…" Maxine tried firmly.

"Ma'am, superior or not, such people are a threat for the crew and for the equipment. Our ships are too expensive to be scrapped by these people !" she said angrily.

_Diplomacy : none, but honesty : 100 %. Mike will have his hands full with her and I hope for god's sake this time only figuratively!_

_The commanding tone that I was using isn't working._

Maxine wanted to rub her face to gain some time.

All of a sudden her hands lingered in the air and she put them back on the desk.

_Stop! Make up!_

_Let's try another strategy. _

"Susan, give me couple of minutes to explain you something," Maxine said quietly.

Susan frowned, sat down and she bent barely seen to Maxine.

_Hmm, finally found the correct wavelength._

"Mike Flynn is our best commander of the patrol boats with the highest number of intercepted illegal vessels. But he suffers for the moment from the deadly loss of his girl friend."

"Traffic accident? Illness?" Susan seemed to be calmed down.

"No, she was Navy as well. Killed in action."

"Ouch, I see. Recently?"

"Yes; unfortunately. He's still upset and tries to forget by finding solutions at the bottom of bottles. That's not the right approach of course. Tomorrow the Hammersley sails again. It will be his first voyage after her death and I think that some action will keep him busy. I know that he doesn't drink on board."

Susan nodded.

"And that's why I appointed you. You have the reputation to keep your head cool in all circumstances. Give him some credits. And watch him. Be a bit the commander of the Hammersley as well. I know it's a big responsibility, but I know you are capable to handle that. One day you will be in the commander's chair as well."

"Ok ma'am. Now I understand, I'll take care for him, but do you think he will listen to me?", she sounded worried.

"Well I think that _that_ will be the least of your worries. When I see you, I'm persuaded he can't ignore you," Maxine said with a smile

Susan sighed. "Ok, I will make the best of it."

"Yes correct approach." Maxine tried not to show relief in her voice. She stood up and reached Susan Dufour the hand.

"Fair winds Lieutenant."

"Thank's ma'am, I think I will need it."

Maxine looked how Lieutenant Dufour left her office.

_Pfft. This was tiresome !_

Maxine took her cup of coffee and noticed it became cold.

_Grrr._

Disappointed she put the cup back with such a fierce move so that the liquid splashed over the cup and made spots on her desk.

_F*ck !_

She leaned back in her chair, sighed and rubbed her face with both hands…

_Damn ! Too late !_

She grabbed her handbag, took out a small mirror and looked at her face.

_Oh shit, what a mess!_

A knock at the door.

She looked up and saw her assistant. She was not aware he had seen it all happen and he could not hide a slight smile.

"Ma'am, you have a minute, the Broom has a situation."

She glared at him.

"Give me two minutes!", she snapped at him.

She grabbed her handbag and walked out her office to hurry to the ladies room, hoping she could restore her make up.

"And take that smile from your face!" she snapped at him again.

_Grrr, is it going to be such a day? Now, I hope nobody sees me._

Unfortunately she bumped at Captain Marshall with who she has a meeting later that morning.

"Good morning Commander White. I'm a bit early, but that's not a problem, isn't it?"

_Nooooooooo !_

"'morning captain. I'll be right back. There's a problem with one of my ships."

"Commander, you're ok? Something wrong with your face?", he asked her concerned.

"Yes, I'm fine. Definitely ! Thank you," she answered forcing a gentle smile.

"You're sure?"

_Damn, why me? I hate this. I really hate, hate, hate this ! Why must someone see me now? Was he pulling my legs or was he really worried? Anyhow, I'm going to find a victim to play a tennis game with __tonight__ to beat my frustrations away ! And I will show no mercy !_

She hurried to the ladies room.

When she left the ladies room after a vain attempt to restore her make up, she came across Chris Blake of the Hammersley.

"Ha, Petty Officer Blake, who was on special duty yesterday evening?", she asked.

_Hmm, he doesn't look that fresh. Probably he was._

"Good morning ma'am. It was me and Bom… uh Able Seaman Brown."

_How does she look like? I must force a poker face otherwise I roar with laughter. Chris think at something else!_

"You didn't have to fill him, did you?"

_I see you're looking. Don't dare to say anything. Or don't even dare to show a smile!_ _Luckily for me he's a subordinate._

"No, ma'am, just the pub. We accompanied him to his home."

"Heavy?"

"Somewhat worse than average. But I'm fine."

"Hmm."

_Liar_.

"But Brown has reported ill this morning."

"Hmm, anyhow, the party wasn't over then. At home he 'tasted' whisky."

"Ouch, I see."

"Keep on watching him. I'll manage you will at sea asap."

"Ok, ma'am."

Just a the moment she wanted to continue to walk to her desk, Swain attracted her attention.

"Ma'am, I'm a medic too. If you want I will look at you?"

She froze. She was busy to turn to Swain to snap something at him, but she stopped and turned back to the direction she wanted to go to.

_You cheeky rascal ! You're pulling my legs even better than Marshall did. No, I'm not going to stare at your smirk. I'm not going to offer you that pleasure. Oh, what I desire to be at that tennis court this evening!_

To be continued


	10. Killed in Action ch 10 Captured

Chapter 10. Captured

**Some 1850 miles to the east of Cairns.**

_I switched off the light so we had only the light of the twilight lamps. Mike sat on the couch and I had pulled on my short blue dress again and I had slipped my feet in the blue high heeled pumps, the outfit he loves. I caressed his neck and walked in front of the couch with my hands on my waist and looked at him defiantly. Then I went to sit on his lap and wrapped my arms around his neck. He kissed me. All of a sudden we were startled by a yank on the patio door. A massive man with a dark tan, a massive tuft of hair and a sweatband entered. He had a hefty, aggressive face. We were both frightened and I slit from his lap and sat close next to him. Then the gangster took a gun and fired a shot that hit Mike in his forehead. He tumbled backwards and his dead eyes stared aimlessly to the ceiling._

Kate woke up frightened and got upright immediately. A pang vibrated through her body whereby she felt backwards again on the filthy mattress. She groaned and looked frightened around and when she realised where she was she covered her face with her hands.

"No! From one nightmare to another," she wailed with a sob.

She didn't get up and all the events of the last day flashed through her mind.

…

After we left the beach Lance and I walked upwards the hill through the forest. After a while we reached the open space of the plantation. Here we paused to observe the neighbourhood.

"X, what do you think?", Lance asked.

"Too quiet to be normal," I answered.

No employees on the field and no sounds of work was heard. We approached the farm. It was quiet, too quiet to be good. Nobody came towards us to see what these two Navies were looking for. I couldn't say I felt comfortable here and I looked at Lance and could see that in his face he didn't either. So I wasn't alone.

The door of the mansion stood open. I pointed to my gun. We pulled and activated them before penetrating into the house.

I looked in the kitchen and the fridge stood still open. I checked it, but it wasn't cold anymore, so the door had been open for a while. Some had been looking for possible tasty things. All of a sudden I heard Lance exclaiming : "Oh shit." That didn't sound good and I went to see why he said that.

"Oh my God !", I spat out. This was pure horror. Both farmers, the man and his wife, were both killed with one shot. No signs of a fight were seen in the living room. Awful, this was murder. "Be careful ! Maybe they are still here," I whispered to Lance. I felt like eyes were piercing in my back, not really reassuring. I was angry at myself that I split up the group in too much teams. More manpower had been useful now. We inspected the other rooms, but could not find anything abnormal. This wasn't a robbery, but an execution. We left the house carefully and went to the outbuildings for an inspection. I was looking in a shed while Lance looked in the garage. Then I heard him asking for my attention.

"X, look at this."

I went to the garage and there he was holding up a canvas and showed me a couple of crates with AK47 machine guns and some boxes of ammunition.

"For sure these are no agricultural tools. This is one of the supply points of the guerrilla's. We will warn the CO. It's not safe here because these guys won't leave their weapons."

When we left the garage we were surrounded by a group of natives. All had that bronze skin, a wild black bunch of hair and these very rough, hefty faces. They were armed with AK47's and machetes but the most ugly were their aggressive glances. Normally I have no problems with other nationalities, but these were awful people.

"Put your guns down!" A big sturdy man with a filthy sweatband on his head gestured with a .45 gun. For sure the leader of that gang because he had no machine gun.

We put down our guns and lifted our arms.

"We are the Australian Navy and we are looking for Australian civilians. We have nothing to do with your rebellion," I said to them.

"Aussie, this is not a rebellion, but it's the revolution. You Aussies always want to belittle us," the leader with the sweatband responded fierce.

He didn't seem to be diplomatic.

"Did you kill these innocent people?", I spat back.

"Innocent?", he answered and he looked at the others. They all started laughing.

Honestly, I started feeling very uncomfortable.

"Not a single white man is innocent. You think that you can take everything that you want and then you blame us for everything that you did. These idiots took our land and our profit," he said aggressive while shaking his fist to us.

"So, you did!" I couldn't hide my disapproval.

"You arrogant Aussies! You must always have the last word, isn't it? They took our yield, they took our freedom and they wanted to stop us. So, we took revenge, we took their lives!" he exclaimed.

"_What_? You can't get away with this anymore ! An Australian warship lies here at anchor. I accuse you for murder on Australian civilians !", I shouted back.

"You stupid woman. Do I look so simple? If I let you go then we have immediately the entire Australian army here, " he shouted at me.

I felt the ground sinking under my feet. My head became bit by bit more dizzy due to my anger and fear.

"You can't keep us here. We have nothing to do with your activities," I tried to work it out.

"You are really stupid huh? And I should believe that you are not going to tell your big, famous captain what you've seen here. You know too much," he said frightening calm.

I looked with my most aggressive glance at him.

But, all of a sudden he lifted his gun at Lance and fired a heavy bullet straight in his forehead. Lance fell backwards as a bag.

"_Noooooooooooooo!_, I shrieked. Panic took over the entire possession of my body. I trembled like a leaf in an autumn storm and tears were pricking behind my eyes. I must have been as white as our white uniforms.

"No! Don't do!", I stammered.

"Take off your cloths !", he ordered me.

"_What_?", I screamed.

One of that scum hit me with the butt of his Kalashnikov in my stomach whereby I folded like a folding knife. I held my stomach and gasped. I blinked the tears of pain out of my eyes.

The leader took his gun and hit my assaulter with the barrel in his face.

"You fat head, don't damage her. She is going to be our pleasure."

"_Undress _!", he yelled at me and pointed his gun on me.

I barely succeeded in pulling out my Kevlar and my camo jacket , I was shaking so heavily

"_Everything_ !", he shouted again and pointed with his gun also in the direction of my trousers and boots.

"No !", I stammered.

But then he stepped forward and swung his right arm with the gun backwards to hit me in the face with the gun with all his force.

"I'll do, I'll do", I stammered again. I couldn't help but tears were now running down my cheeks. I started to unlace my boots.

"Get that other woman and undress her !", he ordered to other men who went to the villa.

I stood meanwhile in my underwear but I had to pull out my socks too.

_What the hell are they intending to do_? That was so humiliating. I kept my arms crossed in front of my boobs and tried not to look at the smirks of that scum around me. I felt as uncomfortable as could be.

All of a sudden he came to me and took the chain with my dog tags and pulled it over my head.

"Ah, this is really interesting!" He said while he held the chain in the air.

_Mike's ring! Oh my God! Everything, but not that!_

"_Give that back, you bastard!_", I yelled and did a grab for it but he pulled it back and gave me a slap in my face.

Meanwhile the two others had brought the body of the farmer's wife and started to pull out her dress. Then the leader took the dress and her shoes from the ground and threw them to me.

"Pull on !", he ordered me.

"Pull that uniform on that woman and burn the three bodies in the garage with oil. Take the weapons away from here," he said and he slipped the chain with the dog tag and my ring around her neck.

_This cannot be true ! Our men will think that it's me who was burned there. My God, what's waiting for me? _

My heart was bouncing in my throat and I was still trembling like I had malaria.

They tied my hands and with a bump on my back they indicated I had to follow them. I stumbled more then I went because the shoes of that woman were far too big for me.

After a while we arrived in another colonial settlement. They took me to one of the biggest houses there. My hands were untied and they pushed me in a small room. The door was locked behind me. At ease for at least a few minutes ! I looked around. A bed, a small cupboard, a chair, a wash basin and a toilet. This had been a small guest room of that farm. I checked the window. It could be opened but like almost all by these houses there bars in front of it. If it wasn't, I couldn't jump out of it without breaking something because the room was on the first floor. I stared at blank out that window.

_How can I get away? How can I reach the Hammersley?_

My thoughts were interrupted by the chief of that gang who came in.

"What are you going to do with me?", I asked him irritated.

"You are going to give us pleasure. In the ports we pay lots of money and blank women are not to find or only for white men. " He spat on the ground. "And now it's for free," he said with an awful smirk.

I couldn't believe my eyes and ears. He was really busy with fiddling on the belt of his trousers.

"_Nooooo ! Asshole !"_ I became so angry that I hit him in his face with all my power. _My goodness, was his face made of stone?_ I hurt my hand and he didn't give in.

"Aha, are we going to play it like this?", he growled.

The only thing I achieved was annoying him. He slammed the door and I was comforting my right hand. I really did not know what was to come and I became desperate.

After a few minutes he was back with two other men and a bottle of cheep whisky. He gestured to these men and to me and before I could react they forced me to sit down. While they were holding me, he forced me to drink a glass of whisky. It pricked so much in my throat that I almost choked. They forced met to drink a second one and they left.

_What are they going to do? I can't bear strong alcoholic beverages. I start already to feel dizzy._

After about 10 minutes they were back and I was forced again to drink a glass.

_I'm drunk. But I have to stop them in one way or another !_

After a few minutes he was back and started again with his trousers. I could not let this happen. I swayed to him and started slapping at him. He left and I, stupid hussy, thought it was over.

He came back again with the two men and a syringe. They took me again.

"_Nooooo!_" I screamed.

I saw how he emptied the syringe in my fore-arm.

_What is that for God's sake? I'm getting light in my head. I'm hovering, I fly…._

…

Kate opened her eyes again and started to touch nervous her body.

_Where … where is my bra? And my panties? I'm only wearing this dress !_

Panic squeezed her throat and she sat upright and felt immediately pain in her abdomen.

"No, this cannot be true ! No !" She pulled up her knees and enclosed them with her arms to create a little bit of security, but then she felt a pain in her arm.

She looked astonished to the little red point that was left by the syringe and started sobbing.

"Oh no, not me! Help ! Get me out of here ! _Mike_?" She exclaimed.

_Of course, he can't hear me. But they must be looking for me right now. This island is not that big?_

_I have an awful taste in my mouth and_, "I feel as sick as can be…", she mumbled.

All of a sudden Kate stood up, rushed to the toilet and emptied her stomach in the toilet bowl. Exhausted, she held the wash basin and opened the tap to refresh her mouth.

After that she shuffled back to the bed on which she carefully sat down to avoid the pain in her abdomen. Kate pulled up again her knees and threw a disapproving glance at the filthy mattress and started sobbing again.

"What … what is Mike … going to s…say a…about this? I'm … not … from him … any…more!"

At lunch time one of the men brought a small nap with food that she didn't touch.

During the afternoon they returned, again with a bottle.

"_No _!"

"Come on, just listen and then it's so over," one of them said and they forced her again to drink.

_No, I had better eaten something, the room turns as mad before my eyes._

_Oh No, there he is again with his syringe !_

"No, no, don't do. Pleeeaase!", she protested weak with tears in the eyes and watched in horror how the needle disappeared in her arm.

_The pain is gone. I'm hovering again. I get the urge to laugh…_


	11. Killed in Action Ch 11 Welcome on board

Chapter 11. Welcome on board

It promised to be a nice but hot day. Today the Hammersley was going to sail for the first time after the death of Kate and Lance. Charge and Swain stood at the outer bridge and were looking at the activity at the quay.

"He may have it", Charge said while pointing at Dutchy who stood at the quay with a bunch of papers in his hands. "Two functions at the same time, being the buffer and the XO."

"Yeah, it will not be easy. The X. It will be weird not to hear her voice anymore", Swain answered.

"Indeed. Can you believe that? Lieutenant-Commander. She was waiting for her promotion already for a long time. Probably would have been our CO on this or the next voyage."

"Yep, and the boss would have gone to Navcom again. Anyhow, we need another XO."

"By the way, the boss is still not here. Rather unusual for him", Charge remarked.

"Indeed, maybe he's still at Navcom."

"Hey, look at that. That guy is carrying a suit-case just like he's going on holidays on a cruise." Charge said pointing to a big officer who was walking towards the Hammersley.

"Charge, buddy, you must have your eyes checked. Have you ever seen a man with boobs? He is a she" Swain said laughing at him while tapping on his shoulder.

"Uh? Damn, you're right. It's a Lieutenant. And for us ", Charge said surprised.

"Yep, for sure our new XO. Let's welcome her", Swain said while he turns to leave the bridge.

"'morning ma'am", Dutchy said while greeting the new officer.

"I'm Lieutenant Susan Dufour. I'm the new executive officer for the Hammersley."

"Ah! That's good news ma'am, we need one", he said with a smile. "Welcome on board. I'm Dylan Mullholland, the buffer, but everyone calls me Dutchy." While he shook her hand.

He looked at her. Her dark hair was curling under her hat and he could look straight in her eyes.

_Wow, amazing woman. So big and a handshake like a man. It's the opposite with her cute face. The appearance is already the opposite than with Kate._

"Thanks. Nice to meet you. We will have to cooperate a lot together."

_Hmm, a pretty looking guy with a sense of humour. I like that._

"Sure ma'am, but the boss has not yet arrived. I'll see I'll find someone to show you your cabin", and he looked around and saw Swain and Charge arriving.

"Hey Swaino, Charge, I want to present you our new XO, Lieutenant Dufour. Can you show her to her cabin?"

"Hi ma'am, I'm Chris Blake, the coxswain and medic. I'm Swain." He said while shaking her hand.

"I'm Andy Thorpe, chief engineer, Charge."

"Nice to meet you guys."

"Follow me ma'am, I'll show you your cabin", Swain said.

Susan entered the cabin, put down her suit-case and looked around.

_So, this is it. My home for the coming months, years probably._

She smiled.

_It's bigger and newer than the one on the mine hunter. A good deal!_

_I'll unpack later today. Now we are at the point to leave. I have to be there._

Susan closed the door and was heading to the bridge, but she was interrupted by someone behind her.

"Hey you, where do you think you are you going to?", 2Dads asked suspicious.

She turned to glare at the person who seemed not to know how to ask something to an officer.

"Ow, sorry ma'am, I haven't seen your grade. Just saw a stranger on our vessel and wanted to know what he … uh she was doing here", he said surprised.

"I'm the new XO Leader, Lieutenant Dufour, and you are?"

"I'm 2Dads, uh, Leo, Leo Kosov-Meyer, ma'am."

"All right, … 2Dads, carry on."

He looked how she walked to the bridge.

_Gosh, I almost screwed up with the new XO! Wow, what a body! Hmm, should she have a sense of humor?_

One hour later Mike arrived and made an unusual acquaintance with his new XO.

He entered the vessel with a sports bag in his hand and was wool-gathering. He turned around the corner and bumped into Susan who had her hands full with papers and files so that the whole bunch landed on the floor.

"Well, goddamn, can't you see where you run?", she exclaimed irritated.

Mike was all of a sudden awake.

"Oh, I'm sorry", he stammered and he bent to pick up together with her the papers.

Then she realised who she had given a dressing-down.

"Oh, sorry sir, I didn't saw you coming."

He stood upright again and offered her the hand. "Never mind X, I had to be awake. Welcome on board by the way. You've found your way already I noticed."

"Thank you sir. You're right the paperwork always find me. By the way, you know that we sail at 1400 Hr?"

"Yeah, I do."

Mike stood at the outer bridge and was catching up the sun. His glance swept over the river bank, the river towards the base and finally he looked at the crew loading the supplies on board. Next to the classic supplies there were also extra crates with aid goods that they have to deliver on one of the islands. A heavy storm has devastated a lot there and some villages have to be rebuilt. Without that he realised it, he was looking at one person in particular, the X. She had pulled out her camouflage jacket and was working together with the crew in their grey t-shirt to bring it all on board. From where he stood he could hair her loud voice when she dunned the men.

_Hmm, Susan knows to get into work and it seems she can handle the men. Look at that startled face of Dutchy. He looks like she's taken his job away. What a difference with Kate. She should have supervised this action while Susan works together with them. I never heard Kate shouting, but she? Just like a drill sergeant. Not for nothing that her nick name is bull._

Later when the cargo was on board, Susan refreshed herself a bit and went to the bridge.

"Sir, all cargo is loaded. We're ready to leave."

Mike nodded.

Swain looked at the boss, then at the X. She noticed his glance. Nothing happened. She looked at Dutchy who shrugged barely seen.

Mike was looking through the wind screen to the buildings of the base.

"Boss? We are past 1400 Hr. Are we waiting for something to leave?"

"Uh? No. X, bring her out", he said and he went out.

She looked at bit surprised at Mike who was leaving the bridge.

"Copy that sir." She took the microphone. "Quarterdeck team, prepare the tows."

The next day she wandered after her watch through the corridor and stopped at the mess of the crew. The radio was playing and several crew members were busy with all kind of things. Some were playing cards, others were reading a magazine and some were chatting. She was looking amused to the cosy scene.

Bomber has noticed her. "Hey X, you like a brew?" .

"Yeah, why not?" She was glad to accept the offer. Having a supper with a gloomy commander was not so cheering up.

Bomber offered her a mug and she took place next to Dutchy who shifted.

"X, you feel already home after these two days?", Swain asked.

She leaned backwards, enjoying her coffee. "Yeah, indeed, not that much difference than on the mine hunters. Only the nature of the job is a bit different. "

"Indeed, we haven't encountered a FFV yet. That's always a surprise. You'll never know what you will find on board", Dutchy added.

"Hmm, interesting."

She took a sip.

"What have you been on the mine hunters?", Bird asked.

"Just like here, executive officer.

By the way, it must have quite a change for the boss. First his girlfriend who died and his XO who left at the same time."

Nobody said anything and Susan felt the silence.

"Hey guys, did I say something wrong?"

Bomber was the first to reply. "X, you really don't know?"

"What do I have to know?", Susan replied with a questioning glance.

"The X was the girlfriend of the boss", Dutchy answered.

"_What_? _Do you really mean that?",_ Susan exclaimed.

"Unfortunately it is. Didn't Commander White say anything to you?", Swain replied.

"No she didn't tell me anything. His girlfriend was killed in action and I had to take over the function of the XO."

"Probably, she didn't tell you because this was a violation of the non-fraternisation rules. She probably would have thought that you should hear it quick enough here on board", Dutchy filled in.

"And the boss proposed her", Bomber added.

"No? My God, poor bastard", Susan said softly. "Now I start to understand the whole situation. Pfft, nice present for me to take over this. "

"That's the Navy, what you need to know they don't tell", Swain said.

Susan got herself another brew and chatted with the men. Afterwards she left to her cabin to think over the whole case since she met Mike for the first time at Commander White's office. She pulled out her jacket and plopped on her chair. She pulled out her boots and socks and put her feet on her desk.

_Falling in love with your executive officer. If it matches, why not? But then you can't do anything together. Even on shore in such a small town. You can't afford even to be seen in the supermarket together. When he finally dares to propose her, she dies. What a mess ! _

_I know exactly how he feels._

…

_He's not very talkative. Tomorrow we have the welfare mission at that island and he didn't tell me about the operation yet. That's not really handy. I'll see him right now, because I must know something._

She swung her legs from the desk and stepped outside. There she realised she was on her bare feet and shrugged.

_I don't care. They have to get used to it._

She knocked his door and heard a faint 'come in'.

She entered and closed the door. He was reading a book and on his desk stood a glass with an amber liquid.

_Is that really ice tea?_

"Sir, I wanted to run through the operation for tomorrow" she said.

He looked at her and noticed her bare feet.

_Kate never did that. She was more formal._

"Hmm, X, You wanna drink a glass with me?" And he opened his cupboard and reached to a glass and the bottle.

_My god, he has drunk already more than one. If this comes out, it will cost his neck._

"Boss, what you doing? This doesn't come right, you know."

"Come on Susan, a few tastes is not that bad?", he muttered.

"Boss, yes it is. We don't drink on board. This can cost you your career, you know."

"I …. I don't care anymore. You drink with me? "

"Boss, no! You can not find the answer or a relief at the bottom of a bottle", she argued with him."

"It's so hard. I miss her. Especially now, between these fucking walls."

"Boss, you have to think to the 21 sailors too. If you are drunk you spoil their lives too", she said fierce.

"Pfft, you're there. You can take care of them. "

"No boss, you're the captain. And you know what? Tomorrow we have an operation and then you must be awake. Come, lay down on you rack and have a good sleep."

"Hmm?"

She managed to get him on his rack.

"And give me all your damn bottles. I'll let them disappear, because I don't want someone of the crew sees them."

"But…"

"No but's."

She looked in his cupboard and found two more bottles. From his bathroom she took a towel and wrapped it around the bottles and went out, but just she closed the door she heard him mumbling.

"Susan, you're like Kate. She would have done the same…."

"That's ok now. Get some sleep", she whispered and closed the door.

Outside she hurried to the deck, looked quickly around and threw both bottles in the sea. Then she returned to her cabin. Inside she leaned against the door and sighed.

_My God, that's promising for tomorrow. I still know nothing. Damn, tomorrow we will have probably a view without sound and the whole operation will then rely on Dutchy and me again. Great !_

_Hopefully nothing will happen tonight , otherwise I can't keep this secret._

_If this is going to be continued, it will be a hard task for you Susy to keep this barge together._

_And now a shower! I need it!_

**Espiritu Santo**

Kate woke up. She looked around and moaned.

_Oh God, It's reality. I hoped to see the bottom of the rack above me or the ceiling of my bedroom or Mike's._

She went to sit upright, pulled up her knees, wrapped her arms around them and covered her face behind them. She started crying.

_I feel dirty and filthy. I'm disgusted with myself. My head is splitting and I feel sick. My abdomen hurts. I … feel … awful. _

"What have I done wrong?", she sobbed.

"Why can't I have a bit of luck? Whole my life I'm struggling. Quarrels between mum and dad. Mother who was most of the time drunk here. Then all these assholes that she allowed her in her bedroom. How many times did I lock myself up in my room for that scum? I did all the housekeeping. I was a real Cinderella with the difference that Cinderella could go to a party! Why didn't the other students at ADFA like me? Why did they pester me? Mike, why did you leave me once? Now that he finally proposed me, this!", she wailed.

_How many days am I here already? I lost all sense of time!_

"Mike, where are you?

I want to be with you. I miss you so.

I want to sit on you lap again in the living room and put my head on your shoulder.

_Please_, get me out of here !", Kate whispered.

During the afternoon she looked at her hands. They were slightly trembling.

_How does that come? My hands never tremble! And I feel an urge for something. Strange. This cannot be true, no?_

Towards evening the guerrillas appeared back.

"Ah woman? Thirsty? A trip?" They laughed horribly. Kate could do nothing else than getting drunk and stoned.


	12. Killed in Action Ch 12 The first patrol

Chapter 12. The first patrol

The next day they arrived at Pavuvu island.

Mike stood at the outside of the bridge and was looking dreamy at the shore line.

"Sir, do we enter the harbour? I checked the depth there, we can easily enter", Susan asked him but there came no response.

"Sir?"

_Damn, I was already afraid of that._

She tapped slightly his shoulder.

"Sir, do we enter?"

Mike woke up. "Uh? Yes. Yes, ok, go for it", he hurried to say.

"Thank you sir", she said and went inside.

"Swain, slow ahead, direction harbour."

"Ay ma'am, slow ahead, direction harbour", Swain replied.

She took the microphone.

"Mooring team, prepare tows."

For one reason or another she went out to look downstairs and saw 2Dads and Harpie chatting.

"_Hey, are you deaf or what? Move_!", she yelled to them.

They were visibly startled and hurried to their job.

Susan went back inside and looked a bit surprised to see all of them looking at her, including Mike.

"They have to listen, don't you think?", she said dryly.

Mike rubbed his cheek while looking at her.

_Hmm, quite a different style than Kate, but it works. A bosun couldn't do better._

The Hammerslay was safely moored and they started discharging crates with reconstruction material to rebuild the village. Charge was handling the crane, Dutchy stood at the gangway and the X was supervising the action. All of a sudden one of the cables broke and a crate slipped down, pulling some other boxes with it so that everything got stuck firmly.

Luckily everyone stood at a safe distance so that nobody got hurt.

"Come on, 2Dads, Harpie, Wellington, pull away these boxes", Dutchy ordered.

After some efforts 2Dads shook his head. "Nope, impossible."

"I beg your pardon?", replied Susan who came nearer.

"Ma'am, impossible, these boxes are stuck."

"2Dads, impossible is not English, come on man", she said frowning.

"Ma'am, it doesn't work", he tried to get away.

Susan got clearly irritated. "Listen mate, we will make a deal. If a faint woman like me can move this box, then I'll make you a nice chores list. If not, then I will agree with you."

"Faint woman?", Swain mumbled to RO with a grin who was overlooking the scene as well from the outer bridge.

Susan pulled out her camo jacket, pulled on some gloves and put her hands under the box. With a groan she put all her forces against it. Everyone looked amused at her efforts. How could a woman move a box that could not be done by a man?

But the box trembled a bit and it shoved and finally it moved. All of them were startled.

"Here you go. Anyone who can do better?", she said provocative.

"I do", said Dutchy, stepping forward, feeling embarrassed that she did it instead of him.

"Me too", Harpie followed.

"Uh, me also", admitted 2Dads.

Mike who had observed the whole scene made a thoughtful face and scratched in his hair. He looked at Swain and RO. "Hmm, you do know it now huh?"

Afterwards when the crates and boxes were unloaded Susan went to 2Dads.

"2Dads."

"Ma'am?", he replied turning towards her.

"This afternoon in my cabin. I'll have a nice to do list for you. You lost the game mate", she said with a grin.

"Yes ma'am", he said sheepish.

He looked at her when she walked away.

_Pfft, man, a female bosun in an officer's skin, Gosh! Why me?_

A few days later they finished the welfare job and were patrolling in the Coral Sea. During the afternoon an echo of a FFV appeared on the radar.

"Sir, we have an FFV spot on the radar at position 2-5-7", Susan announced.

"Right, let's have a look", Mike answered.

Susan took the microphone and announced : "Hands to the boarding stations. Hands to the boarding stations."

She and Dutchy left the bridge and went to the armoury for their guns. There they were joined by Harpie, 2Dads and Bomber.

The FFV was a rusty craft that smelled from miles away. The boat didn't stop and the RHIB moved quickly along side.

"Gosh, what's that for a smell?", Susan asked, making a face.

"Snails. These are the worst", Bomber answered showing one of her painful faces.

"Is it?"

"Sorry X, your first FFV is just such a one."

Harpie manoeuvred just next to the boat and they prepared to jump on board. Susan grabbed the side and jumped on board leaving Dutchy startled behind. The others followed her immediately.

She pulled her gun and swayed in the direction of the laconic Asian crew .

"This is an Australian warship! Everybody on the ground! Who's the master of this vessel?", she yelled with one breath. Dutchy worked himself forward, but Susan stepped closer to the cabin, but then a sturdier man with rough wild black hair came form behind the corner and swung a baseball bat in the direction of Susan's head.

"_Susan! Watch!_", Duchy yelled.

She noticed the swing from the side and turned her body a quarter and the stick missed her but just grazed her left upper arm. She groaned and due to the smash she had her gun dropped. But the man had put all his force in the swing so that he lost time to make a new swing. She pulled her right arm back and swung it forward and hit the man straight on his lower jaw, knocking him out. He felt like a bag potatoes on deck and didn't move anymore.

Susan took a few deep breaths and comforted her right hand, but she couched due to the smell.

"X, you're ok?", asked Dutchy surprised. He still couldn't believe his eyes what he just saw. She knocked a big man down just like he would have done.

_Jesus, you'd better don't have a quarrel with her!_

"Yeah… Yeah", she made a face when she started feeling her left upper arm. "Stop this damn boat! 2Dads, Bomber, check downstairs, but _careful_!", she snapped.

"Right! Again. Who's the master of this boat?", she asked again the sailors firmly.

One of them pointed to the man on the ground. Meanwhile Dutchy stopped the boat and she heard that 2Dads was calling her.

"X, Bingo! Full load. Come and have a look."

"Coming!", she yelled back.

She went down but regretted that immediately. The smell of the rotten snails was awful. She gasped for air.

"X-Ray to Charlie A1. What's the situation?" The voice of Mike sounded in their headphones.

She took that opportunity to get out quickly.

"Charlie A1. Plenty with snails. Illegally fished", she replied huskily.

"All right, I'll send a crew to bring that vessel to the nearest port."

"X, I want to look at your arm", Bomber said who had followed her.

"It's ok, it will be a big bruise, but that will pass, thank you."

"Gosh, Mike send that crew quickly, I want to be of this boat." She mumbled.

A few minutes later they were back at the Hammersley at the armoury. When she gave her gun back to Dutchy who put it back in the rack she said. "Dutchy, I almost forget, thank you for saving my life."

"No problem X, but can I say something?" He motioned with his eyes to indicate her that the others must have left before saying something.

"Yeah, sure", she replied with a short nod.

"X, normally with a boarding it's me who jumps first. You come in second line."

"Yeah, but an officer has to give the example."

"I know, but here it's different. You are more valuable in second line. Your place is there for commanding."

Sweat pearls appeared on her forehead. Dutchy noticed it too and noticed she got ash grey. "X, you ok?", he asked concerned.

"Yeah, you're ri.. Fmmbl…" She put a hand to her mouth, pushed him aside and rushed outside to throw her lunch back in the sea.

He went after her and comforted her by putting his hand on her back.

Afterwards she gasped for air.

"You're ok?"

"Gosh, that bloody smell had made me as sick as possible. I hope they are all not like that?"

"Snails are the worst. Sharks are also bad, but it's another smell."

"Great, that's promising. I think I will become best friends with the railing here."

**Espiritu Santo**

Kate sat apathetic on the bed and stared blankly to the wall. Tears were running down her cheeks.

"Mike, I miss you. Where are you staying? Dutchy, 2Dads, Bomber, guys, get me out of here, _Please_!", she cried faint.

…

_Everything hurts, I feel wretched._

_I vomit almost every day and my head bursts._

_I feel so dirty, so humiliated._

…

_How long is this going to take?_

_I'm already addicted to that stuff. I feel it. By evening I would do everything to get an injection. Awful!_

_What the hell am I doing?_

_I never thought that my career would run like this._

…

_I wished so much to marry Mike and to start a family._

_When I'm coming home I can't look him anymore in the eyes. I became a junk and a hooker. _

…

_If I ever come home?_

…

_I wished I was dead…_


	13. Killed in Action Ch 13 Troubles

Chapter 13. Troubles

A classic scene. At the end of the day several sailors went to the quarterdeck to enjoy the sunset. It was at such a moment that Swain met Dutchy and Bomber.

"Hey", he greeted them.

"Swaino", Dutchy mumbled.

"What do you think of our new XO?", Bomber asked him.

"She's ok. She's wearing her heart on her sleeve and she performs two jobs, being XO and being CO as well, because the boss is still not what he was before Kate's death. She's literally whispering what he has to do", Swain answered.

"That's right. She's holding her hand above his head", Dutchy admitted.

"What do you mean?", Bomber asked him frowning.

"Well on one of our first evenings of this patrol, I was outside and I saw her coming out on her bare feet. She looked around like she wanted to be sure nobody saw her, but I stood in the shadow. She had a towel with something in under her arm. Then she threw three bottles in the sea. And I don't think it were bottles with a paper message. So I have a very strong feeling where they came from."

"Indeed, the boss may be lucky to have her. Kate would have done the same", Bomber replied.

"For that yes, but they are two different characters. Susan doesn't hesitate to put up a big mouth", Swain added.

"Yeah, but on the other side she's always at the first line to help. Remember the last boarding of that FFV, she was the first to rush in and she bumped into that fisherman who wanted to assault her. I told her afterwards that she has to come in second line", Dutchy told.

"Indeed, she's too enthusiastic. One day it will turn out bad for her, but I don't hope that. She's a good officer", Swain concluded.

The Hammersley moored the next day in the late afternoon at Honiara at Guadalcanal. The following day they would head back to base.

Mike took the microphone.

"To all personal. Shore leave from 1800 Hr to 2400 Hr". He closed the circuit and looked at Susan who nodded. 'A good idea boss' he could read from her glance.

Charge came towards them. "Boss, X, you joining us for a drink? I know a very subtle place here and their cocktails are splendid.

"No thanks Charge, I still have some work to do", Mike answered him.

"Yeah, I have some reports to finish too, but I'll come after", Susan said.

"Ah, great, see you there. You will not regret it", Charge answered with a smile.

In the officers' mess Susan closed the last file with a smile and put it on the pile next to her.

_Finished. And now a break. Having some fun with the guys. I'm looking forward to it._

In her cabin she took a shower did some make up and took a blue dress with small red flashes from out her cupboard and slipped her feet in high heeled pumps. She left her cabin with her handbag and stopped in front of Mike's. She knocked on the door.

"Yeah, come in."

_Hmm, this sounds a lot better._

Susan opened the door and entered.

"Boss, can I convince you to come also to the pub?", she asked.

Mike threw a quick look at her and widened his eyes. He opened his mouth to say something but there was no sound.

_Come on Mike, you've never seen a woman before?_

"Something wrong boss? Is my hair not ok?"

"Uh? Yes, yes, of course. It's … it's that I … haven't seen you like … this. You're beautiful", He stammered.

"Thank you. But, are you coming with us? A distraction will be good for you", she insisted slightly.

"Thanks for the offer, but I'm not in the mood tonight, maybe another time", he answered with a smile, slightly shaking his head.

"By the way, it was a very good idea to give the crew shore leave. The loss of their two crew mates left an impression on them. I noticed it to the fact that a certain cheerfulness is missing which I expect to see. Besides I see often groups of two, three people quietly talking to each other and they stop when they see me coming."

Mike nodded. "Yeah, we were a good team and there was also no time to process it. And then that awkward situation that there was no recognition for the casualties."

"Indeed, a bit of distraction like tonight will do miracles. You're sure about your decision?", she asked with one of her cutest smiles.

"Yeah X, I'm sure."

"All right, see you tomorrow."

She went off the gangway and headed to that location. She knew it, because she had been there before with the crew of the mine hunter. It seemed that each crew had its specific location, but after all these locations were for all crews the same. Susan smiled with these thoughts when she walked through the streets. She reached the location, it was the bar of a hotel for mainly western tourists. A habit of her was to throw a glance at the environment to check out possible situations. Dimmed light, a dance floor, a piano, not too much guests, mainly on the tables and the bar with bar stools. Her crew stood and sat at the bar.

_A clean situation._

She walked towards the men and was wondering why they didn't recognise her. Her heels made a hell of a noise on that floor and some of them already looked in her direction without seeing her.

She tapped on Swain's shoulder who stood between RO, 2Dads and Dutchy.

"Hey guys, you don't recognise people anymore?"

"X ! You ! We didn't recognise you", Swain said.

'Yeah, I just made a remark about the wonderful woman who just entered", 2Dads added with his classic smirk.

"We didn't expect you like this ma'am", RO said.

"Guys, I'm still a woman, may I?"

"Yes, sure. You look pretty good. The fact is that we haven't seen you in civvies yet", Dutchy added.

Susan nodded. "Yeah, that's true. After weeks in boots, t-shirt and trousers, I wanted to wear something else."

"X, a Guava Mojo?", Charge was holding a glass for her.

"Thanks."

"By the way, X, your name Dufour, that sounds French, isn't it?", Bomber asked.

"Yeah, indeed, my great-grandfather was French. He worked for a shipping agency at Le Havre. They did mainly business with England, so he spoke very good English. During the First World War he became a liaison officer between the French and the Australian forces. He got wounded during the battle in Villers-Bretonneux on 24 April 1918 and he was transferred to an Australian field hospital. There he was cared by a nurse, Elisabeth, who became his girl friend. After the war they both returned to Australia .

So, that means I still have some French blood in my veins", she said with a grin.

"That will declare your heavy temperament", 2Dads replied.

"I haven't heard that", Susan grumbled.

"Sorry guys, will you excuse me a second?", she said and headed to the ladies room.

On her way, someone of the guests in the bar went to her and put his arm around her shoulders."

"Dolly, do you want to have a drink from me?", he asked her.

Dutchy and 2Dads noticed immediately what was going to happen and they started to walk towards her but all of a sudden they stopped because they saw the reaction of their X.

Susan turned quickly to that man who was almost the same length as her. With both hands she took the collar of his shirt and lifted it, then she pushed him hard against the nearest wall.

"Listen rascal, keep your filthy fingers from my body, otherwise I'll smash your head as a ripe tomato. Understood? Now, you go nice back to your basket."

She released him and continued to the ladies room. The man straightened his shirt, glared at her and returned to his table.

A few minutes later she was back in the group.

"Hmm X, you ignore your French heavy temper?", 2Dads started.

"Shut up, and drink your glass, will you", She snapped at him.

"X, don't you think you have to be more prudent in these cases? These guys are unreliable", Dutchy said prudent.

"Prudent? Not a single hair on my head thinks about it. A couple of blows on their faces if they dare something. I'll make my own choices of men", she answered him.

Meanwhile someone has taken place behind the piano and started playing, mainly dance music.

"Hey guys, they are playing dance music. It's a quick-step. Is there anyone who can dance?", she asked while looking around.

Nobody seemed to answer.

"Come on, nobody? And you Swain? You're married."

"Uh, X, we can't", he said uncomfortable.

"And the boss?", she asked.

"Especially he not", Bomber answered. "Once we saw him dancing with a French captain and I'm convinced she still feels her painful toes."

"Uh X, I can", Harpie said unsure.

"Yes? Great. Come, let's try out this floor", she said to him.

The crew looked amused to an unknown talent of their pal.

Afterwards when they joined the bar again he was overloaded with comments.

"Harpie, we didn't know you could dance", Charge said.

"You never asked it", he replied plain.

"When did you learn that?", Bird asked.

"When I had shore leave, I took lessons."

"X, with who did you learn to dance?", Bomber asked.

"With Richard, my husband."

"Oh, I didn't know you were married?"

"No, not anymore", she said dull.

"How come?"

"Not now, will you?", Susan answered fierce, but Bomber had the idea to see a sad glance over her face.

"Come on, Harpie, now he's playing something else. Show us something."

"Hmm, that's an English waltz, no problem. X?"

"That's only a word Harpie ! Always available for dancing", she replied with a smile.

Two hours, a few dances and drinks later.

"Guys, I'm going to stop here. I go back to the Hammersley. See you", Susan announced to the others.

"Right till tomorrow", they answered and they ordered another drink.

The next day, early in the morning, Dutchy knocked the door of Mike's cabin.

"Yeah, what's up?" He sounded a bit irritated by the early call when he opened the door.

"Boss, we have a situation."

"What's the matter?" All of a sudden he was awake.

"The X sir, she's not back yet", he said concerned.

"Oh no, not again ! And when did you last see her?", he grumbled painfully.

"Yesterday night in the bar. She said she went back to the boat."

"And she left alone?", Mike asked suspiciously.

"Uh, yes."

"Damn! How often I have said to watch each others back! Especially a woman. Especially her last night. She was for sure the prettiest woman in the city", Mike said angrily.

"Sorry sir, I think it just overcame us."

Mike sighed.

"Right. Call the police office, maybe they know something."

"Aye sir."

Somewhat later, after a phone call with the local police station. Mike has gone as quick as he could to the bridge after he had known about Susan.

"Sir, at the police station they say they have a woman in custody who resembles at our X. She pretends to be an Australian Navy officer", Dutchy announced to Mike.

"Yeah, thank God, that must be her. I may not think to the fact that I had to explain how I lost another female XO. Right, Dutchy, Swain, you both go to the police office to pick up our XO."

"What do you think?", Swain asked Dutchy while they were under way to the police office.

"I'm holding my heart. You've seen what she did when that guy wrapped his arm around her shoulders. God and she only know what she will do if that kind of guys goes a little further."

"Yeah, knowing her nature I hope these police officers are still alive."

At the police office they could barely hide a grin because the sergeant behind the desk had a perfect blue eye.

"You see what I mean?", Swain whispered to Dutchy.

"Hi, you have one of our people in custody?", Dutchy addressed to the sergeant.

"Ah, finally, if she's really one of your boat, please take that witch as quick as possible with you. Follow me, I'll show her", the sergeant sounded angry and relieved at the same moment.

In a corridor of the office he opened a small window of a cell door.

"Is she yours?", he asked.

Dutchy glanced inside and saw Susan sitting on a rack with her back against the wall. She has laid her legs on it and sat with crossed arms. He could see that she was still fuming.

"Yes, she's from our crew."

"Okay, I'll release her and take her with you and don't come back again !"

He opened the cell door.

"Good morning X", Swain tried, but he got interrupted.

"Ah ! Finally you're there ! Man, that took hours ! I started thinking that these monkeys have put me on the inventory of the furniture of this damn police office", she snapped angrily.

The police sergeant wanted to react on the insult, but he didn't get to there.

"Don't dare to say anything, you idiot, otherwise I'll close your other eye", she shouted at him.

Swain gave her a slight touch on her shoulder to usher her out of the office before things got worse. Both men couldn't hide their smirk.

Outside they could have a better look at her. A blue eye, a cut lip and probably a blood nose and some bruises all over. Her dress was torn on the shoulder so that her bra was visible and there was a large tear at the lower part of the dress. She was limping because one pump was missing.

"X, when we're on board, I'll have a look at your injuries", Swain said.

Susan grumbled something in reply.

"What happened?", Dutchy asked.

"When I left the bar, I was walking back to the boat when two men made me an indecent proposal. I chased them away, but they came too close and started touching. I got angry and hit them. Then they got assistance from a third. Finally the police turned up and you know what? These stupid creatures pretended that I had assaulted these men", She said fierce when she looked at them two.

"What happened then?", Dutchy asked.

"He wanted me to lock up, so I tried to convince him, but it didn't work."

Dutchy and Swain started laughing. "Yeah we saw your persuasiveness and we believe that it didn't work well."

"And what happened with the three others?", Swain asked.

"They are in the hospital", she said plain.

"_What?",_ he exclaimed startled.

"Yeah, I knocked these three thoroughbred idiots in the hospital. Is it that weird?"

"You alone?", Dutchy sounded surprised.

"Yeah, what do you think, I didn't see any Hammersley guy in the neighbourhood", she answered still angrily.

"Hmm, we'd better avoid future discussions with you otherwise it will not come right", Dutchy said soft.

All three continued in silence, and when they could see the Hammersley Swain whispered something to Dutchy.

"I hope 2Dads is not watching us boarding."

Unfortunately it was 2Dads who almost bumped into Susan as first.

"X, I see you've had an exciting night after you've left the bar?", he said widening his eyes.

But before Dutchy or Swain could say anything she grabbed him by his collar and stuck him against the wall.

"Listen Kosov-Meyer, _one_ word, _one_ breath from you again and I'll use you to sweep mines, understood?"

"Yes ma'am", he stammered rubbing with his hand over his head.

Mike saw it all happen from the bridge and felt a big relief to see his new XO back on board and it looked like she didn't loose some of her temperament.

_I must see her, I need to know how she is !_

At the ward he waited until Swain was ready. She left the ward gloomy with the only pump in her hand and a face as a thundercloud.

"X, how are you?", Mike asked.

"_Bad!_ I never felt so _awful_ in my life!", she snapped to him while she passed.

Mike looked after her.

_Ouch, that was close. I don't know if she was at the point to hit me or to burst out in tears._

He turned to look at Swain who stood in the doorway and Mike mouthed how she was.

Swain motioned with his head to come inside.

"Sir, it's ok, no …"

Both men pulled their head in when a loud smack echoed in the corridor as Susan slapped her cabin door.

"I said, no serious injuries. A cut lip, a blood nose, bruises and nice blue eye. Tomorrow she will feel better already."

"Ok, thanks Swaino", he said while he tapped the other one on his shoulder.

Susan smashed her door and leaned with closed eyes against it.

She sighed.

"Why me? What have I done wrong? May I never have fun without paying the bill afterwards?", she mumbled sad.

She realised she was still holding her pump.

"What the hell can I do with one?", she said angrily and smashed the pump in the bin. She pulled out the ruined dress and sent it after the pump. Next she undressed her and went to the bathroom to take a long shower, but she groaned when the soap hit the fresh wound of her lip.

Mike went back to the bridge and took the microphone.

"To all personal. I'll make a small announcement at the quarterdeck, now!"

A few minutes later everyone stood on the quarterdeck, except for the XO.

"Listen up. I want to come back on the situation of our XO. The fact that you have left her to leave alone is unacceptable. I've always ordered that you have to watch each others back, especially in a foreign port and especially for the woman among us. You didn't and see what has happened. It's thanks to the power and the solid frame of our X that she's still among us. We are also lucky that she's mentally and physically ok. I wouldn't have liked it to loose another XO. Moreover we've always been a family and is that the welcome to a new colleague?

I repeat. This may not happen again! Watch each others back. That's an order. Dismiss."

"Aye sir", the others answered.

Mike left the quarterdeck went inside and knocked Susan's door.

She opened the door and faced Mike.

"Please come in."

"I wanted to see how you're doing. I'm happy you're back. I can't imagine to lose an XO again", he started prudent.

"Sir, as you can see, Cinderella is back home. Camo pants and grey t-shirt. Nothing will happen now", she said sad. Then she pointed with her thumb to the bin.

"I Just put 225 dollars in the bin there. I have to get used to it I guess?"

Mike nodded. "I understand. How are you now? And your injuries?"

"A good shower performed a miracle, but my eye is the most painful, but that will pass also. Thank you for asking."

"I want to apologise. I let you go alone to that bar. I'm dealing in the mistake of the crew as well", he said.

"It's ok boss. There are things that are much worse. Sorry, I heard there was a call for the whole crew, but I didn't made it."

"Never mind X. It was not intended for you. I'll see you at the bridge whenever you're ready for it? We return to Cairns."

"Yeah, I'll be there within a couple of minutes. A couple of bruises will not keep me here."

Mike was halfway through the door when he stopped suddenly and poked his head back inside.

"Susan, is it true that you knocked three guys into the hospital?"

She started laughing. "The rumours go quickly here, isn't it. Yes, I did. They will think twice the next time."

"Hmm, I think I'll better ask you out for diner instead of fighting with you" he said with a smile.

"You know boss, the whole situation has in fact one positive point."

"What?"

"I just saw you smiling. I never saw it since I came on board."

That evening Susan went earlier to her cabin to get some rest. While she was reading a bit there was a knock on the door.

"Come in", she said putting her book aside.

Bomber opened the door and Swain came after her.

"X, we want to apologise for the situation of yesterday night. It happened without we realised something was going wrong. The boss had right. We had to pay more attention", she said.

Susan nodded.

_Hmm, that was the subject of the speech at the quarterdeck._

"It's a pity the evening ended like that and we thought that we could organise an envelope so that you'll get a bit reimbursed for the damage…"

Bomber offered a white envelope to Susan.

"Uh, that's ok, such things can happen. Don't worry about that. But it was not the intention that you collected something", Susan answered.

"We know, but just accept it, will you?", Susan looked at the sad glance of Bomber's face and could only accept the envelope.

"Thanks, guys, thanks a lot. Will you pass it to the others?", she said softly.

"Yeah, we will do. Come Bomber", Swain took over the conversation and ushered he gently to the door.

After Swain has closed the door, Susan looked from the door to the envelope she was holding in her hand. It felt like it burned in her hand.

They are so different than on the mine hunter. Her they stick more together. I like it.

She opened the envelope slowly, like she was afraid to see what was in.

_Do they want I'm getting shy? This is more than I just put in the bin ! Susy, I think you're blushing right now!_

_This will be fun on the next shore leave !_

She put the envelope in her handbag in her cupboard, sat down again and took her book. She tried to read, but realised all of a sudden that she was still looking at the same page without reading it. She sighed and laid it back.

_No, I need some fresh air. I really need to process all this._

Susan left her cabin to go to the quarterdeck.


	14. Killed in Action Ch 14 Return from patro

Chapter 14 Return from Patrol

**Cairns**

The Hammersley docked after the first patrol without Kate. Reports about actions and situations were brought to Navcom. The majority of the crew had shore leave, but the two officers were once more busy with administration.

Susan had herself installed in the mess and was surrounded with papers. Mike poked his head inside.

"X?"

She lifted her head. "Hmm?"

"I'm going to Navcom to report about the welfare action."

"Ok, that's a good opportunity to go with you to hear where our two men from that FFV are. Otherwise I'll keep on busy here."

She stood up and grabbed her hat from her cabin and followed him.

"How did you experience your first patrol?" He asked underway to the Navcom building.

"Good. Apart from the snails. I'm wondering if I'll ever get used to it. Besides that, you have a splendid crew, just family."

"As a matter of fact, it is family. It's more family than your real family. And what concerns the snails, you'll get used to it. Believe me. How's your eye?"

"It doesn't hurt anymore, but I'm afraid I'm actually not a photo model?", she answered with a grin.

He chuckled. "No, not exactly."

"And your arm? I understood you were a tad too enthusiastic", he looked at her.

"What do you think? A big blue bruise. I'll have to watch out what I will wear during my leave otherwise they will think I've got some blows from my husband. If the other patrols continue like this one, I'll end up in a hospital", she answered with a grimace.

"Hmm, I don't want to encounter the man who's capable of giving you blows", Mike said making a face.

Susan looked at him not knowing how she has to interpret that.

They reached Navcom and Mike headed to Maxine's desk while Susan looked to get info about her men.

He knocked on the door and entered.

"Hey Max, you've seen the reports?"

"Hi, Mike! Yeah, just read them. We can't do more, can we?"

"Nope", he said while he sat down.

"But, there's something more delicate about which I wanted to talk to you", Maxine said quiet.

He sat down and put his files on her desk.

"Mike, I know it's difficult, also for me, to say this. But, the house of Kate can't be kept. The owner was already ringing my bell. You see what I mean?" She looked careful at him.

Mike nodded. "You're right. I was already afraid for that, but it's logic. I can't keep it for ever," he said faint.

"Listen, you don't have to do this alone. I'll be there and ask for help from your some of your men."

Mike looked thoughtful and nodded slowly.

"Yeah, I know who to ask."

"Fine, we go together and ask the others to come a bit later."

"Uh, why?"

"Don't worry. Tomorrow it will be clear to you. 0930Hr?"

"Yeah, I'll pick you up."

"Great. Ok, but then I'll have some admin to do before tomorrow. See you."

"Ok Mike."

He took his file, but was so confused and busy with the idea of emptying Kate's house that he didn't notice that he lifted Maxine's cup of coffee so that its content flushed over the desk and her trousers.

"_Mike! What the hell are you doing?_", she shouted, jumping upright and looked at the giant brown spot on her thigh.

"Ouch, sorry Max. Uh, give me the trousers tomorrow, I'll put it in the washing machine."

She sighed. "I prefer to do that myself. I know your capabilities of ironing!"

"Hmm, is it that bad?", he replied with risen eyebrows.

"Yes", she said plain.

"Hmm. Yeah, I'll go now." And Mike hurried out of her office.

Maxine watched how he walked out and how he didn't notice all activity of the operation room around him. He was just busy with the fact he ruined her trousers and about Kate's house.

She shook her head.

_Poor bastard, he's still not over it yet. And clumsy! My God. God beware Kate. … Oh dear. Kate is no more…_

She looked at her trousers again and her desk and shook her head again. She grabbed a couple of tissues and started to pat the coffee on her desk. Then she grabbed her cup and made a face.

_Empty. Damn. I need another one._

She left her office with the cup and tried to ignore how the others looked at the big spot on her trousers.

_Damn, now even that again._

A few minutes later she walked back spooning the milk in her coffee.

_All these bloody reports are fine, but not a single one tells me how Mike was during the patrol. _

Maxine saw Susan talking to someone of the transport section.

_Hmm, but she can tell._

"Lieutenant, you have a minute?", she asked her.

Susan turned towards her. "Sure." She left the transport guy with a "I'll see you again within a minute". She looked suspicious at Maxine's trousers and then to her.

Maxine noticed her glance. "Your captain succeeded to give me a shower, yes?"

Susan couldn't keep a grin away and headed to Maxine's office.

"Ok, take a seat", Maxine said turning around her desk.

Both sat down.

"I've read the reports and I know about the incident at Guadalcanal. But reports are reports and you can tell whatever in them, but what I really want to know from you is this. Have you been dishonoured by these men? Honestly! If it is, then they haven't heard the last word from me yet."

"No ma'am. They wanted to spend the rest of the night with me and I've made them clear that I wasn't pleased with it", Susan answered dryly.

"Ok, that's a big relief. And what concerns these three men,… I've heard about it", she answered with a mysterious smile.

Susan shrugged.

"Lieutenant, I hope you are aware that you just made yourself with this a lifetime reputation? It's such a one they will still talk about it within a couple of years ."

"Oh?"

Maxine nodded.

"But there's another thing. How was Mike?"

"He was fine ma'am", she answered neutral.

"Just fine? All of a sudden? Not absent?", Maxine asked suspicious.

"No ma'am, he's ok."

"Lieutenant, I know how he left and I just saw how he acts and you are now trying to tell me he's the Mike from before Kate's death?" Maxine became irritated.

"Ma'am! He's one of my crew, and when I say he's fine, then he is fine. You said I have to take care of him, and so I do and there's actually nothing I can't handle!", she answered as irritated as Maxine.

"Oh, Susan, you became already as stubborn as all the other sailors of that bloody Hammersley! Carry on, but don't complain afterwards!", Maxine replied grumpy waving with her hand.

"Ok ma'am, but you will not hear from me", she said determined while she stood upright.

Susan left and Maxine glared at her when she passed by the window of her office.

_Damn Max, it was you who appointed her on the Hammersley. This is your proof, Susan is perfect for it. Grr, but still I want to know how Mike was._

She rubbed her face with both hands for relaxation and looked surprised at her hands that were full with make-up.

"Damn!"

_How do these bloody Hammersley guys arrange it every time that I ruin my make-up?_

She looked at her trousers again.

It's not my day. Certainly not. I wish they were at sea again!

**Espiritu Santo**

The French Marines went to the island to help the local police to beat back the guerrilla's and they succeeded in avoiding a coup. The guerrilla's disappeared in the forest or escaped to some other islands.

In the settlement where Kate was locked up was a hustle and bustle.

"You and you, come with me", the leader barked and he took a syringe. They entered the room where Kate was locked up.

She was ash grey and lost quite some weight. She didn't struggle anymore when he put the needle in her arm.

"Bring her White Beach and leave her there. They will think that it's just another junk that they left at the beach", he ordered the two men.

These men had almost to drag her instead as she could not walk. Stoned and weakened.

But when they were outside the settlement, they decided not to go to White Beach.

"The boss said White Beach, but that's a long end walking and it's crowded there with police."

"I'm not mad. Shoot that wench here on the beach !"

"No, the boss would hear that shot."

"You're right, but no problem, the heroin will do its job. We leave her here and we are off."

At the beach he rammed the stock of the Kalashnikov in her belly whereby she sank down. The two guerrilla's disappeared in the jungle.


	15. Killed in Action Ch 15 Clean up

Chapter 15 Clean up

**The Hammersley**

Mike was hanging around at the bridge faking that he was busy with something, but in fact he was waiting for the X.

Finally he saw her arriving at the gangway. He left the bridge and went towards her and met her near the galley where she was taking a mug for a brew.

She noticed him.

"Hey boss, want a brew?"

"Yeah, why not."

She took a second one and poured coffee in it.

"Black?"

"Fine." He took the mug from her. "Thanks. Uh, X, I wanted to ask you something."

"Ask away" She leaned against the counter, one arm crossed, the other holding the mug. Mike took the same position next to her.

"Tomorrow, I have to empty Kate's house. That's quite some job and I would ask if you have some time to help with it. But if you have already planned something, then forget this question. Maxine will be there too." He looked at her, waiting for her reaction.

"Boss, of course, you will not be alone in this matter. We will be there."

"We?", he replied lifting his eyebrows.

"Come on, don't do as you don't know that. The entire crew stands behind you. I'll get the others. When?"

"I don't know what to say. Thank you."

"Then that would be the first time", she answered with a smile.

"10 o'clock?"

"Right, we will be there."

**Kate's house**

Mike stopped in front of her house and looked at it while he let his hands rest on the steering wheel.

He sighed. "All right, let's go Max."

Both left the car and went to the front door. Maxine was carrying a bag and two empty, big carton boxes. They went inside and stood still in the middle of the living room. He looked around and thought at the previous moments he was there.

"Mike", she said tender. "Go around and take the items, whatever it is, that you want to keep as a souvenir."

He looked at her.

She nodded. "Just do it, you will not regret afterwards and do it at your pace. That's the reason I said to ask the others to come later."

Maxine took a thermos and two mugs from out her bag and poured coffee in the two mugs, gave him one and sat down with other.

He sipped from it, took a box and started in the living room. He chose a couple of frames of her and he took a few pictures that she liked. He leafed through a couple of photo albums and put a few in the box. He continued his tour and then he went to the first floor and put the box on the bed. He looked in the bathroom and went out with her perfume, Coco from Chanel, his last Christmas present for her. Then his eye fell on her jewellery case. He opened it and nodded.

_I know all these. All day things, nothing expensive, the ring I gave her was for sure her first expensive jewel. Other girls got something from their parents, but you could not expect that from that mother of hers. But these were Kate, they were a part of her presence._

_He put the box also apart. He opened her wardrobe and his attention was immediately attracted to the blue dress she wore that evening. He nodded again and put it on the bed. He looked at the bottom of the wardrobe and saw the according blue pumps. _

_Yeah these too. They completed the image of that night._

He looked in the wardrobe and put out a few other things that reminded him to other events. Finally he closed the boxes and went down with them.

Maxine looked up from a magazine. "Ok?"

He nodded and poured him another brew from the thermos.

A few minutes later, at 10 o'clock, there was a ring at the door. He opened the door and saw Susan.

"'morning boss, I brought some help." Behind her stood Bomber, Bird and Sally.

Once inside, Bomber took the lead.

"All right girls, We have a van outside. Inside there are boxes, let's get them. Later on today our men will collect them."

She looked at Mike. "Boss, I think you can't do much here now. Go for some fresh air, leave this to us, yes?"

"Yeah you're right. Thanks a lot to you all."

He left the house, but stood at the pavement, hesitating if he would look back, but he decided to walk further.

**That evening.**

"So that's it", said Bomber, "A drink together?"

"No, sorry not for me. I need a walk", answered Susan.

She left the house and started walking through the streets. The exercise of that day had made her gloomy. It reminded her to a previous situation. Without she noticed she arrived at the centre of Cairns and saw Mike, sitting on a high table at a terrace of a café. He looked discouraged. She went to him.

"Do you mind I join you?"

He looked up and she saw a glimmer in his eyes. "Yeah, take a seat. Something to drink?"

"Yeah, a beer. I need it."

He looked at her with a questioning glance and ordered two beers. A minute later they were served. She took a few gulps and put the glass down with a sigh.

Mike observed her. "Thirsty?"

Susan didn't look at him but stared at blank straight forward with her arms crossed on the table. She shook her head. "No. It's so hard", she said softly.

"Filling boxes? You must put yourself in my place, then you would experience what hard is", he answered embittered.

"Mike! Don't ever dare to tell me that I don't know how hard these feelings are!", Susan answered angrily glaring at him.

He lifted his eyebrows surprised by her fierce reaction, but didn't say anything else anymore and looked in his beer.

Both sat next to each other, sipping from their beers staring in front of them. When the glasses were empty Susan made a sign for two others. The beers were served and they took a sip.

"I've done this before", she said faint while she was wiping small condense drops from her glass. "Richard and I were only married for six months. It must have been around seven in the evening. We were on our way to a restaurant when it happened. A drunk drove at full speed at us, on his side. All went black and a day later I woke up in the hospital. But he didn't. He died instantly.

After two weeks I could leave the hospital, but for him it was game over!. And that fool had just a few scratches and he still walks around, free!

I had to put all his stuff in boxes. I was just like I've put my life in these bloody boxes as well.

Damn! I couldn't live in that house anymore. Everywhere I came I saw and I heard him. I got crazy of it and I moved to another location." She looked at him and he saw tears in her eyes. "So Mike, don't ever tell me that I don't know how it is to loose someone, because I know exactly what you are going through. Today I experienced everything again…."

She covered her face with her hands and sobbed.

Mike looked at her surprised and wrapped his arm around her sturdy shoulders and gave her a hug.

"Sorry Susan I didn't know. Really!"

She took a deep breath. "It's ok. I avoid talking about it. Each time I think I'm over it, but sometimes I'm completely lost, like now."

She bit her lip and put again her hands to her face to cover some sobs.

"Susan, I understand. You're not alone anymore. I'm here for you", he said hugging her.

She took a deep breath. "I'm sorry Mike. I had to be there for you, but today I had a crack. And now you are comforting me!" She wiped the tears from her face and grabbed in her handbag for a tissue to blow her nose.

"You can always talk to me about it. We are there for each other", he said.

Susan sighed and took another gulp and he gestured for another round.

"A great team we are, isn't it?", she said husky. "Both, are drowning our sorrows in grief. I have to look for you and you are doing that for me now. Man, man what a situation. Well I think I'm going to be drunk tonight. I want to forget everything."

**The next morning**

"Aargh. Ooh, what the hell is that?", Susan groaned while she turned on her back.

"Where am I? "

"Why are they hammering in my head?", she moaned.

She opened her eyes a bit.

"Hmm, my cabin. How did I get here?"

She slit with her hands over her body.

"Uh? I'm lying in my undies?"

She looked at the chair and saw her clothes hanging over it and the sandals under it.

_Ok, that's there. A shower, maybe that will help._

She dropped her underwear and stumbled to the shower cabin where she leaned with her hands against the wall while the water rushed over her head and body.

_Hmm, better. _

_What happened yesterday? _

_Yes, the clean up of Kate's house. _

_I was completely through it._

_A beer with Mike. Hmm, more than one I feel. _

_I told him about Richard. _

_But then? _

_Crap, that's a hole!_

_How did I get here?_

_Damn where's Mike? I had to take care for him._

_Shit, did we…?_

_Quick! I have to find out where he is!_

She hurried from out the shower, dried herself off and put on some cloths that were in her cupboard and went out. She knocked on Mike's door with a small heart and was relieved and also surprised when he opened the door while he was rushing with a towel through his hair.

"Ah? Susan. Ouch, how do you look like?", he said surprised.

She sighed. "If I look like I feel, then it must be awful. But I'm happy to see you more or less ok. What happened last night? I'm sorry, I had to take care of you…"

He interrupted her. "Susan, don't say sorry every time. You were down yesterday and you released your heart. That's it. You were completely of the planet and we managed to get here. I undressed you and I put you on your rack."

"Thank you", she said faint. "But, did we have … uh…?", she asked prudent.

Mike laughed. "No, Susan, I assure you, nothing happened." And he tapped her on her upper arm.

"Ok, ok. It's better like this. And now I'm going to make an assault on Swain's medicine cupboard and chase a mug of black coffee", she said with a slight smile and turned to the alley.

"Susan?"

She turned towards him again. "Uh?"

"Thanks. You remind me of Kate. In despite of your troubles, you want to take care of someone else. Kate did exactly the same."

"Hmm? Ok, pleasure."


	16. Killed in Action Ch 16 Fly Boy

Chapter 16 Fly Boy

Weeks passed, patrols came and went. Susan was completely integrated in the crew and they accepted her. Hard nuts like 2Dads found out that she was even a harder nut than they were. The major problem was Mike. He was still not over Kate's dead and he was blaming himself that he had lingered their relation. He worked on automatic pilot and Susan whispered in his ear as much she could what he had to do.

On the actual patrol the weather was not their partner.

The sea was rough that morning and the sailors had to hold themselves on doorways and walls to avoid that they would loose their balance.

They gathered around the galley to get their breakfast.

Susan was leaning against the wall and was biting from a doughnut when Dutchy arrived. He took a plate with bacon from Bird and wanted to go further but at that moment the Hammersley dived through a wave in the middle of the sea. He lost his balance and bumped into Susan who didn't move an inch.

"You're lucky that I have a solid frame huh? Otherwise we would now be measuring the floor", she said with a smile.

"Uh sorry ma'am. I haven't said that", he replied unsure.

"Don't worry about that. I'm old and wise enough to know that I'm far more sturdier than the average woman. And to be honest, I don't give a damn!"

"Oh, ok if you think like that," he replied more at ease.

"Yeah, why not? By the way, did you see any progress to the boss since I took over from Kate?", she asked him.

"Yes and no. He's still far from the boss we all knew when Kate was still alive. But there's a difference since you came onboard. He's more alert now." Then Dutchy changed the volume of his voice to a whispering tone. "But, I noticed he's 100% relying on you. If we think him away, it's you who's commanding the boat."

"Thanks for the confirmation. I have that feeling too", Susan replied slightly nodding.

Meanwhile she finished her doughnut and tapped him on his shoulder.

"I'm going to the bridge to see when that storm is going to hit us. And when you're eating, hold your plate otherwise you can collect your bacon from every corner of the room" she said laughing.

"Yeah, thanks for the advice."

_Hmm, a very apart sense of humour. Kate wouldn't have said that. Anyhow, that means she feels home with us._

When she arrived at the bridge the view outside was not very hopeful. Lead-grey clouds, a grey-green sea, plenty with waves with foam. She looked around. Swain at the helm, Harpie at the radar, RO at the radio. _Does he never sleep?_ And 2Dads chatting with Charge. No boss.

"'morning men. How's the weather report?"

"Ma'am, the base says that the storm is straight ahead us and it will increase within the coming hours", RO announced.

"Thanks RO."

"Right, I'm going to see the boss if we can change this course or not", Susan said.

She went down and knocked his door.

"Yeah, come in", she heard from inside.

A quick look told her that Mike wasn't over his grief for Kate yet. The chain with one dog tag and the remains of the ring hung over the frame with her photo. She couldn't determine how she looked like. A blond smiling woman, that was the best description she could make.

"'morning boss, the weather report says that the storm is still right in front of us and it will increase."

"Hmm. Yes?" He looked up from the latest orders from Navcom.

_Dutchy you're damn right again. He doesn't react._

"Wouldn't it be better to go round? We are not chasing anything, are we?", she asked.

He nodded. "Yeah, good idea. Go for it X."

"All right, thank you sir."

She left his cabin and headed to the bridge.

_Poor fellow, she must have meant extreme much for him. He's still not on the earth yet._

_All right, here I go again. If they say later on that I have no experience to be a CO, then I'll kill them._

"Swain, steer 8-3-0. We go round the storm", she said while she installed herself in the captain's chair.

"Aye ma'am, steer 8-3-0", he confirmed.

A few minutes later.

"Ma'am, I received a mayday call from an airplane", RO announced.

"Tell me." She looked backwards to RO.

"It's one of us. Call sign Yankee-Zulu 1. Engine failure. They are 70 miles north-east of us. They picked us up on their radar and they are coming our way as far they got. They have to bail out."

"Position?"

"3-2-4."

"Right, Swain, steer 3-2-4! Full speed! RO answer them that we are going in their direction!"

"Yankee-Zulu 1, here's the HMAS Hammersley, we are setting course to your position", RO said.

"My God, bail out? In this storm? They don't have the slightest chance to survive", 2Dads said astonished.

"Anyhow we are going to give them that chance", Susan snapped at him. She grabbed the microphone. "Prepare a RHIB for a rescue at sea. Prepare a RHIB for a rescue at sea.

Captain to the bridge."

Mike was hurrying to the bridge already before she called him because he felt the increase of speed and the fierce manoeuvre of the boat.

"X, what's going on? Why are we changing course without…"

"Emergency case sir, one of our planes is in distress. Engine failure and they are trying to get in our neighbourhood to bail out. So each mile we can come closer is better", Susan interrupted Mike.

"I go now to the RHIB."

"Ok, ok, I understand. But bail out now, in this storm? Jesus!", Mike answered startled.

"Ok, guys watch out for an airplane. It might fly low above the water. It could also burn."

"There it is", Harpie yelled after a few minutes.

All went to the starboard side of the bridge. In the distance they could see a black smoke plume, but not yet a plane. The distance was too far.

"Boss, they say they have a visual", RO turned towards the men at the bridge.

"I can recognise it now. It's a F18, a Hornet, a twin seater. Not good, both engines are burning. Bail out guys, bail out", Mike said.

"X, we have a visual. Prepare your RHIB."

"Copy that sir", she responded.

"Why does he climb again? Instantly he is in the clouds", Harpie asked.

"He's too low for bailing out. Then the pilots will drop in the sea without that their parachute can open."

All of a sudden they saw a flash through the clouds and a couple of seconds later they heard the explosion.

"Oh my God, poor bastards", Charge exclaimed.

"Maybe they were already out." Mike tried to cheer up the men around him.

Nobody said a word and all stared at the spot where the flash was.

"There a parachute!", Harpie shouted.

"Two!", RO added.

Mike grabbed the microphone.

"X, two parachutes north east of us. Be careful, the sea is rough. Go!"

"Aye sir!", she replied.

The RHIB pushed off and worked its way through and over the huge waves. Within a few seconds all on board were moistened.

"Come on guys, their lives depend on us now !", Susan yelled to the others.

"X-Ray to Alpha. First parachute touched the sea. Steer more backboard."

"Copy that", she answered. "More backboard, she yelled to Johnny who sat at the helm."

"There, a yellow spot at the sea", Bomber shouted.

The yellow paint was already diffusing by the rough sea.

"Ma'am, he doesn't react", Bomber tried to shout above the noise of the storm.

"Slow!", Susan ordered.

"A bit closer. Hold!", She yelled at Johnny. "Closer !"

But the sea was far too heavy to come closer without the risk to touch the pilot.

"Ma'am, I can't get closer, otherwise I'm on top of him."

"Wait!", Susan said and she put her cap off and gave it to Dutchy. Before he could say anything she jumped overboard and swam towards the pilot who didn't move. She took him by his collar and pulled him back while swimming. Meanwhile the RHIB managed to come closer and Dutchy and Bomber pulled both back on board.

"X, you must be more prudent. It's dangerous in this weather", Dutchy said.

"It's dangerous for him too", she said pointing to the pilot.

"He's alive", Bomber shouted over the noise of the waves.

"Alpha to X-Ray. Pilot one is alive. Where's the other one?", Susan asked to the Hammersley.

"X-Ray to Alpha. About 50 meters to the east."

"Roger that."

"Johnny, 50 meters east", she shouted at him.

The RHIB increased speed and wrestled through the waves to the next point. On top of the wave they could see another yellow spot a few ten meters away. Here they could come more close so that Dutchy and Bomber could pull the man onboard. This one let a scream of pain.

"Alpha to X-Ray. Second pilot found. Alive but injured. We return."

At the Hammersley Swain installed a ward as good as possible and with the usual bustle both flyers were brought in. Mike stood in the corridor, watching his men busy. Susan and Dutchy came after.

"Hey, X, you look like you've felt in the water?" He asked because she was dripping like mad.

"Yeah, sir, she jumped after him." Dutchy filled in automatically.

Susan turned quick towards him, glared and mouthed : "Don't say that, you idiot!"

Dutchy mouthed back surprised: "Why?"

"X, in this weather? That's rash, you have to know better", Mike said annoyed.

"Sir, if I haven't done it, he would have been drowned!", she answered fierce.

"Ok, ok, but think twice for the next time."

"Team, well done. "

"Swain, you will give me a report about them? I'll tell Navcom we fished up two of our pilots."

"Aye sir, will do", Swain answered.

"And you, you owe me a drink! You should have known how the boss is", Susan snapped at Dutchy.

"Ok, Sorry X, you will get a couple of me."

After Susan pulled on dry stuff she went back to the ward to see the pilots and Swain.

"Hey Swain, how are they?"

"X, One of them has a broken leg and I've got a connection with the doctor of the HMAS Ballarat who advised me to keep him under narcosis. The other one is the pilot and he is conscious, but he has a metal fragment in his upper arm. It's too deep and the doctor said I have to let it in. The boss says we will transfer them the HMAS Ballarat as soon as we reach them and the sea becomes calm."

She poked her head inside. One man lay down on a rack with his leg put in splints. The other one sat on the bunk with his arm firmly packed. He had dark hair and very heavy eyebrows and very fierce look.

"Hi, I'm Lieutenant Dufour, the executive officer. I come to see how you both are going."

"Hey! That's a surprise. I thought you could only find ugly, rough guys in the Navy, but not beautiful ladies."

"Flatterer. You are?"

"Flight Lieutenant Matthew Perrin. Our sleeping beauty here is Flight Lieutenant William Bayly. They call us Mat and Wil."

"Nice to meet you. But how's your arm?"

"Pfft, just a scratch", he said shrugging.

"A scratch? Our medic just told me there's a shrapnel in your arm that has to be removed by surgery and you call that a scratch?", she said indignant.

"It is. It could have been worse. If we had decided to bail out a couple of seconds later, we were now shark food."

"Don't say that!", she answered shaking her head. "You must be aware that an infection could get in it and in the worst case you will loose your arm and then it's bye bye airplane. And by the way are you realising what you said? A few seconds later and you were dead? You're playing with your life, you know!", she said irritated.

"Why are you laughing at me?"

"No, I'm certainly not! I like your concern. But in fact you did exactly the same. All the sailors around us are telling me that you fished me out of the water. That's dangerous you know, jumping in the water in such a hell of a storm. You'd be drowned!

And therefore I want to thank you. "

"Now it sounds like you are concerned about me?", Susan replied.

"Of course, such a beautiful lady."

"Yeah, yeah, I think you have your head checked too together with your arm. You don't sound clear."

"Oh no, I'm absolutely sure what I'm saying. You owe a drink from me you know. What's your base?"

"Cairns."

"Hmm, not that far from ours, Townsville. A bit less then 180 miles."

"Right, I will get that drink, but now I have to continue. See you later Lieutenant."

Susan left the ward and Matthew stared to the doorway after her but at that moment Bomber entered.

_Wow, amazing woman!_

"You've met our X? She pulled you out of the water you know?"

"Yeah, I think every sailor on board has told me that already", he said smiling.

"How is your X in fact?"

"Ah, well, a very big heart, but a mouth that is as big as her heart", Bomber answered light-hearted.

"Hmm, I have that impression too", he said.

"I've heard that!", they heard Susan yelling through the corridor.

"You see what I mean Lieutenant?", Bomber said while she motioned with her head in the direction of the corridor.

"Exactly!", Matthew answered with a smile.

A couple of hours later at the bridge.

"Sir, at what time do we encounter the HMAS Ballarat for the transfer of our pilots?", Susan asked Mike.

"The latest message was at 1700 Hr today."

"Hmm, I'll think I'll have a look how they are now."

"So quick? You've been there just two hours ago. They won't run away you know. But, I can't stop you", Mike answered surprised.

"Ok, but I'll have a quick check."

In the corridor Susan hesitated to enter the ward. She turned and entered her cabin. She went to the bathroom and looked in the mirror.

"Susan, with what are you busy? You just saw him … uh, them two hours ago. His … their status is still the same. What will you do there? Ok, I admit, he's a handsome guy ", she mumbled.

…

"Get awake Susy! You're acting like a girl of 16 !", she said slightly irritated.

She splashed some water in her face, left her cabin and went along the ward without looking inside, but…

"Lieutenant?" She heard Matthew's voice from inside.

_Damn! I just made up my mind and now this. All my good intentions will be screwed up within a minute!_

She stopped walking and turned to poke her head inside.

"Yes, tell me?"

"Lieutenant, is there a possibility to get some coffee?", Mattew asked.

"A brew? Sure, in the galley."

"Brew?", he replied lifting his eyebrows.

"Yeah, we navies call it like that. Come along, your mate will not run away", she said motioning with her head.

Matthew stood up and followed Susan through the corridor to the galley.

"Lieutenant, …"

"It's Susan, we have the same rank, you know", she interrupted him.

Right, It's Matthew. Susan, you are already quite some time on this boat?"

"A couple of months as a replacement for a killed in action."

"Ouch."

"And I hope it will be for a long time. I like it here."

"Sounds good."

"Meanwhile they reached the galley and Susan poured two mugs and they stood next to each other sipping from the hot coffee.

"Matthew, are you a sportsman?", she asked him.

"Uh, not exactly. Every man does a kind of a sport, but I don't, although."

"Although? Why?"

"What I do is also a kind of a sport. I'm a dancer. Ballroom and latin."

She threw a quick uncontrolled glance at him that had not escaped him.

"You can dance?", he asked prudent.

Susan didn't say anything, she just looked at the coffee in her mug.

"Susan, I can read you as an open book", he said smiling. "Every other woman says in panic 'no-no I can't', but you just say nothing. Your lacking answer is 'yes I can but I don't dare to say'. Isn't it."

"Hmm, you're quick minded."

"Yep, I have to, especially when you fly at 1.6 Mach."

"You're married?", Susan asked neutral.

"Nope."

"Girl friend?"

"Nope. That makes it difficult to dance, you need a good partner."

"That's right."

"Are you married?"

"I was. He died in a car accident."

"Oh, I'm sorry."

"That's ok, but I have to go now, the captain expects me in a minute. See you. Get some more if you want, will you?"

"Sure."

At the bridge.

"Ah, X, are our patients ok?", Mike asked with a grin.

"Sure, everything is normal", she answered as dull as possible.

At 1700 Hr they had an encounter with the HMAS Ballarat and both patients were transferred. Susan led the transfer and returned afterwards to the bridge.

"Sir, transfer accomplished. "

"Fine X. We can continue with our patrol."

"I'm glad we are rid of them", she said looking at the Ballarat that sailed away.

_Why do I say that? For one reason or another I like him. Are you ashamed for your feelings?_

Mike looked at her and started laughing.

"Why are you laughing?", she said turning towards him.

"X, you are an extreme bad liar. In fact you just said that you are already looking forward to see him again."

Susan looked through the windscreen to the frigate and shrugged.

"He's an interesting person, that's all. He offered me a drink because I saved his life", she said tying to sound rather uninterested.

"Hmm, are you going to accept that?", Mike asked.

"I don't know yet", she replied with a shrug.

"X, he looks to me as a man from one piece. Don't miss that opportunity. I know idiots who missed it and they regret it now enormously", he said looking at her.

She looked at him and nodded.

_You're right. I'm sorry for you boss._

A few patrols later the Hammersley has moored again at the base and the crew was occupied with the preparation of their shore leave. Swain was in a hurry to be with Sally and Chloe. 2Dads was thinking about the coming poker night. Dutchy didn't worry about it, he would always find a nice girl to spend the weekend. Bird and Bomber were still chatting on board about their plans and were leaning on the railing. Mike stood as usual in the doorway of the bridge, looking at the hustle and bustle around the gangway, not knowing what to do and hoping the shore leave would pass quickly.

Someone else just left the bathroom after a hot shower and was humming a song when she opened her cupboard to take out a yellow-ochre dress that was protected by a plastic cover. Susan smiled at the picture of a pilot that stood in her cupboard.

_Why don't you put him on your desk? I don't know. Maybe I want to keep him a bit secret?_

She giggled.

She pulled the dress over her head and went to the bathroom to put on a bit of make-up and to comb her hair. Finally she put her sun glasses in her hair, took her handbag and shoved in high heeled sandals.

_See the boss to say I'm away. I'm wondering when he's going to restart. It's already a few months since her death. I never thought it was going to be such a difficult task when I saw him for the first time in Maxine's office._

At the bridge she found Mike on his favourite spot, in the doorway outside.

"Boss, I'm away."

He turned and looked at her lifting his eyebrows.

"Hmm, Susan you look again astonished. Have a good time with Matthew."

"Thank you ! By the way, what are you going to do?"

Mike looked at her and shrugged.

"Don't know. Finding any job here on board. Hanging around. A pub visit. Maybe I'll bring my parents a visit."

"Mike?"

He looked at her a bit surprised because it was the first time she called him by his first name on board."

"I know damn good it's difficult to get over your grief. But you can't continue like this. It has to. And drinking doesn't give a solution either. You discovered that the last months. Do something interesting and open yourself for a new relation. You're not too old, you know."

Mike nodded.

"What can I say? I have to put everything on row again. The shore leave is perhaps the opportunity.

By the way, your pilot has arrived" he said with a smile

"Enjoy your leave Susan."

"Thank you sir"

At the gangway Bomber poked Bird.

"Bird, look at that. Who the hell is nowadays driving with such a stunning BMW cabrio? You must have a fortune to pay that."

"Yeah, even Dutchy doesn't have it", Bird replied.

"Sorry girls, this guy is mine!", Susan said who arrived behind them.

"X, you really mean it?", Bomber exclaimed.

"Yep, this is maybe one of the scare privileges of being a female officer."

She gave them a smile then walked off the gangway towards Matthew who walked from his car to her.


	17. Killed in Action Ch 17 Nouméa

Chapter 17. Nouméa

**7 months later**

**New-Caledonia**

**Nouméa**

The hospital of the city lay on a slope around the bay and from the lawn you had a beautiful sight on all the ships that entered of left the harbour.

The French doctor arrived at the hospital in the morning and went to his office that gave out on the lawn of the hospital. As usual he stood in front of the window and looked outside to the harbour while the sun shone on his face. In the garden stood deck and garden chairs in which the patients could enjoy the view of the sea while they basked in the sun. His attention was attracted by a permanent guest of them. One of the patients was keen on that view. Day in, day out she sat in one of these chairs staring at the sea.

He frowned when there was a knock at the door.

"Yes, come in" he answered.

"Good morning doctor", the head nurse said when she entered. She stopped next the doctor to look outside.

"'morning Nadette. How do the patients do today?"

"Fine, no problems last night."

"And Louise?"

"Our little blond? The same like yesterday, like the week before, like the month before. She says nothing and looks at the sea. It's just like she's waiting for something."

Both looked at the young woman with the short blond hair who sat in a garden chair, her glance fixed at the horizon.

The doctor nodded. "Yes physically she's back ok, but mentally? She has locked herself out and I'm wondering how we have to get her out of her isolation. We even don't know her nationality. She has not a single paper. The only link we have is that she understands English and French", he said thoughtfully.

"She's blank and blond. We have asked every blank tourist to ask her in their language, but nothing. Scandinavians, Germans, Russians, Dutchmen, nothing", the nurse said desperately.

"Weird."

"Only two months ago, you remember?", Nadette asked.

"Yes indeed. One of our frigates visited our port. That was the first time she reacted on something."

"She had risen and went to the border of the garden and had pointed to that ship. We asked then a few officers to come with the hope that they could recognise her, but in vain. They did not recognise each other."

"Anyhow, I mentioned it in her file. We have to focus on that. Each time we receive a war ship we will ask the sailors if they know her. The chance is extremely small, but who knows", the doctor concluded.

**One week later.**

**Coral Sea**

**HMAS Hammersley**

The Hammersley was slowly entering the harbour of Nouméa. Mike grabbed the microphone to speak to the crew.

"Crew, listen up. This is the captain speaking. We are entering Nouméa for a courtesy visit. We will stay here two days and I think if there's a change we will be invited to a somewhat official party. But mind this is French territory. I warn you, I don't want a repetition of the case with the flag or any other issues like that with golf carts. And during shore leave, watch each others back, especially the ones of our female sailors. That's all. Carry on." With his last sentence about the female sailors he looked at Susan who lifted her eyebrows.

"Hey RO, golf carts! That was for you!" Yelled 2Dads.

RO wanted to snap something back, but Mike was quicker.

"2Dads, the message was also for you. If you turn up with something that has nothing to do with this boat, I'll throw you and the item personally over board! Understood?"

"Uh, yes sir!"

Susan looked questioning from one to another. "Flag? Golf cart?"

"Don't worry X, during our shore leave here we'll explain that to you how our bright sailors make themselves famous with monkeys, flags and golf carts" Swain replied with a huge grin.

"Monkeys?"

"Oh yes X, you will certainly have the opportunity to enjoy our 2Dads' capability to arrange something."

She looked suspicious to 2Dads who had all of a sudden something important to do behind some cupboards.

From the moment the Hammerley was securely moored Susan went to Mike.

"Sir, permission to go on shore? I want to look for some fresh fruit and vegetables and something extra with a French touch, like some cheese and baguettes."

"Hmm, sounds good. And you want for sure to sniff some French atmosphere from your roots isn't it, _Madame_ Dufour?", Mike answered.

"Yeah, Bomber and I are the only ones on board who can speak French. Negotiating in the native language always gives better results."

"Ok, go for it. I'm anxious to see what you will come back with."

Susan changed in her white uniform and went to the city. She looked at the sign boards and the store names and just smiled.

_Weird, I'm Australian for already several generations and still I like to see these French names._

After a while she was on her way back to the ship and felt happy. Arrangements have been made to supply fresh items to the ship, all together with cheese and baguettes. She was thinking about to ask Mike if a bit of wine could be served as well. All of a sudden a woman in a white nurse uniform attracted her attention.

"'_Madame, madame_', can I ask you something?"

"Yes, of course."

"I'm from the hospital nearby and I would ask you something special. Namely, might it be possible to look at one of our patients to see if you recognise her?"

"Uh? I beg your pardon?"

"It's like this. We have since several months a patient of whose name or nationality we don't know. She closed herself for the rest of the world. The only things we know is that she understand English and French and that she has interest in war ships."

"Hmm, strange, but we are not missing anyone."

"Ok, but could you have a look? It takes just a few minutes. Please!"

"Ok, If I can do you a favour with that, I'll do."

Susan followed the nurse to the hospital and they entered the large hall and she brought her to an office from which Susan saw different patients sitting in chairs in the garden.

"There, that's her, with the blue dress", the nurse pointed with her finger.

She bent forward and saw a tiny woman with short blond hair who was holding her hand against the sun. Susan followed her glance and saw the black silhouette of the Hammersley in the bay.

"She's looking at my boat?" , she said a bit surprised.

"Don't make yourself illusions. She stares always at the ships in the bay. The presence of a war ship makes her always nervous. But now, she's more restless than other times."

Susan shook her head. "Sorry, I don't know her. Like I said, we're missing nobody."

Before she left she threw a last glance at the woman who didn't move since she arrived. The wind let her dress flutter on her thin body so that she looked like a flagstaff.

"Ok, thank you for your time. I'll let you out." The nurse said and opened the door of the hospital.

Outside, Susan wandered through the streets and could not release the image of the fluttering dress around the tiny blond person.

_Why for god's sake do I think about Kate? I don't know her. I even don't know how she looks like. Is she big? Sturdy? Lean? Do we really miss someone? No. But a little bit more than a half year ago we missed two of our people. Killed. Did we recognise them visually? They said they couldn't, because they were heavily burned._

_Let it go Susy, pure fantasy!_

**A few hours later**

Susan knocked the door of Dutchy's cabin.

"Yeah, come in" he said and she opened the door.

"Ah, X, what can I do for you?"

She entered and closed the door and leaned against the wall with her hands in the pockets.

"Dutchy, I need to ask you something. Kate, how did she look like? Can you compare her with somebody else?"

"Pfft, how she looked? ", He mumbled scratching his head.

"There's a photo of her on the desk of the boss", he said convinced.

"Yeah, I saw that from far. I didn't bend forward to look more close. That's a bit embarrassing, isn't it? And it's just the bust."

"Hmm, yes, I know who. You know the show Blue Heelers on television? The actress who plays Maggie Doyle, Lisa McCune. She looks like her", he replied now more happy with the answer.

"Oh! Yes, I know."

"But why?", Dutchy asked suspiciously.

"Don't laugh. Something very weird overcame when I was on shore this afternoon. Someone at the hospital there spoke to me. They asked me if I could recognise one their patients."

"Recognise? We don't miss anyone. We not and not the navy otherwise we would have heard a rumour."

"Yeah, because one their patients is a woman and they don't know who she is or what nationality she has. They only know she understands English and French and that she shows interest in war ships. That's all she does. She doesn't speak and she reacts on nothing. It's like she's millions of miles away, but only when there's a war ship, she gets nervous."

"Strange. And they ask every navy sailor if they could recognise her?"

"Yep. They showed me her from far. It's a blond woman with short hair and not too big, and it was a thin woman."

"Hmm, and what's the link between her and your question about Kate?"

Susan shrugged.

"That's why I said 'don't laugh'. Of course I didn't know that woman, but when I was wandering through the streets afterwards, I got an odd feeling in my stomach, that she could be Kate."

"Oh come on X ! Kate is dead. I was there when we discovered the bodies", he replied shaking his head.

"I know ! But yet. Kate was blond too. Did you recognise her face?"

"Uh, no, it was just a black skull."

"Well? It could be anyone?"

"The body had remains of a navy uniform with the Kevlar, boots and the dog tags with her ring."

"They could have switched the clothes."

"Come on X, so many job? Why should they do that? You know they were executed with a bullet in the head. Why would they do all that effort to take one of us in hostage? Moreover we haven't heard anything about any ransom or other claims. That's something for a spy novel. I think you speak too much with Charge. That's our conspiracy specialist."

"The attack on the twin towers in New York? If you should have seen that on a movie, you would have said, it was pure imagination. But it became a rude reality."

Susan paused and looked at Dutchy who was thinking about what she just said.

"And from here we are not that far from Espiritu Santo . _And_ we know that the French cleared out and stabilised the situation there. _And_ we are at French territory now."

"Nobody doubted at the Brass they were not Kate and Lance", Duchy replied.

"Of course, but has there been a forensic investigation? Did they really check if they were really Lance and Kate? Moreover they burked the whole issue. They denied Commander White's accusation for murder. There was no ceremony for the two poor fellows, no medals, no officials. Everything is kept quiet. Just a sober funeral. Why? Because the government didn't want to loose its face against the world."

Susan's voice became more embittered.

"Really, Susan, I think you are exaggerating", he replied softly.

"No, the more we are talking about, I'm persuaded we have to give this a chance! We are here now for a few days and the hospital is in the town. We have to look at her again. I agree, there's a very little chance it is, but I want to be sure about that little chance."

He nodded.

"And if it's not, then you will have a great story to tell about me in the pub", she said with a smile.

"Right, I'm not persuaded, but I will do it for your inner peace. But, we will take Bomber with us. Women have a sixth sense for such things. Let's go tomorrow morning."

"Great, thank you Dutchy."

Susan left his cabin and Dutchy stared blankly at the wall of his cabin thinking about what Susan had just said.

_If that would be true, who the hell did we recover? Three bodies, Lance, the farmer, and Kate, that we believe it was Kate. It was a woman. The most obvious is that it was the farmer's wife. Ok, but why did they take Kate hostage? It happened almost a year ago. What happened then in between? What did they do with her? They told the X she doesn't react at anything. Doesn't sound good. How to tell the boss? For sure he'll think we're laughing at him. Dutchy stop thinking. First recognise that woman and than see further._

The next morning Dutchy went to Bomber in the galley.

"Bomb I've got a job for you."

"Dutchy, I have to prepare lunch?", she replied.

"Leave that to Bird, she's a big girl and she can handle that. I need you more now."

"All right, sorry Bird, you know what to do?"

"Yep, I'll handle it", Bird replied.

Bomber put away her apron and put on her cap.

"Dutchy what do you need me for?"

"First we'll pick up the X, she's coming with us. From the moment we're off the ship I'll explain", he said while they were on their way outside.

"Hmm, so mysterious? You make me curious", Bomber said.

Once they were on the quay.

"X, Dutchy, where are we going to?"

"Bomb, the X met yesterday someone at the hospital and they asked her to recognise someone. Now she thinks she saw Kate."

"_What?_ You're kidding. Not possible, she's dead", Bomber spat out.

"I know Bomber, but I have a weird feeling about it. Yesterday I had a fierce discussion about it with Dutchy, and I want to be 100% sure. You both know her well, I never met her, you see", Susan replied.

They continued in silence, all lost in their thoughts.

After a few minutes the reached the hospital and Susan ran the bell. One of nurses opened the door.

"Ah, _mon lieutenant_, you are back", she said with a smile.

"_Bonjour_. I brought two colleagues who can maybe recognise the woman. As I told you, I'm not that long onboard of our vessel."

"Yes, come along, as usual she sits in the garden overlooking the bay. Today she's extreme restless and that's because your boat is in the harbour. That's every time when there's a navy vessel on visit, but now it's worse", the nurse answered.

The walked through the corridor to a window that gives out at the garden and from there they could see all the patients in the garden.

"That's her, next to the roses." The nurse pointed to a blond woman in a garden chair wearing a pale blue dress.

All three bent forward to have a better look.

"Well, goddamn! I would say she looks extremely well like Kate", Dutchy expressed.

"Yes", Bomber said convinced. "It's her! Absolutely sure! But, my god, how does she look like ! It looks like she's ten years older."

They looked back at the nurse.

"Are you sure?", she asked.

"Definitely ! It's our X", Bomber confirmed.

A big smile of relief was seen on the nurse's face.

"You just made our day, I'll tell our doctor immediately. A second please." Then she hurried away to get the doctor.

"Well X. I must say you have a very good stomach feeling !", Dutchy said tapping on her shoulder.

Bomber kept on staring through the window to Kate like she saw a ghost.

"Bomber, you look like you saw a ghost", Susan said.

"It … it is. She was dead, wasn't she?", Bomber stammered.

"Apparently not huh", Dutchy said dry.

A few minutes later the doctor arrived with the nurse.

"Ah _bonjour_, you brought us some good news, I've heard?", he said.

"Who is it?", he asked curious.

"She is Kate McGregor, an officer of the Australian Navy. She was presumed killed in action last year. We found bodies at Espiritu Santo of which we believed one of them was Lieutenant-Commander McGregor", Susan answered.

"Finally we know !", he said and he looked at the nurse.

"Indeed, almost a year ago our troops found her and brought her in. Now you can contact her relatives."

"She has not, … uh, sorry , yes she has. Her fiancé", Susan said.

"Ah, fantastic. You can contact him."

"Sure, we will do it right now", Dutchy picked in.

"Now?", the doctor asked.

"Yes, her fiancé is our commanding officer."

"Aha!" There was a twinkling in the doctor's eyes.

"Dutchy, I think I'll better warn the boss. I'm sure I'll have to use all my persuasiveness. I'll get him."

"All right we will wait for you."

"Can we go to her?", Bomber asked.

"Hmm, she's very unstable if it comes to encounters. We don't know how she will react. You'd better wait until her fiancé is here", the doctor said.

Susan went back to the Hammersley. Mike was busy on the bridge to plan the next course on the maps.

"Sir, can I have a word in private?"

Mike looked up, somewhat surprised. This was not the normal behaviour of his X. Normally she said anything without caring who was around.

"Uh yes, ok, come."

They entered his cabin.

"Ok, X, tell me", he said while leaning against his desk.

"Sir it's rather delicate", Susan started.

"Hmm, if you already say it's delicate, then I'm holding my heart", he said frowning.

"No, I mean it. Uh, maybe I can say it straight away. We found out that here in the hospital is someone you know very well and that … she … is alive." Susan pronounced a bit the 'she'. She paused to look at Mike.

"_What? What did you say? She?_ No! Listen lieutenant, I'm not in the mood for jokes." Mike got clearly irritated.

"No sir, I mean it. Dutchy and Bomber have confirmed it. It … is … Kate." She pronounced each word.

"Impossible, Kate is dead", he spat out.

"No, another one is dead. The farmer's wife."

"Listen, I hope for you that this is not a joke…", he replied angrily.

"Do I look like I'm making jokes?", she said fierce back.

"X, this is too obvious, I don't believe it", he said shaking his head.

"For God's sake, boss, you have now at least the chance to get your girl back. _Give it a chance!_ If it was about Matthew and I got only one thousandth of this opportunity I would run", she replied angrily.

Mike was startled, he calmed down and looked at Susan.

He nodded.

She realised instantly that her feelings have spoken instead of her mind.

"Sorry sir for my reaction. Old emotions came to the surface again. "

"Sorry Susan, I understand", he said tender.

"It's ok", she whispered.

"Ok, how is she?" He asked unsure.

"She's alive, but the doctor says she doesn't talk and doesn't react on the neighbourhood. "

"I don't understand, how?"

"Boss, you'd better go to the hospital and don't forget your after shave."

"What the hell has my after shave got to do with this?" He replied annoyed.

She sighed. "For God's sake, Mike, you are one of the best commanders we have, but when it comes to women matters you're just a Midshipman. "

He looked at her startled.

"Smells and tastes are the things that are deep stored in the memory. When you smell or taste something after years it brings back your memory. If you use the aftershave Kate knows, that might bring back the earlier memories and hopefully she will react on them. You see?"

"Uh, yes ok."

He went back to the bathroom to use some. Then they left.

She smelled it.

"Yeah, that's better. You used somewhat extra?"

"Ahum..."


	18. Killed in Action Ch 18 Reunion

Chapter 18. Reunion

Mike and Susan walked to the hospital in silence. Both were busy with their own thoughts. Mike's heart was beating a lot faster and he clenched his fists to avoid that she would notice that they were trembling. He tried to get his breathing under control.

She rang the door bell of the hospital and it seemed for them, that it took an eternity until someone opened the door. A nurse let them in and brought them to a kind of lounge where they met Dutchy and Bomber who where enjoying a cup of coffee. They stood upright for their officers.

"Hmm, nice after shave!", Bomber blurted out, but Susan glared over Mike's shoulder to her. She understood her glance and bit her lip.

Meanwhile the doctor and the nurse had arrived.

"Ah '_mon capitaine'_, you arrived. Nice to meet you. I'm Bernard Denuit, the doctor of the hospital", he greeted Mike and they shook hands.

"Nice to meet you too, I'm Commander Mike Flynn, but where is Kate?", he asked suspiciously and extremely nervous.

"She's still in the garden…", the doctor started but.

Mike didn't care what the others would think and left him abrupt and went to a window and looked outside and noticed her directly.

"Katie, you're alive!", he said faint and surprised. "But my god, what happened to you? ", he blurted out and made a move to get out to her.

"_Capitaine_, wait!", said the doctor concerned. Mike turned to him with a questioning glance.

"You have to know her actual state before you go to her. She doesn't say a word, because she's locked up in her own world. We know she understands English and French because she reacts on what we say, even if it's in French."

Mike nodded. "Correct she can speak French."

"She's mentally unstable. We noticed that on several occasions. Situations that are too noisy, crowds, she even panics when she's being touched. Whatever we try we can't have contact with her. She does everything that we say, but we can't have a conversation with her", he said with a shrug.

Mike frowned and looked with huge questions to the doctor. "But, … how come?", he asked hurtfully.

"Later _mon capitaine_, later. Go first to her and let us see if you can get her out of her isolation." He waited an instance. "You're her closest relative as I understand", he said again with a faint smile on his face.

Mike looked at the three others with a risen eyebrow. They looked all of a sudden in a different direction.

"But be prudent. No rush, calm, let her make the moves. Otherwise I'm afraid she will lock her self up again and we will experience another crisis."

Mike nodded and opened the door to the lawn. With a little heart he went to one of the empty chairs next to the one of Kate. He passed behind her and sat down next to her. He looked at her and he almost didn't dare to breath. Kate didn't notice that there sat someone next to her and kept on staring to the Hammersley at the jetty.

_Oh my god, she didn't see me! Honey, what happened to you? You look so old._

"Katie?" said Mike soft.

"I'm back."

Kate didn't respond.

"Katie?", he tried again.

Kate dint speak or give a sign of recognition, but Mike noticed she was smelling.

"Mike." She said very faint without turning her head.

"Yes, Katie. It's me. Mike!", he said extremely exited.

"Mike, you've come back." She said softly and slowly and she turned her head towards him. He noticed tears in her eyes and his heart was about to jump out of his chest.

"I'm so happy I found you …", he said and took her hand, but all of a sudden she pulled her hand back and she seemed to shrink. He saw a panic in her eyes.

'_No rush, calm, let her make the moves'. The doctor said that. Is it that bad with her?_

_Ok, I'll let her come._

He let his open hand rest on the chair and waited. Then after a minute she put slowly hers in his and grabbed it firmly.

"Where did you stay so long?", she asked him as faint as before.

"Sorry Katie, we couldn't find you."

Meanwhile the doctor, the nurse and the three others were looking at the scenery.

"Yes, it seems to work!", said the doctor. "That's just fantastic. I've read about such quick reactions, but I've never seen it with my own eyes!"

Outside the couple sat for minutes together without saying anything just by holding their hands. Mike could see there came more and more life in Kate again.

"I'm taking you home. That's promised. But, I'm going to talk to the doctor now."

He wanted to rise, but she grabbed his arm.

"No Mike! No! Don't leave me again! No!", she said in panic with widened eyes.

"No, honey, no. I'm not gonna leave you." He said and looked to the window where the others were, hoping they understood that there was a situation.

Bomber was the first to understand it and reacted.

"No, that doesn't come good. She's panicking. We go to her." She opened the door and pulled Dutchy with her. "Come, you're her friend as well. She will be calm with us while the boss can talk to the doctor."

They took each a chair and went to the couple. Dutchy and Bomber sat down on both sides of Kate.

"Hey X? We're happy see you again!" , she said.

"Kate, how are you? You frightened us a tad!", Dutchy added.

Kate looked from one to another and a smile appeared on her face.

"Oh finally you've come!"

"X, we'll stay with you. The doctor just needs to talk to the boss."

That worked. Kate felt at ease with the two others so that Mike could go to the doctor to hear what he had to say.

He went inside and looked at Susan who was still waiting.

"Is she and are you ok boss?", she asked him.

"It looks like that. You were damn right! Thank you."

"Pleasure. What now?"

"I'm going to take her with me whatever it costs, but first I need to talk to the doctor."

Susan nodded. "Ok, I'll leave them here and return to the ship." She motioned with her head to Dutchy and Bomber outside.

He looked at the doctor who invited him with a gesture with his hand to his office. Mike entered and sat down in the chair that Doctor Denuit offered him. Nadette, the nurse, poured two cups of coffee for them. "_Un vrai café français, mon captaine_", she said and she left the office.

"Thank you", he said and he took a small sip. He lifted his eyebrows when he experienced the stronger taste of the French Expresso.

"Well Captain, I'm happy this case comes to its end here. I just saw something I almost couldn't image it would be reality. Your friend got out of her isolation. It looked to me that she didn't accept the situation in which she was in and that she was still waiting to the normal way of the things have to go. And that was apparently the appearance of you guys."

Mike nodded, sipping from his cup. "But,what happened to her?"

"Listen, you are a captain and captains don't like fairy tails. I'm going to tell you what we observed. What really happened is still a mystery for us. We can only divine based on the symptoms. Maybe you will hear the complete story soon or maybe the next year or even maybe never. It's possible she locks out what had happened.

The fact is that our army forces found her almost dead on a beach. She had no id card, no handbag, nothing. She was only wearing an extremely dirty dress. There under nothing. That made us already suspicious. She suffered from an internal bleeding possibly due to a hit with the but of a rifle. Next to that we noticed she had an alcohol intoxication and the worst was the heroin addiction."

Mike wanted to drink but his hand with the cup lingered in the air and he got pale.

"It took quite some time to get rid of that. But, don't be afraid. It's over. She will not have an influence of that anymore." He continued.

Mike had put his cup back. His appetite was over.

"That's it?" He asked prudent.

"Unfortunately not. Injuries on her abdomen pointed out that she has been raped more than once."

"Oh no! Poor girl", he said hurtfully.

"I'm sorry captain, it's the reality. We guess they made her stoned with alcohol and drugs to rape her. But I assure you, these injuries are cured too."

"And internally, is she still able to have kids?", Mike asked softly.

The doctor got a slight smile. "Her body is ok for kids, but mentally? I don't know. Listen mister Flynn, she's a strong woman. She recovered well, but I think you have to give her time. She must have had a horrible time, so give her security, let her feel she's not alone. That's the best healing advice I can give and let all happen at her own pace. She will come back, she will pick up the threat, for sure, but at her own pace. It could be quick, but it can take months before she's the old one again. But I repeat, don't force anything, because then there's a risk she'll lock herself up again."

Mike nodded and stroke through his hair. "Yeah, yeah. Can I take her home?"

"Sure! That's the first step in the healing process."

"Now?"

He smiled. "Of course." He took the phone to call the nurse. "Nadette, it's Bernard. Will you prepare the luggage of Luise? Merci."

"Louise?", asked Mike.

"Yes, Louise. We had to give her a name you see. There were no papers and she didn't say anything", he said smiling.

"Doctor, how can I thank you?"

"No problem. The French government took care of that. If your crew spent some money in our bars and restaurants, then it's fair enough for us."

"Hmm, knowing my men, I don't think that it would be a problem."

_I just hope that they are not too enthusiastic._

Later on when they stood in the hall to say goodbye to the hospital team. Kate stood next to Mike, unsure, not able to believe what was happening. Dutchy and Bomber stood a couple of meters behind them. Mike looked at his girl friend.

_I can't believe it. She's back. But how vulnerable she looks like. So thin in that humble, light blue dress. I want to pull her to my chest, but then I'm afraid she will panic._

They left the hospital and returned to the Hammersley. Bomber and Dutchy, carrying the sports bag of Kate, walked first and Mike and Kate came after. He didn't stop looking at her.

"Why are you looking so weird at me? It's just like you have seen a ghost." She said uneasy.

"Uh? Sorry, just can't believe you're back." He stammered.

Kate nodded as answer.

_Do I dream this? Yes probably. Instantly I'll wake up and I'll see the ceiling and the window of my small room of the hospital. It can't be true I'm walking right now to the Hammersley with Mike on my side._

"How are you now?", he asked her.

"Confused. Happy. I don't know. It's too much", she said wiping a few tears away.

"Did Bomber and Dutchy tell you something?"

"Oh yes, they were chewing my ears off. I know everything now. About your new XO, the story of the three men in the hospital, the airplane. It looks like Maxine found a good one."

He sighed. "Yeah, I've been lucky."

When they arrived the majority of the crew stood on deck but was amazingly quiet.

Susan stood at the gangway and saluted and shook afterwards her hand.

"Welcome on board, ma'am."

Kate looked surprised at her and answered her greetings.

Then the rest of the crew thronged around her to greet her. It was heart warming for her to feel so much friendship that tears ran down her cheeks again.

Mike turned to Susan who was observing with crossed arms. "They are so quiet. What's going on?"

"Oh, I told them what was going to happen and I spelled them a lesson to be quiet otherwise I was going to use them to sweep mines", she answered laconic.

"Thanks X, good job."

Susan went to Kate to get her attention.

"Ma'am, do you want to share my cabin with me?"

Kate looked at her suspicious. "Susan, why are you calling ma'am? We have the same rank you know."

"I'm sorry, but you have a higher …" But then she saw Charge gesturing to shut up and she stopped talking.

"That's ok," Kate stammered and her attention was attracted by Bird who wanted also to say hello.

"X, she doesn't know about her promotion!", Charge sizzled.

Susan hit her forehead. "Damn, stupid goat that I am. Of course. She doesn't know. Gosh what a gaffe!"

After all the welcomes Susan picked up Kate's little luggage and went with her to their cabin. She opened the door and let Kate enter. Once inside she put the sports bag on the desk.

"Kate, I'll make some space and I'll borrow you a set of towels and you can use whatever you see in the bathroom as shampoo, deo, whatever. I want to borrow you some cloths too, but I'm afraid you will swim in them", she said with a smile.

Kate looked around and a lump was forming in her throat.

_This ought to be my place. Now it's hers. How long is it ago that I left this place? I'm wondering what's going to happen with me? What am I going to do? For sure I lost my function here. But on the other hand, I can't imagine I can take up the thread again. . I'm changed._

_Everything of that last day comes back. For example our last conversation. It's etched in my brain. 'Mike, don't worry, we've done this earlier.' 'Okay, see you this evening.' My God, what a horrible and long afternoon was that ? 6 months? 7 months? I lost all sense of time. No, NO, don't think about what happened…_

Susan noticed new tears in her eyes and that a very sad glance appeared on her face. she wrapped her arm around her shoulders to comfort her, but she felt a shivering and released her.

"Sorry Kate, I just wanted to comfort you."

"It's ok, it's me, I'm just not ready for it yet", she said husky.

"Ok, I'll leave you for now. So you can be at ease. Install yourself, take a refreshment, whatever. I'll be at the bridge if you need me", Susan said.

"Thank you", Kate replied softly while she brushed softly with her hand over the desk.

The Hammersley sailed during the afternoon. Mike left the ship to the X and went to his cabin to report to Navcom. He sat down and threw a glance at her photo and noticed the dogtags on it.

Hmm, better take them away. If she sees them, she will experience all again.

He grabbed them and put them in the slide of his desk.

"Commander White speaking", answered Maxine on the other side.

"Maxine, it's Mike. We finished the courtesy visit and we are returning to the base."

"Ah Mike, how's it going? You sound much more cheerful now."

"Just great Max, just great. I found Kate."

"What? _What did you say?",_ she exclaimed so that everybody of the operations room looked to her office.

"Yeah Max, I found Kate. She's alive!"

"Mike?", she asked very suspicious.

"No Max, I'm absolutely serious. She's on board here and I'm bringing her back."

"My God, Mike, I can't believe it. How?"

"The guerrilla's have us believe that Kate was dead, but it's someone else. They took her in captivity. There has been no forensic investigation to prove it wasn't her. The cover up you remember?"

"Yeah, don't remind me to that, yes?", she grumbled.

"Mike?"

"Tell me."

"I'm very happy for you. Really! But, are you aware of all the consequences now? "

"Max, honestly, I don't care for the moment. I have her back and that's what counts for me now. I assume you will talk to the HR department?"

"Yeah Mike, yeah. I'll do it" she said with a sigh. "I'll see what I can fix."

Thank you very much mister Flynn!

"All right, till tomorrow!" And he hung up.

Maxine was still holding the phone horn in her hand and stared at blank.

_Kate alive! My goodness! If you see this in a movie you'll say it's exaggerated. And now we're dealing with it. Jesus!_

_How do we have to fix this? If I tell the nutcases of the HR department that they have to put a dead person back on the payroll, they will declare me 100% crazy. That means that Kate will get 7 months overdue salary. But she has no bank account anymore. But to open an account you need an identity card, but she hasn't anymore, because she doesn't even exist anymore in the National Register. What a mess! And what about her savings deposits. That went to the state and these have to come back, but as usual that takes time, more than time. The administration will become crazy. _

_And her house, that's also gone and all her personal belongings, like cloths, furniture, personal memories. _

_Gosh, she has nothing anymore!_

She put down the phone, let her elbows rest on the desk and covered her face with her hands.

_What … a … f*cking …. Mess!_

_The dead of Kate was a nightmare, but this one is one of another format and one that landed in my lap. Jesus!_

She lifted her head and noticed colour on her hands and sighed.

_Yeah, here we go again. I'm beginning to get used to it._

She stood up and took her handbag to head to the ladies room.

_Let's start with the easiest one. Getting her Lieutenant-Commander shoulder boards. And for tomorrow, I'll be at the quay and there will nobody who will stop me to do that, not even the Admiral of the Fleet. And I'll take my precautions, I'm not going to use make-up. Knowing the Hammersley capabilities, it will become a mess again!_


	19. Killed In Action Ch 19 Sailing Home

Chapter 19. Sailing home

That night the three officers sat together in the mess with their dinner. The climate was good, but all three didn't know exactly how to start with a conversation.

Mike looked at Kate who was eating but her thoughts were millions of miles away.

_You're not on track yet honey. I'm missing the usual twinkle in your eyes_

"Kate what happened to your hair there?" Mike started.

Susan's fork lingered in the air and she looked at him with a glance of you-don't-ask-that-now.

Kate looked at him with a glance of what-an-awkward-question-is-that-but-I'm-used-that -from-you.

"The rules of the hospital. Hygiene. Especially for long term patients", she said softly.

_Hmm, that was not a good kick-off looking at their faces._

"That's from the time we still had Nikki that we were here as three.", he tried again straightening his back.

"Your navigator?", replied Susan.

"Yeah", reacted Kate dreamily.

"You have to tell her too, you're back", Mike said.

Kate nodded. "Uh, hmm, yeah. Indeed. You're right. But, I don't know exactly how. I must begin to look forward again", she stammered.

Susan stood up. "I'm finished. And I have something to check. I think I'll leave you together", she said with a mysterious smile and left with her plate.

Kate looked at him. "Mike I would like to smell the sea and to feel the breeze. You coming?"

"Yeah, good idea."

They stood upright and put away their plates.

A bit later they stood next to each other outside and smelled the fresh sea wind. The bow of the Hammersley pointed to the west, straight to the sunset. It cleaved through the water and the bow wave looked fluoresced.

He looked at her.

"Honey, you can't believe how happy I am you're back", he said. He wanted to put his hand on the lower part of her back, but he hesitated. The words of the French doctor were still in his mind.

"Yeah, me too", she said softly.

He put his arm around her shoulder, but he felt a shivering whereby he pulled his arm back.

_Ouch, I'm going too fast. Dr Denuit said 'do it at her pace.'_

"Is that a good idea to do this here?", she asked him.

"How do you feel?", he asked ignoring her question.

Kate shrugged. "It's all a bit strange now. I have to start living again. It's like I start from scratch. All seemed so far away, Cairns, home, friends, fun, Navcom, the job and now it's so nearby. I can't catch it. It's too much", she ended with a sob.

"I'm so sorry darling that this had to overcome you. I should have gone ashore instead of you that afternoon."

"Don't say that!", she said huskily. "Then you would be dead now!" She looked fierce at him with glassy eyes. "I've seen what they have done with Lance." Her voice became higher. "They shot him a bullet in his head just like you smash a mozzy. It was horrible, I still have nightmares of it, but instead of Lance it's you I see killed." She started crying.

"Oh honey, it's over now, you're safe." He pulled her to his chest and this time she didn't protest.

Kate calmed down.

"You have been lucky then?"

"Lucky? You don't know what you say. I wished I was dead there. They took me to …"

Kate said angrily and huskily, but couldn't get further anymore and started sobbing again. Mike pulled her again to him.

After a few moments she continued, staring over the sea. "At a certain way I had some luck. I was too drunk and too stoned to realise what happened. I even can't remember who and how and how much they raped me", she said all of a sudden ice cold.

Mike was shocked, he felt how his stomach shrunk and wished he had not eaten a few minutes ago.

They stood at the railing for minutes without saying anything just holding their hands on the railing.

A few meters away as 2Dads was looking at them and all of a sudden he felt a huge yank on his collar and heard a very familiar voice snapping : "Here you rascal, leave them alone, will you. Give them the privilege of privacy, yes?"

"Aargh, yes, sorry X."

Susan had noticed him and pulled him away by his collar.

"Mike?" Kate asked softly.

"Yeah honey?"

"I'm getting the impression that the crew knows about us." She paused and looked at him.

He sighed. "Yeah, that's true. They noticed that I was completely off the planet and they worried. Dutchy told them what you meant to me. But we kept it good off the ship because nobody knew it."

"Hmm, how did they react?"

"Positive. They all found it extreme pity that it had overcome me."

"And Maxine?"

"Maxine? She suspected it, but as long as we kept it off the ship, she turned a blind eye. But, don't worry, she's on our side. She helped me to get through it."

They silenced and looked how it became more and more dark, then Kate started again.

"Why is Susan calling me madam? We are both Lieutenants. When I asked her about that she wanted to say something but she was interrupted and she got away as quickly as possible."

"Uh, … Kate, I …, listen …", he stammered.

"Come on Mike, spit it out", she said in her XO style.

_Hmm, she's getting her temper back._

He took a deep breath. "The day before you disappeared the Brass promoted you to Lieutenant-Commander. " He paused and looked at her.

He noticed that she looked shocked at him.

He continued. "Unfortunately Maxine got the message only after we entered the base again. Initially she didn't want to tell me because she didn't want to hurt me more, but it came to the surface and the whole crew knows also. I really didn't know how I had to tell you this. I wanted to wait until we were at home when we had a quiet moment, because all the events were quite emotional for you today." He saw that new tears were running down her cheeks. She bit her lip and turned away from him.

"Congratulations honey, but I thought you would be happy?" He wanted to give her a hug, but she lifted her hand.

"Give me a few seconds, please!", she said huskily.

She took a deep breath. "Sorry, of course I'm happy, although the circumstances are so weird. And I'm angry at myself. I'm crying from the least they tell me. I don't recognise myself anymore, but I can't help it. I just start crying", she said beaten.

Now she accepted his hug. "Honey it's the situation. You've a hard time and you became touchy for the moment. Too much emotions you see?"

Kate nodded while he wept the tears from her cheeks. "Tomorrow we're home", she said and a faint smile appeared on her face.

"And I'll be happy I can put on one of my own." She said while she took the skirt of her dress. "it's so dull. I'm tired to wear these, even the shoes. I've got nothing and the hospital provided me some, but they are all so monotonous. I'm just looking like a school girl with these flat shoes."

Then Mike realised what she just said and felt like the ground disappeared under his feet.

_Shit! She has nothing anymore! Everything is gone. My god, how do I have to tell her? How she will react?_

"Darling, I'm going to my cabin. All of a sudden I feel dog tired", she said softly.

"Yeah, I follow you. I've still some administration to do", he replied, all of a sudden happy that this conversation didn't continue. Now he had at least of couple of hours time to find a decent way to tell her.

Kate turned and walked back inside close followed by Mike.

Before they entered their own cabin, they kissed each other tender.

The next morning Kate left her cabin and knocked on Mike's door. She had put on another dress they'd given her in the hospital. It was the same kind of simple dress in pale yellow.

"Mike, it's me."

"Come in", she heard from the other side.

Kate entered and saw he was just pulling his grey t-shirt over his head.

He smiled at her when she closed the door.

_Many things have changed. This one for example. A couple of months ago it was 'Sir, it's me.' Now it's 'Mike, it's me.'_

"Hi honey, you slept well?", he asked and they gave each other a kiss.

"Immediately", she said convinced.

"Fine. You look good."

_Never thought that I would say that once again to her!_

"Come on! Don't laugh at me. It's as goody-goody as the previous one", she replied rolling her eyes.

"Oh? I just wanted to say that the person in the dress looked good."

"Hmm.

Darling, I wanted to ask you if you could send a email to Nikki to say I'm back. I would like to tell her that asap", she said fiddling with her fingers around a few items that were on Mike's desk.

"Right, I'll do it right now. You look over my shoulder?"

"Yeah."

Mike sat down, opened his laptop and activated the email software and started a new message.

**Dear Nikki,**

**I'm pleased to announce very good news as well.**

**Yesterday we found Kate back at Nouméa. She's alive and well.**

**Today, Wednesday, we're together back in Cairns.**

**See you later.**

**Bye.**

**Mike**

"What do you think?", he said looking up to her. She was looking at the message while she had her hands rest at his shoulders.

"That's ok to me", she said nodding.

"Ok, here we go." And he pushed the send button.

Kate looked up and saw the photo frame. "Hey, that's the one from your cupboard at home? You didn't have a picture of me at your desk previously?"

"No, I've put it there after the crew knew we had a relation. At that moment the Brass couldn't punish me that I broke the fraternization rules."

"And now?"

Mike shrugged. "I don't know, honestly. Shore posting? Another vessel?"

Kate nodded. "We'll see. Breakfast?", she said tapping with one hand on his shoulder.

"Yeah, splendid idea."

He stood upright and he put his hand at the lower part of her back to usher her to the door.

During the afternoon the Hammersley was approaching Cairns in bright sun light. Susan was navigating the vessel to the base and Mike paced around at the bridge. Kate hung around as well, observing everything as pass time. On one hand she wanted to participate and on the other hand she discovered that she was still too much side tracked by her own situation. The pacing was working on Susan's nerves.

"Boss, can't you sit down in your chair? I can't concentrate and I don't want to run aground on a reef in front of the whole base!", she snapped at him.

He grumbled and went to stand in front of the windows. _She's capable to drag me outside by my collar. No wonder her nickname is 'bull'._

_Pff, how do I have to explain Kate what happened with her stuff?_

From time to time he threw a glance at Kate. He noticed that sometimes she wanted to remark something, but at other moments he saw also that she was completely preoccupied by her own thoughts and that she didn't see anyone around her.

Kate, got nervous too and got out on the outer bridge to look how Cairns came closer.

_Gosh, never thought I would see this again! What do I long for a long hot shower, my own bed, wandering in the city from one shop to another. Preparing some food in my kitchen for both of us. Sitting on the couch, curled up to him._

_Yes, I can start again. Everything what I've dreamt of the last months becomes reality. It's feasible, so close. I can't believe it! I'm going to enjoy every second. Together. Yes, together. I don't want to wait any longer. I want to move on with him. Doing what I wished to do. Building a family. Family? Family means kids. Sex.. _

A shivering ran down her spine. She looked down at her hands and her smile changed to gloomy.

_Oh my god, I hear that ugly voice again. 'You are going to give us pleasure'. 'And now it's for free.' I feel that pain again in my lower abdomen. Images flash through my memory. I can't do anything. They were holding my hands and the whole world turned around me. I was too drunk and stoned to do anything._

She clutched the railing, squeezed her thighs and closed her eyes. A lump was forming in her throat.

I feel panic when I think that someone touches my body and I don't even want to think about going a step further.

_My god, is he going to accept that?_

_What's that? Someone touches me. My heart stops!_

Meanwhile Mike went out to have a chat with Kate because inside he was not welcome. He couldn't stand still and Susan had kicked him out with her eyes. One more step and he had received a slap around his ears from her.

He went to Kate and put his hand on her shoulder.

"Honey…"

"_Whoeha!"_

"Ouch. Katie, I'm sorry. I didn't want to frighten you", he said pulled quickly back his hand.

"_Oh Mike!, _my heart stopped when you touched me!. Can't you announce that?", she said trembling.

_Hmm, what's going on with her? She's not the old one._

"I'm so sorry Mike, the nerves I think", she said while she placed her hand on his arm.

"It's okay, honey, it's okay", he replied while he put his hand on top of hers.

When the Hammersley came close to the quay they noticed that Maxine was already waiting for them.

"High visit for you I guess", said Mike poking Kate who stood still next to him. The closer they came Kate became more and more quiet.

From the moment the ship was securely moored and the gangway was installed Maxine went on board while Mike and Kate went down to the deck.

"Hi Max, thanks for waiting for us", said Mike saluting her and shaking her hand afterwards.

"Pleasure", she said and looked at Kate.

_Pfwew, what happened to you? My god!_

"Kate! I'm really happy to have you back. Honestly. You don't want to know what we've done to keep your man keeping on going", she said honestly and she took Kate's upper arms with both hands and gave her a squeeze.

_Gosh, I feel tears pricking behind my eyes. This barely overcomes me._

Kate threw and uncontrolled glance at Mike who was seeming to remove a spot from the desk with the tip of his boot.

'_My man' she said._

"Thank you!" , she answered Maxine.

"How are you actually?", Maxine asked suspiciously.

"Oh fine, but quiet. There's too much to experience, you see." Kate replied.

"Fine, fine, I understand. Kate, can I see you tomorrow at my desk? You too Mike", Maxine said looking from one to the other.

"Yes, sure ma'am." Kate answered.

"Yeah, will do", Mike said as well.

When Maxine turned, Mike called her back.

"Maxine?"

"Hmm, yes?"

"Didn't you forgot something today?"

She frowned. "What?"

"Make-up", he said with a grin.

"You rascal!", she snapped and shook her fist in his direction.

Meanwhile Susan has also arrived at the small group and frowned when she saw how Maxine shook her fist to Mike.

_What has he figured out that she react like this? Was he really playing pranks on her?_

"Boss, the crew wants to celebrate the retrieval of Kate with a drink tomorrow in their favourite bar", she said looking at them both.

"Hmm, good idea, not?", he answered while looking at Kate who nodded.

"Right, tell them we will be there."

"Ok boss", Susan left them to return to the bridge.

Mike looked at Kate. "You know the habits here, isn't it? Give me some time and we can go home as well."

Kate nodded.

One hour later. Mike closed his laptop and looked at Kate who was sorting requests for all kind of supplies going from fuel over towels to food like she used to do. In the distance they heard Susan who was spelling someone a lesson.

"She doesn't stop huh?", she said with a smile.

"No, indeed. She's the third engine on board here. Without her the Hammersley was at the bottom of the sea", he said looking at the wall in the direction of her voice.

"Was it that bad?", Kate asked him while she put away her pencil.

"Come darling, we go home", he said ignoring her question, getting up in the meanwhile. "You have your luggage?"

She motioned with her head to the small sports bag. "If you call that luggage?", she said ironically.

**Navcom**

After Mike and Kate have left Maxine at the quay, she went back to her office.

She sat down and rubbed her chin, staring at blank at the things on her desk.

_What a story. If I would tell this to someone else, nobody would believe me. _

_Kate. Pfft, I don't know what happened to her, but she doesn't look good. She has a long way to go before she's back where she was almost a half year ago. Damn!_

_We haven't been the best friends since I took over from Marshall, but this situation brought us closer. It's awful that such a nasty situation was needed to bring people to each other. I cared more for her than I thought._

_What went wrong?_

_Everything!_

_First we underestimated the gravity of the situation at Espirito Santo. We had to send a stronger force to there. The teams on shore were too small for these opponents. Mike had to know that. And neither did Kate. She has split up her teams also._

_Then, my request for the accusation was bluntly refused. Why for God's sake didn't they execute a forensic investigation? That's a standard procedure when the victims are not recognisable anymore. These body bags were brought away and I haven't heard about it anymore. Fairfax made me clear that it was taken over by the government._

_Thus it wasn't his idea to burke it._

_If that forensic test had been done, we would have known that it's wasn't Kate and then we could have sent the SAS to there to get her out. She has to consider herself fortunate that she's still alive._

_Someone has to pay for this! _

_Maxine got a smile on her face._

_I'll call Fairfax. He's has the power to floor these politicians._

She looked for his number in the phone list on her pc and dialled him.

"Hi Admiral, you speak with Commander White from Cairns", she said.

"Ah, yes Commander, I'm in a meeting, but tell me", she heard at the other end.

"Admiral, you remember the Espirito Santo case with the two murdered sailors?"

"Hmm, yes. What about?", he said somewhat annoyed.

"The officer wasn't dead sir, we found her back and she's alive. Actually she's back in Cairns", Maxine said with a grin. She was happy that Fairfax couldn't see her.

"I see. Listen Commander, I'm in a meeting now and I'll call you back later today, but in the meanwhile you do nothing, ok?", he replied firmly and closed the connection.

"Ok sir", Maxine answered rather surprised about his reaction.

She continued with her work, mainly the administration for Kate, but her thoughts were still by the completely failed operation.


	20. Killed in Action Ch 20 Cold shower

Chapter 20. Cold shower

30 Minutes later, Mike parked the car at his house. He got out, took their bags, unlocked the front door and stepped aside to let her in. He followed and kicked the door in the lock with his foot.

"The paint!", she grumbled, looking over her shoulder.

He put down the bags and noticed how she stood still, closing her eyes and picking up the smell of the house.

"For months I tried to remember the scent of the house, but it became weaker and weaker ", she said dreamily. She looked around and her glance stopped at the latest photo frame of her with her uniform hat next to it.

"Hey, you have a new one. Gosh, what a big one!", she remarked surprised and walked to it. Kate took the frame and looked at it. It showed her in a thin summer dress with loose hair leaning against a bunk in the garden of his parents. She put it back and took her hat.

"Darling, what is my hat doing on your sideboa rd?", she asked with a questioning glance.

"Uh, yeah, I missed you. Are you ready for a big hug?", he ignored her question softly.

"Hmm, sorry darling, I am not sure yet", she answered a bit embarrassed and put the hat back.

"Ok, no problem. Do it at your pace", he said lifting a hand. " Something to drink? I've always a bottle of your favourite wine in the fridge."

"No thank you. No wine. A juice or so? Mike, you're so kind to bring me here, but can you drive me home please? I want to get rid of these", she asked with a slight smile while she pulled at the skirt of the dress with her hands in each direction.

He stopped in his walk to the kitchen and turned towards her.

_Yeah, here's the moment I was really scared off. I can't get around anymore!_

"Uh, … honey, … there's a problem" he said looking at her.

She looked at him with a glance of how-can-this-be-a-problem.

"Honey, there's no home anymore…", he said sad.

"How? I don't understand", she said frowning.

"Sweetie, it doesn't exist anymore."

"Uh? How ...? What?" Kate got pale and upset. "A fire? A tornado?"

"No… we had to empty it. You were … dead….", he stammered.

Kate got even more pale and her eyes got a panic glance. "_What? What did you say? Me... dead? Dead! What?",_ she exclaimed in panic.

He took her shoulders and tried to pull her to his chest, but she was too upset to let him to..

"Honey, calm down, calm down. I'll try to explain."

"_How… How can I calm down? I just heard that I have nothing anymore and that I am supposed to be dead. Oh my god! Great! That's really great!_", raged Kate, completely shocked

Then she sank down on the couch and started crying again. Mike sat down next to her, wrapping his arm around her shoulders and pulling her to his chest. He said nothing,just keep on sitting there. She sobbing and he holding her.

"Mike?" , asked Kate faintly.

"Honey?", he said tender.

"I feel empty, really empty. All these months I kept myself alive with the thought that the Navy was looking for me. Now I hear you all thought I was dead. If I had known that before I died there because I wouldn't have had the willingness anymore to survive because nobody was missing me", she answered extremely sad.

Mike's heart stopped beating for a few seconds, hearing this. "Honey, that's not true. Everybody was missing you. You let a gap behind you on board. It's a miracle you're back among us now. We were all convinced you were dead, because we buried you…"

"_Oh, it becomes even better now! I've … I've been buried with a funeral and …and all that kind of things. I … I guess …I have a … a grave stone as well?",_ she sobbed.

"Uh … yes, … there is."

"_Oh noooo_!", she moaned and covered her face with her hands and started crying again.

After a few minutes she calmed down, but replied irritated. "And you couldn't see that that body wasn't me?"

Mike felt a sparkle that Kate was ready for an explanation, although he didn't know what happened on her side apart from the fact that Lance was murdered.

"Darling, we found three bodies which were completely carbonised. The only elements that we had were a few remains of the uniforms and the weapons. The final proof we had were the dog tags and … your ring. It was still attached to the chain with the dog tags."

She looked at him startled with wet eyes and cheeks.

"Well goddamn! These assholes were smarter than I thought", she answered angrily.

"How?", asked Mike.

Kate took a deep breath and started talking about her sufferings she had gone through while looking at her hands. "I told you they shot Lance and I thought I was the next one, but they forced me to undress. I had to put everything down, even my boots. Awful, I stood there, just in my underwear and all these bastards were staring at me. Then they brought the farmer's wife and I had to put on her dress and shoes. The leader also pulled the chain with dog tags from my neck on which the ring was attached to and I thought it was for his own profit. When they guided me away but I had the chance to see how they dressed the body with my uniform and I thought that it was obvious that you guys would immediately see it wasn't me.

But there came no team, …

not the day after, …

not the week after, …

no more…." Her voice faded away and she wiped another few tears away.

"It was impossible to recognise them. They were poured over with petrol and then lighted. And now I remember that I saw dark clouds from a fire above the island."

"Mike, there's still something that I don't understand. If they found bodies in such a state, then there's always a forensic investigation, not?", she asked faint.

"That's just the point. Maxine wanted to accuse the government of that island for murder, but she got some blows around her ears from the admiral himself. It was political not appropriate to proceed with the case. They were afraid that other countries would accuse them of acts of globalisation. The government didn't want to loose its face against the other nations in this part of the world. So, it has all been covered up k. No press, no medals, no ceremony, nothing." He said embittered.

"Crap, I've been thrown away just like litter. Nice! And for that establishment we risk our lives? It's due to the fact I like the sea and the Navy otherwise I would resign and start something else!", she said gloomy.

"Yeah, I guess you're right", he said with a sigh.

Both sat next to each other at the couch. He with his elbows on his knees and his hands clutched, she against the back of the couch with her head on it and her eyes closed. For minutes they didn't move, processing the things that have been said and thinking how to proceed.

"Now I start to understand why you looked at me like I was a ghost and why everyone was so happy to see me. It was not a surprise to me, but I felt there was more I couldn't explain. Now I can", she said faint.

"Mike?", she asked softly after a few minutes. "I think I still can't catch it completely. Does it mean I have nothing, … really nothing anymore? No house, no furniture, no car, no money, no identity and all my little things gone?"

"Uh… yes and no in fact."

"What do you mean with that?"

"When we started to empty your house Maxine advised me to go around and keep some souvenirs. So, I have a few boxes. I'll get them for you. "

"Oh?" Kate looked surprised.

"Want something to drink to wash it all away ?"

"No thanks. I've got enough for the rest of my life. I even can't smell or taste it anymore!", she said dull.

"Hmm, I understand."

"No, you can't. Only when you experience that they force you to drink to get drunk each time, then you can understand." She said embittered.

"Oh, I'm so sorry darling. I didn't know. Uh,… I'm getting the boxes."

Mike left the living room to pick up the boxes which stood in a spare room.

_What a mess! I don't want to stand in her shoes right now. She tumbles from one nightmare into another. And what have they done to her? It seems it doesn't stop. That's the reason she grew so much older these last months. And the twinkle in her eyes is also gone. If I can have these assholes in my hands, I'll kill them one by one and I'm damn sure of what I'm saying!_

When he came back he saw that Kate was standing in the living room and that she was looking at all the small objects put all over the place. It was like she discovered them for the first time. He put the two boxes on the table.

"So, here they are."

Kate turned and walked towards the table. She stopped, looked at them but couldn't control her emotions and started crying again.

"_Two boxes. My whole life? My whole life in two boxes?_ What do I mean? _Nothing_!" She exclaimed between the sobs.

"Honey, you mean a lot to me you know!", he said trying to comfort her, rising his hand to put around her shoulders.

"Mike! Leave me for a few minutes, will you?", she snapped at him with a raw voice lifting her hand towards him to to keep some distance between them.

Mike did a step back and sighed.

"Ok, honey, do it at your pace. If you need me, I'm in my office", he said and left the living room.

Kate looked at the boxes for a few instances. She took a deep breath, wiped her tears away with a groan and then opened carefully the first box, afraid of what she would find inside. On one hand afraid for her own emotions, but on the other hand anxious to see her things back and curious to know how Mike wanted to remember her.

The first box contained the items he had chosen from the living room. One by one Kate took them from the box looking at them, nodded and put them on the table. Photo frames, small postures, small objects or art she bought in the ports from abroad, some photo books, some of her cooking books with her own written remarks.

Kate opened the second box and found her jewellery box which she opened. All her little things were still there. She put it apart and took her perfume bottle which she opened and sniffed on it and smiled. Then she found one of her wrist watches which she put immediately on her arm. She looked again and could do nothing else than smile. She saw her official and daily white uniform, complete with the medals and the according white shoes, but it was so nicely folded that she suspected that Maxine had done it instead of Mike with his two left hands. Kate found other nice cloths of her, a handbag and a couple of shoes and finally she started to giggle when she found the famous blue dress with the according pumps of their special evening.

"You're so cute", she mumbled wiping again a few tears away.

She walked to Mike's office and noticed that he sat behind his laptop. Kate caressed his hair and neck and he turned towards her and took her on his lap.

"Sorry darling, it was not fair of me to be so rude. It was like a cold shower. I had my expectations and all of sudden I had to discover there was nothing anymore", she said softly.

"I understand. I didn't know how to tell you that. Since yesterday I've been fighting with that", he confessed caressing her back.

"Yeah, I thought there was something. That was not your normal behaviour. Susan did almost throw you overboard", she said with a grin.

"Yeah for sure. And she has the power to do that too. She's capable to run a frigate", he said caressing her back.

"Hmm, I've heard the stories about her famous power."

"But, I'm happy with what's in the boxes. Now I have a bit of my life back. And I appreciate the way how you wanted to remember me. You're so cute." And she gave him a kiss.

"Now I'm going to take a shower and …", Kate looked at her watch, "Can we go out for some shopping afterwards?. I need some new things, you see.", she said with a lifted eyebrow.

"Yeah fine."

Kate did two steps, stopped and turned half to Mike.

"And now I know immediately what you didn't like from my wardrobe."

"Uh, why?", he asked with a questioning glance over his face.

"Easy, the things that are _not_ in the boxes!", she replied with a smirk.

"Hmm, you'll never change, do you?"

Kate grinned.

"Oh, by the way, Nikki replied to my mail", he said lifting his finger.

She stopped in the doorway. "Hey, what did she say?"

"Not that much. Just '**I COME'**. That was all."

"Indeed, that's not much", she replied slightly nodding.

"But, Mike, when I have my money back, I'll pay you back", she said convinced.

"Honey, if you dare that, then I'll send you back to Nouméa."

"Hmm, now I'm scared", she replied with a grin and left to the bathroom.


	21. KIA Ch 21 Looking forward again

Chapter 21. Looking forward again

**Maxine**

She entered her apartment still wondering why Fairfax hadn't called her back yet. Maxine changed in civvies went to the kitchen to prepare herself some supper.

She took a pork steak and some vegetables from the fridge. While she was cleaning the vegetables her mobile started to ring. With an onion in her hand she walked to the dining table where her mobile laid.

"Maxine White speaking", she answered while turning the onion around in her fingers.

"Commander, Admiral Fairfax here. I'll call you back concerning the Esperito Santo case", he said.

_Finally!_

"Yes sir, Lieutenant-Commander McGregor is has been found on Noumea and she's alive and well. If an investigation on the bodies had been done, we should have known that she was still alive somewhere and then we could have set up a rescue operation. I'm wondering if you could help us to blame the politician who ordered the cover up", she said letting the onion bounce up and down in her hand.

"She's back huh?. Hmm a bit nasty", the Admiral mumbled.

"Pardon me?", Maxine said astonished.

"Commander I think you still didn't understand it. Australia cannot afford an incident like this. A violation of another country by our troops is not appropiate. We are, together with New Zealand, the only white countries in this part of the world and it's extremely important that we stay befriended with all the others. That she's alive causes some more risks. She can talk to the press or her commanding officer can do that or even the crew. That story is for the press pure gold, first page news."

"But Admiral, you are a sailor too, you have to understand that the Navy cannot accept that kind of manipulations with our people!", she replied fiercely, clenching the onion.

"Watch your attitude, Commander!", he snapped back.

"Admiral!"

"Listen Commander, I'm at the point to take up a position at the Ministry of Defence and an accusation will discredit my reputation. I know that you are in the running for your fourth band. So if you don't want to end up behind a desk as chief of the Navy Archive, you'd better close this case. And see to it that your Lieutenant-Commander and her commanding officer keep their mouths shut. She can be declared unfit for active duty and he can rust fast on his boat. I know that Flynn is the candidate to take over Navcom after your promotion. So Commander, I think I've been clear enough. If you really want to make some more damage, then go for it."

Maxine was shocked, she couldn't believe her ears. Moreover she was persuaded that she heard a slight joyfulness in his last sentence.

"Commander?", he asked her.

"Uh, yes sir, understood", she quickly answered.

"Great! We understand each other then. It's more complex than sailing a vessel you know. This is business. You'll give something and you'll get something. Good evening Commander."

"Bye… Admiral", she said still in shock.

Maxine looked to her mobile with disbelief, not exactly understanding what she has just heard.

"Goddamn! Asshole!", she yelled and she threw the onion with such a force into her kitchen. The vegetable bumped onto the cupboard and rolled back to her feet.

She bent and took it from the ground. Maxine went back to the kitchen, pulled away the peel of it, took a knife and started to chop it with such a force to work her anger off.

She didn't know if the tears that ran down her cheeks came from the onion or from her anger and frustration or from both. She threw the knife in the sink and rushed out to her terrace to get some fresh air.

_Asshole. I'm blocked. I can't go in any direction. If I don't care about my career then he's going to destroy the one from Mike and Kate, just only to save his seat in the Ministry. Damn!_

_I have to tell Mike quickly before he screws it up for us all!_

**Mike & Kate**

They spent the whole afternoon with wandering through the streets of Cairns, going from one shop to another. Both were carrying several bags containing t-shirts, blouses, underwear, trousers, dresses, skirts, shoes and other things Kate needed to pick up the threat again. Then Mike stopped at the jewellery shop.

"Mike? I want to look for a coat as well. If it rains, I'll get completely soaked", she said.

"That can wait. We need to be here as well. Come", he replied with a smile.

"Mike, no, that's not the intention", she said embarrassed.

"Yes, I insist on it. The previous one has been completely damaged. You need a new one", while ushering her into the shop.

Later on they went to a small restaurant in town. They took place in front of eachother in a cosy corner. Kate wanted to cook something for them both, but he had convinced her for a diner.

"Honey I understand your urge to prepare something for both of us, but tonight it's our first evening together on shore and I want to celebrate that. There's plenty of time on the other days to prepare something for us in the kitchen, you know."

"Yes, you're right, but a diner on top of this all? And then this ring? That diamond has cost you a fortune!", she said embarrassed while she was fiddling with her ring on her finger.

"For you there's nothing too much. You are my fortune", he said while he took her hands.

"Stop it, you let me blush!"

"Katie, I want to marry you! And if I could, tomorrow . I don't want to loose you anymore."

Kate looked at him with glassy eyes and a few tears ran down her cheeks.

"Look what you do to me again", she said upset.

"Don't cry sweetie. That's nothing for you", he said tender.

"I know, but I can't help it. I'm too touchy these last days", she said with a sniff while she searched for a tissue in her handbag.

"Mike, you are so gentle, so cute to propose, but …", she took a deep breath.

"But?", he repeated softly because he wanted her to continue.

"Are you aware of what they've made of me? What I've become? I'm not the same anymore as a couple of months ago. Now I'm the same as that slut of a mother of mine", she said suspicious.

"Honey, no! Don't say that. Your mother did that because it was her own choice. They forced you. You are absolutely not the same as her. You are still exactly the same for me as before this all happened. I … love … you!", he said squeezing slight her hand.

Kate closed her eyes and bent her head a little so that it looked like she was looking at the table cloth. She was trying the recompose herself but could not help that a few tears escaped from under her eye lashes and made dark spots on the table cloth.

"Thank you Mike. You're a man with a big heart. I love you too and I can't image marrying someone else. Yes, I accept your offer!", she said with a twinkle in her eyes.

"Katie, you're making me tremendous happy! How do you want it? You may choose!", he said caressing her cheek.

"Oh! Classic, very classic! When I was a young girl I dreamed already to marry in a long white dress. Not a quick-and-go or a known-by-nobody-and-in-the-middle-of-nowhere", she answered with a smile.

"Of course. I assume we're going to invite the crew too?"

"Redundant question my dear, complete redundant!"

He grinned.

After their dinner they drank a few cappuccino's and they left with all their purchases.

They kept on chatting about everything until they arrived at Mike's place again. After t Kate had put her new things in the wardrobe, they stood facing each other.

"Darling, the bed is all yours, I know you had a difficult time and that you need time to get used to feel someone else next to you in bed again. Take your time, I'm going to sleep on the couch", he said while he took a pillow.

"But Mike…"

He put his finger on her lips. "Honey, do it at your pace. I have time." He gave her a kiss and went to the living room.

His mobile rang and he feared for a crash sail.

_Not now!_

He walked to the cupboard grabbing the noisy thing.

"Max?", he asked when he saw who his caller was.

"Mike, it's me. Are you alone?", Maxine asked.

"Uh yeah, why?", he said looking at his watch.

"Hmm, it's rather painful", Maxine sounded hurtfully.

"Huh?"

"I'll be short. I've got a message from the Admiralty that we and that means you and Kate too, that we have to keep her return silent. If the press hears about it, then it will cost all of us our careers", she said beaten.

"Hmm, it doesn't surprise me. Don't worry Max, the most important for me is that I have Kate back and I'm not going to do something that will hurt her again", he said.

"Oh, thank you! Ok, I'll leave you now. We'll see each other tomorrow morning", Maxine replied relieved.

"Yeah Max, good night."

He shook his head.

_Typically for the Brass. They are really loosing all contact with us, sailors._

He grimaced when he looked at the couch.

He wrestled to get his body on the couch that was shorter than his own length. After a couple of grumbles he found a position that was more of less comfortable.

In the bedroom Kate changed into her new nightdress and lay in his bed sensing the sheets and the environment. She looked at the ceiling in the darkness. Only a few shines from the street lights peaked through the curtains and set the room in a mysterious shine. She couldn't get asleep although she was so tired after all the events of the day.

_When was it when I lay in this bed? His bed. Our bed now! 8 months ago? It looks an eternity to me. It's weird, there were just 8 months between, but it looked to me as it were years. _

…

_What a turbulent day today! In the beginning of the week there was nothing. Everything seemed to be a dream and now it's there, it will come soon and it is. _

…

_I can't catch it. It's like my brain is too small. _

…

_Yesterday we were all of a sudden back together. _

…

_Today I discovered I've been dead. _

_I discovered that I have lost everything I collected in my whole live. _

…

_Then Mike popped up with boxes that contained the majority of nice souvenirs of me, so I have a bit of my personality back. _

…

_I received a complete new wardrobe. Something a girl could only dream of. _

…

_On top of it I received an engagement ring and a proposal which I accepted. _

…

_No wonder I can't sleep!_

_What time is it?_

Kate turns to the alarm clock.

_Pfft, 2 o'clock in the morning. I'm lying here already for two hours without sleeping._

…

_Marriage! _

…

_A dress. _

_Where? In the shopping centre, there's a shop. But first I need to have my money back. I can't expect Mike is going to pay for that too._

…

_Guests. _

_Who? His parents. Our friends, the crew. _

_From my side? Only friends._

…

_I will get his name. _

_Kate Flynn. _

_Hmm, sounds a bit strange at the moment. Always hoped it could be and now it is._

_Now you can do what you wished. Building a family. _

…

_But you need two to build a family._

Kate fossilized all of a sudden.

She sighed.

_Katherine Elisa McGregor, listen!_

_If you want to build a family you need to be two! _

_Therefore you have to learn that lying in bed next your own man is harmless, not dangerous, on the contrary, it's cosy and it's fun. When you've learned that, you have to learn the next lesson. _

_Otherwise there will be no family at all._

_Now, go and get him from that bloody couch!_

Kate pulled the sheets back and went to the living room. There she saw Mike sleeping at the couch in an awful angle.

_Oh my god, my heart breaks. Poor devil. Tomorrow he will be broken._

She went to him and shook softly his shoulder.

"Mike?"

"Darling?"

"Hmm?", he mumbled.

"Darling, it's not going to work like this. It looks like we've had a fight already, even before we are married. Come to bed, it's much more comfortable overthere", she whispered.

"Uh,… you're … sure?", he mumbled.

"Yes, definitely!"

He got up and followed her to the bedroom. Mike went in bed on his side and she on hers. Once in bed she shuffled up to him so that she could feel him and he laid his hand on her thigh. Within a minute she was asleep.


	22. KIA Ch 22 Her first day back

Chapter 22. Her First Day Back

Mike woke up first. He realised he was not alone in bed and felt her tender body next to him. The sun was peaking through a slit of the curtains and threw a special light in the room. He looked at her and noticed her face was relaxed and in peace. Much more relaxed than the past two days. He didn't want to move, afraid to wake her up. Her sight was precious and he just wanted to enjoy it a little bit longer.

Finally he woke her up softly.

"Honey, wake up. Maxine is expecting us", he said, tenderly striking a few locks of hair from her face.

"Hmm, a little longer. I still feel so tired", Kate mumbled and stretched her body out meanwhile.

"Just stay in bed a little longer. I'm going to take a shower", he said.

"Hmm", she said while stretching again.

Some time later, Mike was preparing breakfast with some bacon and coffee when he heard her voice from the bedroom.

"Smells good!", she yelled.

"Yeah, it's ready", he answered back.

Kate appeared in her white uniform, blouse and trousers.

"Oh? Already in uniform? I assumed you would love to go in civvies?"

"Why? As far as I know I'm not on sick-leave nor on holiday? "

"Hmm, you're right. How does it feel?", he replied with a slight nod.

"Back home!", she replied with a smile.

During breakfast they talked about how to organise their day and what Maxine would have to say. Afterwards they put the cups and the dishes in the sink and he looked at his watch. "Time to go, I think."

He took his visor cap, his walled and the car keys when he heard a curse coming from the bedroom.

"Honey what's up?", he asked looking in the direction of the bedroom.

Kate came back from the bedroom on her bare feet with her white shoes in the hand.

"Crap! I forgot to buy white socks yesterday."

Mike shrugged. "Then go without. Nobody at Navcom will make a point of it. There's no top-brass to nag about it. Moreover it's not that cold today that your toes will freeze off."

"If you say so", she said doubtfully while she slipped her feet in the shoes.

In the car Mike looked at her ankles when she was tying the laces. "I must admit, the view of your bare ankles with these white shoes is quite sexy", he teased her.

"Oh stop it! This afternoon, I'll buy thick woollen socks and then your fun will be over", she replied with a grin.

At Navcom they went to Maxine's office, although that wasn't an easy case. Everybody who knew Kate took the opportunity to wish her welcome again. Finally they succeeded to reach Maxine's office and knocked on the door.

"Ah! Come in", Maxine sounded cheerful.

"Mike, Kate, did you both had a relaxed night?", she asked.

"Yeah, we may not complain", Mike answered.

"Well, it will become better every day when you will get more and more used to things again", she replied with a smile.

She looked at Kate. "Kate, I notice that your uniform is not correct."

Kate looked shocked and blood rushed to her cheeks. Tears were pricking behind her eyes.

_Damn Mike, you said nobody would nag about it and now I've got it already!_

"Sorry ma'am, I haven't had the time to buy socks," she said unsure in defence.

Maxine was a bit surprised seeing her like that.

_Ouch, she's not the old one again. I don't know her like that. I'd better put her on sick-leave._

"No, no. I don't mean that. I mean your shoulder boards are not according to your rank", Maxine replied with a smile.

She opened a file and handed over the two boards to Kate who was not a little bit surprised.

"Oh? Uh. I … I thought that… Thank you ma'am," she stammered.

"Never mind Kate. Don't worry about socks. He didn't put them in the boxes", she explained while looking straight to Mike.

"I am even surprised to see you in uniform already today."

"Kate, you've been promoted to Lieutenant-Commander about seven months ago. The document was signed the day before you got missing, but it was several days later that I received it. So, there was no way I could have told you earlier." She said ill-at-ease.

"Anyhow. Congratulation Lieutenant-Commander!", Maxine said now more cheerful.

"With this rank you understand that you can't be an executive officer on board of a patrol boat anymore. So I'll look for another function for you, but before that, you have to have yourself checked by our doctors."

"Ma'am, I'm fine", Kate replied.

"Kate, I'm not asking, I'm ordering. I want to be sure that my people are fit. And it's good for your inner peace too," Maxine said determined.

Kate looked down at her hands and nodded.

Maxine looked at her.

_Kate you're too quick beaten at the moment. Reinvent yourself!_

"Concerning the logical issues" and she glared an instance to Mike who dropped that problem on her lap before she looked at Kate.

Kate had her attention again. "Everything has started. You're back on the payroll. I had to threaten them with Court Marshall they should do that immediately. From the moment you have your bank account back, the past months of salary will be deposited. What concerns the bank, you have to pay them a visit to reopen your account with a couple of signatures. Several official declarations have been made by the Brass to indicate you are not dead so that you will get your savings back. I've been told it would be a matter of a week from the moment you signed the papers. Your identity card was a bigger problem. Official requests by the ministry and that kind of things, many phone calls, but at the end you will get an invitation to pick up your new one. So, everything is rolling. The adminstrative things will be ok by next week. The only thing that we have to wait for is what the doctor is going to say about your physical and mental condition. Until further notice you are on leave. I guess you have to catch up a lot of things and to settle down? Or not?" And by the last sentence she looked from Kate to Mike and back.

"Uh yes, indeed," replied Kate.

"Mike, I know you want to take your shore position back and that's something I want too, but for the moment you will continue as CO of the Hammersley with Lieutenant Dufour as XO."

Mike nodded.

"Uh, one last thing." She looked at Kate. "The body in your …. uh … grave … has been exhumed."

Kate made a face hearing about 'her grave'.

"A forensic investigation pointed out that it was the farmer's wife. I couldn't resist to report all this to the admiral who has put the case in the cover up," she said with a smirk.

"And what happens to that … uh … stone?", Kate asked unsure.

"Oh, don't worry, it will be removed."

She looked at both of them. "All right people, that's it for now. See you soon."

They stood up and wanted to leave when Mike turned and looked at Maxine.

"Max, does your evening dress still fits you?"

"Uh? What for a question is that ?", she answered clearly irritated.

"Oh quite easy. Just to announce we're going to marry and that you will be invited," he said laconic.

"Well, that's great news! And I'll take this as a nice excuse to buy me a new one! When will it be?", she sounded all of a sudden enthusiastic.

"We don't know exactly. Soon! But first I've to resolve some logical issues. Getting my money back so I can buy a wedding dress", Kate answered.

"Mike looked at her. "I'll buy one for you."

"No, I'll pay for it."

"Honey, I insist, you'll get one from me."

"No Mike! I said no. I've got already so much from you."

"Well that dress doesn't make the difference."

"Well, it does! I can't bear anymore I'm getting everything from you. That's not fair. I'm going to pay my own dress", Kate replied agitated.

Maxine was looking from one to another, first amused, but then a bit embarrassed.

"Ahum?"

Both looked at her.

"May I ask you to continue the yes-no discussion outside my office? And do I witness your first fight?", she said dryly.

"Uh … yes, you're right. Bye then", they stammered and looked at each other sheepishly while leaving the office.

"I mean it, you'll get that from me", he whispered.

"No! The tradition says you may not see it before the marriage", she whispered back.

Maxine looked at them and smiled when shaking her head.

_They will never change. As stubborn as can be. It's good for her. A nice distraction for her and he's back the old one._

Maxine reached for her coffee cup, took a sip and got even a bigger smile on her face.

_This is the first time that I had to do with the Hammersley guys and I didn't ruin my make-up!_

After they took a small lunch, Kate made further purchases in town visited the bank.

Later that afternoon the doorbell rang and Mike went to open the door.

Nikki stood in front of it with a sports bag in her hand. Her white uniform was one wrinkle because she even didn't took the time to change in civvies. She went straight from the frigate to the airport. .

"Hey Nikki! How are you?", he said surprised.

"Hi Mike, I'm more than fine now. You look surprised? "

"Uh?" He stepped aside to let Nikki enter the house.

"I told you that I would come straight away?", she said while looking backwards to Mike.

"Hmm, yes, but you didn't tell me when?", he said with a grin.

"Oops, forgotten. Is Kate in?"

"Sure. Kate! Visit for you!", he yelled.

"Coming!", they heard from somewhere inside. An instance later Kate turned around the corner of the living room into the alley.

"Nikki!", she exclaimed.

"Ah there you are! Don't ever, ever do that to me again!", Nikki stammered angry while tears appeared in her eyes.

"After Josh you've let me die a second time. And now I'm going to give you a hug and don't you dare to escape!"

She grabbed Kate and tears of happiness were running down both their cheeks. Mike looked amused at the scenery.

"I never thought to see you again", Nikki said between two sniffs. Kate couldn't bring a word either.

"I guess you both need some tissues?", Mike said laconic passing a tissue-box to them and smiled when he heard how the two were blowing their nose together.

"Now you're laughing at us," replied Kate faked angrily . "I'm curious to hear what kind of stories Susan is going to tell us about you."

"Oh? Nothing."

"Oh no mister Flynn. I don't believe one word of it. I think it will be very spicy stories!"

Mike grumbled a bit as answer.

"Nik, tell me. You're so quickly here. When did you arrive?", Kate asked her.

"This morning. From the moment we were moored I left and took the plane of 11 o'clock. I couldn't wait to change me", she said agitated.

"Nikki, a brew or something else?"

"Hmm, something fresh. I've had enough coffee in the plane that it almost comes out of my ears."

While Mike went to the kitchen to prepare something to drink, both women sat down and looked at each other.

"Nikki, it's almost a year ago I saw you. You changed a bit", Kate remarked.

"Yeah, I need a bigger size now. Getting a bit rounder. Good food and far too less movement on the frigate," Nikki answered.

"I thought that already," Kate answered with a smile.

"Kate, dear, between us. What happened to you? I'm worrying. You are looking like you could be my mum", she said concerned.

"Nik, I …" Kate wanted to tell something, but she couldn't go further because a lump in her throat avoided that. Her eyes became glassy and she just looked at Nikki.

Nikki shook softly her head and whispered : "No, don't say it's true!"

Kate just only nodded.

Nikki placed herself beside Kate and laid her arm around her shoulders to comfort her.

"Oh no, poor thing! You didn't deserve that."

Mike came in with a glass of juice, white wine and a beer and saw how Nikki gave Kate a hug. He put the glasses on the table and shoved the tissue box next to them.

Nikki looked at him. "I know Mike, she didn't say anything, but I just know it."

Mike nodded and sat down wondering about the magical sixth sense women have.

"Thanks Mike for the drink. I needed it!"

"No thanks."

Nikki took a sip and noticed Kate's ring. She put down her glass and took her hand.

"Hey, that's nice!"

"Yeah, my engagement ring from Mike," Kate answered proudly.

"Is it? Oh I'm really happy for you both!", she exclaimed.

"When?"

"Hmm that depends on when our best men are available", Kate answered with a mysterious smile.

"And who are your best men?"

"You ought to be my matron of honor of course!", Kate replied.

"Me?", she exclaimed. "Fantastic! I'm very pleased. This is really great!"

"So, like I said, it depends on when you're on shore leave and that applies for all of us, I'm afraid."

"It's possible we'll never get married if we have to wait until we're all on shore leave at the same time", Mike answered with a contorted grin.

"Don't you start !", Kate bit back.

"By the way, do you have already met someone else?", Kate asked Nikki.

"Yep! 6 months ago I met Andrew. He's leading the maintenance team of the helicopters at the base. We're planning to marry the next year or so."

"Marvellous! I'm happy for you too."

"Where are you going to stay for the night?", Mike asked.

"I told Andrew that I would stay in Cairns for a couple of days. I'll look for a hotel room nearby."

"Hmm, you can stay here if you like, but it will be on the couch", he answered.

He looked at Kate and made a non-verbal conversation.

_Hmm, just in time, isn't it?._

"The second bedroom has not been installed yet. I'm using it as storage for the moment, but I think it will change in the near future", he looked again at Kate who lifted her eyebrows.

"Yeah, that will be more than fair enough for me. Thanks a lot Mike," Nikki replied.

"Ok, that's settled. Tonight we have a drink with the crew, you want to join us?"

"Oh, great, I can see the people I still know," she answered enthusiastic.

"Then I can see the smirk of 2Dads again", she added with a grin.


	23. Killed in Action ch 23 Scars

Chapter 23. Scars

That evening, the three of them went to the favourite bar of the crew. They were all present and already in the mood. Their reaction was enthusiastic, especially when they saw that Nikki was amongst them too. Mike noticed that Susan was also there.

"Hey guys, listen up for a minute!", Mike started. Kate stood close to him and Mike held his hand at the lower part of her back. The men became quiet.

"There are a few things we want to announce and that we can to celebrate to. First the fact of course that we found Kate back."

He paused to have the applause passed.

"We also celebrate the promotion of Kate to Lieutenant-Commander."

He paused again.

"Thirdly", and he paused for a few seconds to raise the tension that was already very present ", we want to announce that we are going to marry in the near future."

He had to pause somewhat longer for the enthusiast screams and applause.

"When boss?" , one of the crew yelled.

"Soon! We have still to stick a date on it."

"Finally, I will be your CO until further notice and Lieutenant Dufour will stay with us as XO. And now, drinks are on me!"

Everyone was congratulating the couple and it was hard for Mike to get to the bar to order the drinks. Beers and wine for everyone and a juice for Kate.

Later on Charge and 2Dads ordered the next round : home made Guava Mojo.

They were passing the drinks to their colleagues and they came to the group where Kate was taking part of. But then the inevitable happened.

"Here ma'am, a drink for you," Charge said.

"Oh Charge, thank you, but I have my juice", she replied.

"Ma'am, come on. You like this too. ", Charge said offering her the glass.

"Yeah, next to your wine it was your favourite too", 2Dads insisted who was already a bit drunk and pushed the glass in her hand.

All of a sudden images of the past months flashed through her memory. '_Ah woman? Thirsty? A trip?_' Fear strangled her throat, she became pale, her eyes widened and looked wild and scared from one to another. Unfortunately for Kate, the people who knew these signals weren't close to her.

"Come on!", 2Dads insisted .

"Nooooooo!", Kate screamed. She dropped the glass, pushed the men aside and rushed outside and leaving them shocked behind.

Mike and Susan noticed the sudden panic. Susan went straight to the men to hear what happened. Mike followed Kate outside and he found her stuck to the wall. She breathed quickly, sweated and the tears rolled down her cheeks.

"Honey? You're ok?", he asked concerned.

"Honey?"

Kate didn't answer. Nikki and Swain had come outside to providing some comfort to Kate. Inside they heard Susan yelling like hell to the men.

"Sir, can I have a look?", Swain asked softly.

"Yeah sure, go ahead."

Swain had a quick look at her and looked again at Mike.

"Sir, she's completely upset. Something has been working like a trigger to cause the panic attack. Probably something happened in the past that made her so. "

Meanwhile an angry Susan joined the small group to see if she could be of any help

"Hmm, I think I know. What should we do best?", Mike asked, looking at Swain

"You'll better take her home. Give her the time and chance to calm down and don't go inside again now. It would only make it more worse", Swain said.

Mike nodded. "Yeah, I'll do."

"I'll stay here a bit, to keep an eye on the situation. Stupid idiots!", Susan said.

"I'm coming with you Mike. Maybe I can help," Nikki added.

"Sorry Susan," Mike said.

"Never mind boss."

They went home and Mike helped Kate in bed where she felt asleep rather quickly. Afterwards, Mike took the opportunity to explain to Nikki what happened the months before as far as he knew.

The next day Kate's condition wasn't any better. When she finally got up, she shuffled through the house like a sleep-walker. She didn't say a word and from time to time she just started crying. Mike or Nikki really had to say to her what she had to do and then she simply nodded or whispered something in response. Mike and Nikki also noticed o that Kate followed them everywhere they went to and when one of them got out of sight of , she started to panic again.

Two days later Nikki had to leave for Sydney again and that was a very hard nut for Kate to handle. Mike had to do his very best to calm her down again. The fact that people were leaving her was still not forgotten. Luckily for her Mike had a long shore leave, so that he could take care for her for some time. He remembered clearly what the French doctor had said to him not to force her because it could create a crisis and that was exactly what had happened that night in the pub. During that period he had received a few calls from Susan who was concerned about Kate's condition if she could do something to help them. He accepted that offer with pleasure asking her to do some shopping so that he didn't have to leave Kate. Mike made a mental note to be extreme careful to take her to crowded events where there was a risk that someone would offer her anything she could again be upset with.

The morning after Nikki has left.

Mike left the bathroom and walked back to the bedroom. He noticed that Kate was already awake. She sat upright in bed, the sheets covered her legs and she was looking outside while fiddling with border of the sheet. When she heard him coming, her head whipped in his direction.

"Hey honey, you're already awake!", he said happily.

"Yeah, I'm wake", she replied with a sad smile.

"I'm sorry, I'm really sorry for my childish behaviour yesterday", she continued. "I don't know what happened to me. It … it just took possession of me.

I'm so ashamed for what happened in the pub and how I reacted in front of you and Nikki."

A few tears rolled down her cheeks and the fiddling on the sheets became more nervous.

"I thought I was over it, but … but it wasn't. It's… it's like I couldn't think anymore. I was so scared. It took completely control of me.

What are you both think of me now?

Yesterday morning I was ok, and then… Something happened and then it's all a mess again", she said looking worried to Mike.

He looked at her, sitting there in the bed, fiddling with the sheets and he could see that she had crossed her toes under the sheets. Internally he smiled but he didn't show it, because that would cause a serious damage.

_I've never seen her like this. So vulnerable! She must have looked like this when she was a girl of 7 I guess. There's just one word for it. Cute!_

He sat down on the bed next to her and took her hand.

_Now she let it happen. A few days ago she was scared to be touched again. _

"Honey, it's ok. Don't worry."

"Mike! I'm not going to be like this for ever , is it? I'm going to be better, though?", she asked squeezing his hand.

"Sure honey, don't worry," he said answering her squeeze.

She sighed. "I can't believe that this all happened again yesterday."

"Honey, not yesterday, that's already three days ago", he said tenderly.

She whipped her head in his direction again and looked at him in panic.

"_What? Three days ago?_ Was I like that for three days ?", she replied astonished.

Kate released his hand and covered her face with her both hands.

"Oh my god, oh my god. What happened to me for god's sake?"

He pulled her to his chest in an embrace and caressed her back. She wrapped her arms around him.

"Honey, just forget it. It will not happen again. You'll see, it will fade away piece by piece. Just keep calm and think about the good things in life."

They kept holding each other for a few minutes until she calmed down.

He released her and she took a deep breath and wiped her tears away.

"Ok, ok, I assume I have to live with it for the rest of my life huh?", she asked making a grimace. He squeezed her thigh.

"Sorry darling for everything", she said caressing his cheek and giving him a faint smile.

He softly gave her kiss on the forehead while caressing her cheek.

"I'm going to call Nikki today to explain everything. I can't bear to know that she had to leave while I was in such a state", she said determined.

Her face got a harder glance now.

"Come on Katherine, reinvent yourself!", she said fierce yanking the sheets away. She shuffled next to Mike to get off the bed, using his thigh to get upright. Then she turned and gave his a kiss. "You're incredible!", she said before leaving to the bathroom.

After they've had breakfast there was a ring at the door.

When Mike opened the door he saw it was Susan. He just could hide a smile when he saw what she was wearing, a t-shirt with a print of Mickey Mouse on it, a shorts of which he suspected her that she bought it in a men's shop and a pair a flat sandals.

"'Morning Boss, I have the shoppings here you've asked for", she said taking off her sun glasses and putting it in her hair.

"'Morning Susan, please do enter", he said stepping aside.

"This time I've got everything from your list, finally! They got everything now", she said passing to the kitchen with the bags.

Then she saw Kate. "Hey Kate, you're up and looking a lot better! ", she exclaimed.

Kate lifted one eyebrow when she saw Susan's outfit.

_We are different, oh yeah!_

"Hi Susan, well more or less."

"Honestly that's great, really great. Listen, I've to go, Matthew and I have planned to make a bycicle trip to the next bay to spend the day there and he's waiting for me already", she said with a grin, barely hiding the excitement in her voice.

"No problem Susan, go for it en enjoy your day", Mike replied.

"Thank you and I'm very happy for you both too!", she said and she gave Mike a gentle slap against his upper arm.

Kate grinned when she saw how even Mike moved a bit due to her friendly slap.

_As a tall man as Mike already moved from that friendly slap, what would happen to me if she gave me such a gentle tick? For sure you can collect me from the corner then!_

Before she opened the door again she turned towards them.

"And don't look at me like that! I known that I'm looking awful, but these are the most comfortable on a bicycle you know and I know one thing for sure! Nothing will happen with these clothes now!", she said with a cheeky grin.

They waited until Susan has left, then they looked at each.

"_Where_ has she bought _that_ shorts?", Kate asked dryly emphasising a few words.

Mike roared with laughter and Kate followed him.


	24. Killed In Action Ch 24 A job for me?

Chapter 24. A job for me?

Like Maxine ordered her, Kate visited the doctor later on for an examination. He declared her physically fit, however he recommended her to take a lon,ger break to recover mentally.

The week that followed was indeed a holiday. As Mike had shore leave for a whole week, they spent together shopping in Cairns, walking and organising the upcoming wedding.

A week later he had to start on a new patrol.

Mike was tying the last buttons of his white shirt when he entered the living room. Kate has just put the coffee jar on the table. He noticed that breakfast was more extensive than usual with grape fruit segments, orange juice, toast and bacon and eggsl.

"Hey, that looks nice!", he said surprised.

"Yeah, a surprise for our last breakfast together. Is it ok that I'm coming with the bacon and eggs?", she tried to say happily.

"Yeah sure", he answered and looked how she went to the kitchen. He noticed a bit surprised that she wearing a blue cotton dress with an apron.

_I didn't see she had put it on? Correct, she was up earlier and we crossed each other when leaving and entering the bathroom._

He looked at her and noticed she stood with her bare feet and smiled.

_Indeed, this is also a habit of her. I noticed it for the first time at her place and now here. That means she's feeling at home here, … with me. It's just only a week that we are back together and it seems to me it's already so much longer. We didn't have to get used to each other._

"Here you go. Enjoy your meal," she said dividing the bacon and the eggs onto their two plates.

"Delicious!", he mumbled after the first bite

He guessed that the mumble from her was a 'thank you' because she had just put a bit of bacon in her mouth. They ate in silence.

"You're quiet," he pushed off.

"Yeah, I can't help it," she said while she cleaned her mouth with a napkin.

Kate sighed. "I'm going to miss you," she said with glassy eyes.

"Honey it's only for two weeks. It will pass quicker than you think", he tried to comfort her.

She nodded slightly.

"Nevertheless it's going to be hard. We've been always together for almost five years, ok, in another relation, but we were together. Now it's different," she said huskily.

"I know, but there's something like email and you can always call me," he said caressing her cheek.

"Sure I know, but…" She shrugged. "Stupid isn't it? I've been the executive officer on board of a warship and now I'm crying to say goodbye." Kate said laughing, wiping her tears.

"Katie, it will all come good. You're at home here."

She sighed. "Yeah, indeed. This is _our_ home."

"What are you planning to do?", he asked trying to put the conversation in other daylight

"Hmm, arranging the house a bit with my things as well, if you don't mind," she answered looking at him. He shook his head to show her he didn't mind.

"Working on our marriage and … buying a dress," she said shrugging. "I can do it at my own pace. That means that you can't peak your nose in it and I can hide it safely for you before you're back," she said with a smirk lifting an eyebrow.

"You already sound much better now."

Later on they kissed each other goodbye and she closed the door after him when he drove away in his car. She leaned against the wall to compose herself for a few minutes and then she went to the living room and looked around.

"Mike you're a cute and kind man, but you're not a real artist in cleaning. I can see dust everywhere."

**A week later**.

Kate stood in the bathroom in front of the mirror making a face to her mirror image.

"Bloody hair. Why don't you want to grow faster? I want to have my long hair back on our wedding. Look at me! It's like I'm coming from a recruitment camp." She was in vain, busy with her comb and finally she put it irritated down on the tablet.

"Damn! I'll have to buy a hat!".

She went to the bedroom to pull on her white uniform blouse and trousers.

_I'm getting crazy to be here alone in the house. I hate it being alone now. I have to do something, but I just don't know what. Maxine will have to find something out._

She was closing the buttons in front of the mirror looking at the brand new shoulder boards with the two bands and a half of Lieutenant-Commander and smiled.

"Here you go Lieutenant-Commander McGregor. Now it must be possible to get a command, no? Captain. Commanding a patrol boat…."

Realizing what she just said, her smile froze on her face and changed in a gloomy glance.

"Come on girl, that's what you have been waiting for. You've worked for it.", she said to her mirror image, but the gloomy image didn't change.

"What's the matter with you?", she said on her XO tone.

_I don't know what's the matter with me. All of a sudden I feel so unsure. It's just like I'm afraid of something. The idea to sit in that chair and to send 21 men to unknown destinations. Right now I feel naked, just like that afternoon when I had to put off my clothes._

Kate turned away from the mirror and covered her face with her hands and sobbed.

_Oh my god, what's happening to me? _

_I don't even recognise myself anymore. Where's the self-confident Kate, jumping on board of an FFV? _

_The facts of the last half year left traces on me and I didn't realize that. Now, I feel so afraid of being outside, facing unknown situations, being alone. _

_How do I have to build up that again?_

She sighed and looked again at the mirror.

"Oh great! How do I look now with these red eyes!"

She drove to Navcom with their car that she picked it up again from the base last week. When she walked to Maxine's office she was not a little surprised to see how many officers saluted her.

_I have to get used to it! Funny._

She knocked on the door of Maxine's office. Maxine looked up , surprised.

"Hey Kate! Come in and take a seat."

"Hi ma'am", she said while sitting down.

"Kate, how are you now?"

"I'm fine ma'am."

"You're sure?", Maxine questioned while she made a circle with her finger around her own face.

_Damn, is it so obvious?_

"Yes, sure. I prepared some vegetable soup for tonight. It's the result of cutting the onions."

_I hope I'm getting around with it._

"Oh, I see."

_Liar._

"Why are you here, I expected that you were still on leave."

"Ma'am, I'm fine again. I want to start again."

"Listen Kate, I've read the report of the doctor. Physically you're fit, but I understood that you need some more shore leave. Why do you not enjoy it and make the best of it?"

Kate looked behind to be sure there was nobody and turned her head back to Maxine. She bent a bit forward.

"Maxine, I'm getting crazy being alone at home! I've been running up against the walls this last week. Moreover I can't buy some more wedding dresses, just to keep me busy. I cleaned the entire house twice already and I've seen every corner in Cairns. Give me something to do! I want to be busy."

Maxine looked surprised. It was the first time Kate called her by her first name at the office and she was also surprised about her reaction.

She nodded. "Ok, ok. I can follow you. Almost half year ago I sent Mike also as quick as possible back to sea for the same reason. Let me think."

She leaned back in her chair and rubbed with her fingers in her eyes to concentrate her.

Then she leaned back forward and noticed colour on her fingertips.

_No, don't say it's true!_

She looked up at Kate who had a huge smirk on her face from one ear to the other.

_Damn!_

"You! You are not one hair better then Mike or Susan or the other bandits on Hammersley! You all found a trick that I ruin my make up every time you're around," she snapped.

Her face relaxed again. She sighed and continued calmly. "Well, you know Mike has still to come back as my assistant, which means Hammersley needs another CO and you have the rank and the capabilities."

"That's kind of you Ma'am, but …"

At the end of that week Hammersley was back at the base.

Halfway the morning Mike knocked the door of the office where Kate was wrestling with a huge pile of papers and files.

"Lieutenant-Commander, you would like some time off?", he asked.

Kate looked up from the moment she heard the knock and smiled when she saw him in the doorway.

"A walk? Sure. This rubbish can wait. They ignored to sort it out", she said while she shoved a file aside.

She stood up, gave him a soft kiss and took her hat.

"Let's go. I didn't know you were already here. I expected you tomorrow", she said while she put her arm lovingly on his upper arm.

"That's true, but Charge discovered an irregularity on one of the engines and he wanted to return earlier. Maxine told me I could find you here."

Outside Navcom they passed a Lieutenant who saluted them.

"I still have to get used to be saluted by Lieutenants," Kate said.

"Me too. I have to get used to your shoulder boards as well. I'm proud of you," he said smiling.

She looked at him sad. "Mike, don't say that. There is nothing, really nothing, to be proud of. And I know damn sure about what I say."

"Honey, you were always so keen on your promotion?"

"Mike, the promotion is ok, but the way it went is not to be proud of. It didn't go as expected. It's still all too close. I …" Kate stopped talking, swallowing a lump and waved with her hand to say 'please don't ask anything'.

"Sorry honey", he said while he rubbing her back.

She took a deep breath and wiped a few tears from her eyes.

"It's not your fault. I'm not on track yet. I still start crying from the smallest events."

Meanwhile they arrived at the quay where two patrol boats were moored . A Flight Lieutenant in his blue uniform just passed them.

"Uh, since when do we have aviators at the base?", Kate asked.

Mike laughed. "That's Matthew, the boy friend of Susan."

"Oh yeah, she mentioned him when she brought the purchases that day."

"We picked him and his co-pilot up after the crash of their F18. Since then, something is growing between them. It's good to see that she also found her happiness again."

"How come?"

"She lost her husband in a car accident."

"Oh I see."

They were looking now at the bow in silence.

"Well, honey, what would you say that she's yours now?", Mike pushed off.

Kate looked at him an instant without saying anything.

"That's very kind of you, but no. Not for me", she said with a sad glance.

"Uh, tell me?" Mike was startled.

"Sorry Mike, I'm not ready anymore for it. The responsibility, the pressure, unknown environments, it's too much for me. During the last months my self-confidence has been taken away and I don't know if it will ever come back. I need a comfort zone. Please, don't understand me wrong. I really can deal with problems, but in a comfort zone. You understand? Here at Navcom, with all the people around me, nothing can happen to me again. You see?" She was looking at him.

Mike nodded. "Yeah, I understand, or better said, I think I understand. You haven't told me everything yet, but you don't have to. Do it at you own pace. I respect your choice. But I'll have to tell Maxine."

"She knows already, I told her, but I didn't tell you, because I didn't know how to start ", Kate said and took a deep breath .

"Hmm, then I have to look for a new CO," he said while he was looking at the bridge of the Hammersley.

All of a sudden they heard a well known voice shouting from the bridge.

"Well Goddamn 2Dads, are you kidding at me? Did you really said you want to borrow one of our RHIBS for a fishing party because you lost with a poker game?", Susan yelled.

"Uh, yes ma'am," 2Dads stammered.

"Well leader, the answer is _no_! You are the biggest nutcase I have ever met in my whole life."

"But, ma'am they are certainly going to hurt me." He sounded rather unhappy.

She was pricking with her finger on his chest. "Shut up 2Dads, one word from you again and it will be _me_ who's going to hurt _you_."

"Hmm, In that case, I'd better tell them, then I have at least a chance to survive….", he said gloomy.

Matthew who stood close to Mike and Kate started laughing and he looked at them.

"Spicy character, my Susan, isn't it? Just like my Hornet."

"Mike?", Kate said.

"Yes?"

"You'd better look for a XO instead of a CO."

"Why?"

"Obviously, you already have your CO up there. Honestly I can't do better. Susan is perfect to follow you in your foot steps."

"Yeah, you're right. She has the perfect profile for it and the crew follows her. That's important. Moreover my feeling tells me that she can handle bigger ships too, but let's start with this one and we will see. I'll recommend her by Maxine."

"By the way, do you have already a best man?", she asked him.

"Hmm, not yet. I'm thinking to ask Steve. Steve Marshall, you know?"

"Silly, of course I know Marshall. But I wouldn't do that."

"Why?"

"He's in Canberra and he has something else to do then flying to Cairns to play a best man," she said as plain as possible.

He looked at her and noticed her XO face. "Hmm, you're right. It's difficult. I can ask one of crew. Dutchy or Swain or?" He said thoughtful.

Meanwhile they heard Susan's voice in another temper.

"Hey! Little flyboy of me. What's a surprise seeing you here!"

Kate turns to him. "Why don't you ask Susan?"

"Susan?"

"Yeah, you own a lot to her. She pulled you through the past months."

"Uh, pulled me through?", he said surprised.

"Come on darling, don't ignore it. I know everything."

"But how?"

"Easy, by having chats with Maxine during coffee breaks and during the lunch. For example I know how you've given Maxine's trousers a shower with coffee and how you've given her the worst hang-over in her life ", Kate said with a twinkle in her eyes.

"Maxine was also complaining about Susan how she kept her jaws closed when it was about you. She couldn't hear anything about you. So Susan was covering your back more than you think."

"I'm even thinking about getting jealous," she said naughty.

"Hmm," he grumbled.

"Yeah, you're right. I'll ask her!"

"Good. Another thing. I had nothing else to do than thinking. We didn't talk about a suit for you yet, isn't it?"

"Yeah, I thought to wear my ceremonial uniform?"

"Oh no Mike. I said I want a classic wedding. Can you imagine? All our friends are navies. If everyone is going to wear his uniform, then our wedding will look like an official ceremony and then we are again not far away from our job."

"Hmm, you're right again. I'll see I'll find one" he said thoughtful.

"And I go with you, so I can check that it fits! And now go on board before these two fly away."


	25. Killed In Action Ch 25 The Day

Chapter 25. The Day

Was it due to the sun that poked through the curtains or was it the alarm clock, he wasn't sure but he was all of a sudden wide awake . He looked at Kate who was still asleep next to him, at her belly, as usual.

_Today, it's the day. The day that we were waiting for so many years. When we go to bed this evening, or maybe better said tomorrow morning we are Mr and Mrs Flynn._

_Five weeks passed since we met each other again. Quite some time, but on the other hand it felt like hardly seconds that had passed awayl. It could have been earlier, but Nikki and the crew had to be on shore all together. Many things happened during these weeks. Organising our house and the wedding, I have my shore posting back, Kate leads now the logistics division of the base and Susan got promoted and is commander of Hammersley now._

He couldn't resist and started making little circles with his finger on her back.

_Katie, you have a relaxed face, but it grew older, much more than these 7 months. I can only imagine what had happened to you and how much damage that has been caused in your head. _

_Every other couple will laugh at us when they hear we haven't made love since we were back together. But I don't want to force you. The French doctor said that you have to do it on your own pace. But most important is that we have each other back._

"Hmm?" Kate got awake softly and mumbled.

"Good morning Miss McGregor", he whispered to her and Kate turned on her back. He continued drawing figures on her chest. He chuckled because the thin, transparent night dress was just a formality.

"Hmm?"

"It's the last time that you will hear that."

"And then?", she murmured.

"It will be Mrs Flynn."

She giggled.

"I think I will go first to the bathroom because if you would go first then I can build in the meanwhile another one for me", he said giving her a kiss on her lips.

"Oh you rascal!

But on the other hand you're right. I want to take my time because I want to feel good today", she answered poking him.

Quite some time later they sat at the table for breakfast enjoying some toast, eggs and coffee.

"Funny, isn't it? We're sitting together like a married couple and within a couple of hours we're going to marry", he pouring coffee in her cup.

"Yeah, moreover we've been working and living almost together for more than five years. But it will be different now. No more hiding, no formalities. We can be ourselves when we see each other at the base", she answered dreamily.

It will be a big relieve. And, … I've got a little surprise."

"Again? " Kate answered while lifting her eyebrows.

"Yep, I fixed several days of leave for us and I booked a stay in a luxury resort at a nice bay not so far from here, but far enough to have the feeling to be away."

"That's what you can call a nice surprise! Thank you darling." She bent forward to give him a kiss.

By the way, how do you plan the morning?", he said sipping from his coffee.

"After breakfast I'm going to see the hair dresser. He will have to make an ultimate attempt to do something with my hair", Kate answered a bit annoyed.

"Honey, your hair is nice", he tried to comfort her.

"Mike! No. Don't say that, because it's not true. It looks just like a worn paint brush! And now I have to go otherwise I'm too late . Can you take care of emptying the table? When I'm back, I'll help you with your suit."

"Sure."

She stood up, brushed with her hand over his shoulder, slipped in a pair of sandals, took her handbag and left.

One hour later she was back. The hair dresser has made up her hair. It was curling.

"What do you think?", she asked him.

"Pretty nice! You look gorgeous ", Mike said with a huge smile.

Kate looked in the mirror in the corridor. "It's nice, ok, but I like my long hair."

"Honey, just be patient for a couple of weeks. It will come back."

"I know, but I wished it was already back! And you, did you unpack your suit already?"

"Uh, just started with it", he stammered.

"Come on, you don't have an eternity of time you know."

"You said 'you'. And you then?", he asked her with a questioning glance.

"Darling, it concerns you."

After a few minutes they were looking at him in the mirror of the bedroom.

"Nice, very nice. I'm proud of you", she said while she rubbed some imaginary dust particles from his shoulders. Kate sat down in the single club chair in their bedroom and crossed her legs. He looked at her doubtful.

"Honey, you seem to have lots of time. Don't you get dressed yourself? Or is the jeans skirt and the blouse your outfit?"

"Silly. I have time. Don't be nervous", she said with a smile.

"But…" His sentence was interrupted by the door bell.

"Fine. Just in time", Kate said looking at her watch.

"Uh? Why just in time?" He looked at her, but she didn't move.

"Ok, I'll get it. But just wondering who this can be. We see everyone in the church", he said nervous while walking to the door.

When he opened the door he was looking at the smiling face of Susan. Matthew stood behind her. She was wearing a long wine red halter neck dress in silk.

"Good morning groom!", she greeted him enthusiast.

"Hey Susan, what a surprise. You look beautiful!"

"Thank you. You know, I wanted to take bright red, but Matthew advised me to take a not too flashy colour. Otherwise I would have looked like a telephone cabin."

"Hmm, isn't that a bit exaggerated?", he asked prudent looking at Matthew.

"Nope!" Matthew shook convinced his head behind her.

"I've heard that pilot!", she said pretended angry.

"Come in, come in. But what brings you both here?", he ushered them inside.

"Ah! Quite easy. Your fiancée", Susan replied with a conspiracy smile.

"Hey, there you are!", Kate said while she came towards them.

"'Morning bride!.", Susan answered.

"All right, can you take him with you? Drink with him a coffee or give him a tour on the Hammersley. Whatever. I don't care", Kate said.

"Of course. As planned", Susan replied with a conspiracy tone.

Mike looked astonished from one to another.

"But? How? Do we come back to pick you up?", he asked unsure.

"Nope!"

"But, I thought we went together to the church", he said.

"Mike, darling. Remember that I said that I wanted a classic wedding. That means that you may not see the dress before the wedding, yes? And that you are waiting for me at the altar."

"Uh yes, but how do you get to the church and down the aisle then? You take our car?"

"Oh Mike, sometimes you can be really a nutcase. Do you see me driving a car with a wedding dress? Entire Cairns will roar with laughter."

.

"Darling, what's my nick name?", she asked him.

"Uh, Princess Perfect."

"Well, then you should know you don't have to worry about me."

Susan put her arm around his shoulder and said. "Come Mike, it's time for your coffee otherwise your fiancée is going to kick all three of us out."

One and a half hour later.

Mike stood in front of the alter waiting for Kate, wondering what she had figured out. He had already looked around. They had all followed Kate's instructions. There was not a single uniform. He saw his parents and the entire crew. He noticed Maxine and Ryan with Bird next to him. He saw also Nikki with her friend and wondered how Kate got to the church. He was persuaded that she would have come with Nikki because they didn't go together to the church.

_Damn, I don't like this kind of situations! _

_Be calm. You're not on board. Just trust her. She knows what she's doing._

On the dot he heard a rumour behind him and turned uncontrolled his torso backwards to look. He could no longer do anything else except staring at the figure that entered through the doors of the church. Kate wore an ivory coloured long bustier dress with a hat with a large brim. She held a posy and walked towards him on the arm of Steve Marshall. Steve showed a huge grin, knowing Mike didn't know about him.

Kate gave him a huge smile from one ear to the other.

"Honey, you're stunning", he whispered her.

"Thank you!", she whispered back.

"But, I thought Steve didn't want to come?"

"I wanted to be first! Who else could I ask to bring me forward? RO perhaps?", she said with a smirk.

"Hmm. By the way, splendid hat! You've found the solution for your hair."

"Yep!"

"Ahum? Can we start?", the priest interrupted the couple.

"Uh? Oh yes, of course." Both seemed completely forgotten where they were.

The wedding service passed smoothly, but at the moment of the rings there was some enthusiast hilarity.

When the priest asked if Mike wanted to accept Kate as his wife he said 'yes' and when he asked her the same question her eyes became glassy and a lump formed in her throat and only with a big effort she could also bring out a 'yes' too. From the moment the second 'yes' fell, the crew started to yell, applaused and whistled so long that it took a couple of minutes before it became calm again.

That made Mike thinking that his former crew was up to some practical jokes.

When they left the church they saw that the crew made an arcade with the wooden name plate of the Hammersley through which they had to go. A torrent of rice was poured over them. Behind them, they heard Susan grumbling : "I guess we will have no rice in the galley for the coming two months when I see this."

"Not our problem anymore!", they said to each other laughing.

"Who has nicked the name plate of my ship? You 2Dad's?", Susan continued.

"Nope ma'am, it wasn't me this time. He did." And he pointed to Charge who stood behind him.

"God beware me, another one!", she sighed.

"Sorry ma'am, we were not allowed to come in uniform, thus we had to bring something that let them remind to the boat", Charge said disarmingly.

"Ok, ok, but, Don't loose it", she sizzled fierce between her teeth.

Meanwhile Matthew was ushering her by her arm. "Susy, come on, Kate is waiting for you for one reason or another."

Susan went to stand to Nikki who was already waiting. She was dressed in a long ochre yellow dress and had her hair up.

Kate looked at them with a twinkle in her eyes.

"The tradition says that the bride throws her posy in the public and the lady who catches it, will be the next one to marry. But the actual situation has changed the tradition a bit. So I've asked to make this posy of two parts."

She removed the rubber band.

"And these are for you both!", she said and threw each posy to Nikki and Susan.

Again there was an enthusiast yelling among the bystanders.

Susan poked Matthew with a huge smile. "You know what that means?"

"Sure I do, but you don't want to", he replied with a smirk.

"Oh you! It's a pity I don't command a missile frigate otherwise I would launch you instead of the missile", she said while poking him.

The couple, best men and their partners, family and invitees moved to a resort nearby where the barbecue and party was organised.

When all the guests had arrived and everyone had a drink, Mike asked for attention while Kate stood next to him.

"To all personal, listen up!"

He waited and saw that everyone turned towards them.

He chuckled. "You see, these magic words work always. So, dear guests I want to thank you for coming and joining us to celebrate our wedding. Finally we achieved what we've been waiting for so many years and this is the first success after the hard period of the last months that we left behind us. Whatever will come, it will always better than the past. And before you all made an assault on the barbecue, I want to give an attention to someone special. Someone who helped me during the dark months behind us and who succeeded in keeping me going."

He went to a table behind a bush and came back with a huge bouquet of roses.

"Susan. These are for you. Without you I wouldn't have made it and Hammersley would lay probably at the bottom of the Coral Sea."

Susan looked astonished and shook her head.

" You deserve them, really."

She went to Mike who gave her the huge bouquet and three kisses.

"Mike, stop. One single word more of you and I am crying", she whispered husky to him.

A laud applause completed the little ceremony.

"Ok, thank you and enjoy yourselves."

"Wait, wait! Before everyone disappears. I want to have a photo of our upcoming family and the best men", Kate said.

"Mother, Dad, Maxine, Ryan, Jessica, Nikki, Susan, come here."

They all stood on a row, Kate and Mike in the middle, Maxine, Ryan and Jessica on Mike's side and Mike's parents, Nikki and Susan on Kate's side.

The party went smoothly apart from one incident. It was already later and some of the crew members were already good in the mood. Charge, RO, 2Dads, Bomber and Harpie stood together joking and having fun. Then RO noticed that their glasses were empty. Unfortunately he was already good on his way to get drunk.

"Hey guys, it's empty. I'll get you some new ones", he stammered.

"RO, you're sure you'll do that? You could fall with it", Bomber said doubtfully.

"Yeah, yeah I'm sure", he said convinced while nodding.

He took a plate and loaded it full with glasses and waddled to the bar. When he came back he was so concentrated on the plate with glasses that he missed the small step,. stumbled over it and threw the entire plate on Susan who stood only a meter further chatting with Nikki, Maxine and their friends. She let a shriek and looked astonished to her smudged, leaking dress.

"Well goddamn! You clumsy bonehead. Can't you see where you walk? You ruined my dress", she yelled.

2Dads saw it and he pulled Charge's sleeve.

"Hurry up buddy, we have to get RO away to save his miserable life. The boss is up to kill him." He said and both rushed to RO.

RO who got upright again stammered with a thick tongue : "Sorry ma'am, but you stood in my way."

That was the last straw for her.

"Oh you idiot!", she screamed and swung her arm backwards to give RO a huge blow.

At that moment Charge and 2Dads grabbed him and dragged him away. Meanwhile Matthew had avoided that she hit RO by holding her arm and by whispering some nice words to her. She walked fierce away without looking at her friends who looked at each other not knowing what to say.

Dutchy touched Matthew's arm. "It seems you found the magic words to calm her down. Can't you come on board with us?"

Matthew looked at him doubtful. "Don't make yourself illusions mate. She's not calmed down at all. Her frustration will come out. I think I'll find her now in a lone corner of the garden."

He looked for her and found her, where he has thought she would be. She had her arms crossed and stared over the bay. When he came closer, he saw tears on her face.

"Here's my dancing queen. I've lost you." He pushed off tenderly.

He just heard a grumble as answer.

"You're back ok?", he asked softly.

"No. I'm not ok", she answered with a raw voice.

"Each time when I go to a party and I dress myself up, something happens. Always. Torn dresses, dirty, bruises. Always something. It looks like I'm only intended to run around in these bloody Navy uniforms", she said sadly.

"We're all almost from the same neighbourhood. Maybe you can borrow a dress from someone else?", he suggested tenderly.

"Mat, do you see here another woman of my size?", she answered softly wiping her tears away.

"Uh…" was the only thing he could say while looking around desperately.

Meanwhile Kate arrived. She had seen the incident and heard the last conversation.

"Susan, come, we'll see we can fix something in the ladies room." And she ushered her to there.

Dutchy followed them and gave Mat a glass. "Not easy huh. But apart from that she has a heart of gold."

Matthew accepted the glass, nipped from it and nodded.

"I know, I know."

_To be continued_


	26. Killed in Action Ch 26 MArried

Chapter 26 Married

The next day the just married couple awoke.

Mike groaned a little and reached for the alarm clock to switch it off.

He turned towards Kate who started to move a bit, turning herself on her back. He started to make some sensitive moves with his fingers on her chest.

"Good morning _Mrs_ Flynn. Have you slept well?", he asked softly.

As a response he got a huge smile and she wrapped her arms around his neck giving him a kiss.

"We have to get up. It's already halfway morning and we have to drive quite some time", he said gentle after a few minutes.

"Yeah, that's true", she said softly.

"I'm just wondering why the crew had been so quiet. I know how they are with practical jokes. Nothing happened, apart for the awful, abused amount of rice" he said to her leaning on one elbow.

"Maybe they have been spelled their lesson by Susan?", she answered, still laying on her back."

"Hmm, I never succeed in stopping them by doing such jokes. So I doubt if Susan could."

They got up and had breakfast. Afterwards he took their suitcases and went to the car.

"Hmm, street works are coming up", Mike said pointing to a canvas spread over some invisible material just behind their car and a lot of sand on the ground. Kate threw a glance at it but didn't say anything.

He started the car and changed to back gear but after hardly one meter they were frightened by an awful metallic noise. He stopped immediately and both went out to see where the sound came from. A couple of ropes led to two big empty oil drums filled with stones to intensify the sound. They were hidden under the canvas.

"Bastards! I knew they were up to something", he said shaking his head

On the barrels they had painted 'JUST MARRIED.'

Kate saw his startled face and roared with laughter.

The honeymoon went smoothly and the weather was on their side as well. The couple enjoyed from each other for every second.

At the end of another splendid day they were preparing themselves to go to the restaurant. Mike has taken a shower, got dressed and sat at the terrace enjoying the sunset. He had small drink and was waiting for Kate who was still in the bathroom.

Kate had just put down her towel and bent forward to look intense at her mirror image.

_Here we are! Back from the death. There were moments I wished I was dead. Now I have the man I've always dreamed of. My heart jumps almost out of my body of happiness and now I can start thinking about building a family. But, you know, you need to be two for that. Now that you learned your first lesson Kate, you can start with the second one, otherwise there will be no family._

Her face got a sombre shine.

_I don't know how I'm going to react. Will it be like a trigger? Will I experience all of it again? I don't know. But Mike is gentle enough to understand. Anyhow, I'll give it a try._

She smiled again by the last sentence. She put on a robe and went to the bedroom to take two parcels that she had put at the bottom of the suitcase. She noticed that Mike was looking fascinated at the sunset and that he hadn't noticed her.

_That's even better. It must be a surprise._

In the bathroom she pulled out her thin blue silk dress and held it in front of her.

_My lucky dress. It has put me once on track and I hope it will do it again._

She pulled the dress over her head, put on some make up and slipped in the according blue pumps from the other parcel. After a final touch of perfume she went out.

Kate walked to Mike and her heels made a very characteristic sound on the wooden floor so that Mike turned himself towards her. She caressed his neck with her hand and passed him so that he could see the deep cut out at her back. Kate stood still at about two meters from him and turned to him and put her hands in her waist.

"Darling, what do you think?",she asked him.

"Honey, … you are … just amazing. I'm speechless ", he stammered.

"Thank you! "

"Well? Little sailor of me, not hungry?", she said teasing while she walked to him and she gave him a kiss on his forehead.

"Uh? … Yes, sure. But hold on! I want you on the photo."

He stood up and went inside to take her camera, got out again and took some pictures.

After diner where Mike had serious troubles to keep his eyes off of her, they walked hand in hand back to their little house and stood in each other arms on their terrace. Kate was leaning against his chest and both were looking at the silver shines of the moon at the sea.

"Mike?"

"Yeah?"

"Would you make love to me tonight?", she asked softly.

"Honey, I will, but are you sure?", he asked concerned.

Kate looked at him very intense. "Yes, I'm sure. Don't hesitate. Maybe it will be hard for me, but I want to be a real woman again."

Mike knew he didn't have to say anything anymore, gave her a tender kiss on her forehead, took her up and carried her to the bedroom.

**Cairns, Navcom**

**4 months later**

Maxine entered Mike's office and sat down in one of the chairs in front of his desk.

"Mike, I have a small announcement to make."

He looked up surprised because as he didn't hear her entering his office. He shoved e the mouse of his pc aside. "Tell me Maxine."

"I just heard that I'm going to be transferred to HMAS Cerberus at Crib Point in Melbourne."

"Ah? And what are you going to do there?", Mike sounded surprised.

"I'm taking over the command of the training school there with a promotion to captain", she said neutral.

"Well jolly good Max. I'm happy for you." He stood upright to shake her hand.

"Did you expect it?"

"No."

_Yes, I did. Fairfax kept his word. I kept quiet and we all three proceeded._

"Mike, you know what that means?", she asked frowning.

"I think I know, but just tell me." He sat back down and leaned with his back in his chair.

"That you are going to have the lead of Navcom overhere."

"Hmm ok, no problem. And when will it happen?"

"I have to start there within two weeks. So we have about a week for the knowledge transfer, but I doubt it is necessary because you know already everything I know."

"That's right. You have already an assistant in mind?"

"No, I'll leave that to you. You have to work with him or … her. Ok, I'll leave you. I have to see others too", she said while she stood upright. But Maxine didn't left the office, she did a small step and she stopped. She looked at Mike. "By the way, you'll keep an eye on Ryan, will you?", she said with a complete other tone, the one of a mother.

He looked at her and sensed concern and also regret.

"Sure. You can sleep on both your ears!. And you know. Melbourne is just a couple of hours away by plane."

"I know. Thanks Mike", she said with a small voice.

Maxine left the office and crossed Kate who was at the corner entering Mike's office. Passing her she could see that Kate's eyes were glassy.

"Mike?", she said faintly when she entered his office.

He looked at her with a smile but was confused. He saw tears in her eyes and together a smile. Kate sat down.

"Honey, what's the matter? I do hope nothing is wrong? What did the doctor said this morning about your stomach?", He said concerned, hardly taking a breath.

"That are tears of happiness. Here", she said huskily and she gave him the pregnancy stick. "It still works Mike. We are going to have a child!"

"Oh darling that's just great. Two times good news within five minutes!" He hurried round his desk and took her in his arms.

Outside the co-workers looked over their shoulder and wondered what had happened between their senior officers.

_To be continued_


	27. Killed in Action Ch 27 Peter

**Sydney 2030**

_Oh, what a beautiful day. _

_The sun shines, the temperature is good._

_I feel great. I feel I can handle the world._

_Within two weeks I'll enter the academy to become a Navy officer. I'm just coming from the recruitment office where I signed my contract by the Navy and I still hear the voice of the Petty Officer at the desk in my ears while shaking his hand after I signed the papers. 'Well, Mr Peter Flynn, welcome to the Navy. You will not regret.' He asked me also if I was the son of Lieutenant-Commander Mike Flynn. I could only confirm with pride that he's now a Captain. He told me he served with him about 20 years ago. I can't remember his name, it's Webb or something._

_My whole family are navies, so why shouldn't I? I grew up with the Navy and I became a passionate as well._

_Dad is Captain Mike Flynn who commands the base in Sydney, mum is Commander Kate McGregor who's responsible for the operations, now Kate Flynn, my older half-brother Ryan White is Lieutenant and married with Petty-Officer Jessica Bird and finally my brother's mother is Captain Maxine White who's the director of the training base in Melbourne. So what do you want more?_

Peter arrived at his home.

_Nobody home yet._

_Too early for diner, too late to start something decent. Why not take one of the photo books parents' navy careers. I can't remember how many times I've got them already in my hands. I know the content almost by heart. But the older I became I looked at them from another point of view, I noticed more and more other things in them. _

_To each of these photo's there's a story and I know them also by heart and sometimes I ask my parents to tell them again, to do them a favour._

_The first pages contain pictures of dad as a midshipman and then appears mum on stage. In fact it's funny. Between the first photo of them both and the last, there's 27 years of difference and they are still standing in the same way on the photo with ships behind them. In 2003 in navy blue, mum as a midshipman and dad as a lieutenant. Now in 2030 in white, mum as a commander and dad as a captain._

_It's nice to see the evolution of time, only I'm embarrassed with one period and that was just before they got married. It looked like there is a gap of 10 years between the photo's and that's not possible._

Peter opened one of the books again and was looking for that period.

_Here we are. No, not really. It's only a big half year. This is a photo from April 2010 and this one is from December 2010. Look at that, mum looks 10 years older and her hair is short. Strange, she always had and has still long hair. The next pictures are from March 2011, it's a series of their marriage. Her hair is already a bit longer normal but she still looks old. Had she been ill? No, you recover from that and when I look further in the books, she's keeping the same old look. . _

_More curious is that I didn't see photo's of her anymore on a ship in the next years. _

_Checking._

Peter went through the books again that came after December 2010.

_Nope. Everything in front of ships, on the base, with friends, but not a single one on a ship. I don't understand. She was keen on sailing. Dad was again assistant of Maxine on shore, so that meant she could keep on sailing while they were married. They didn't serve anymore on the same ship._

_Hmm, here a picture of their best friend, Commodore Steve Marshall. He's retired now for a couple of years. And this is also something I don't understand._

Peter took a newspaper cutting out of the book, unfolded it and started to read it.

_I've read it so many times, but I can't bring it in relation with my parents. It's something that happened ten years ago._

_What does it say? Hmm…" Commodore Steve Marshall found out that a member of the Ministry of Defence, Admiral Fairfax kept quiet the murder on a civilian and a sailor of the Navy during a peace keeping action at the island Espirito Santo. He even refused the search for an officer of the Navy who was missing in action for about seven months during the same operation. It was called a wonder that the female officer was found back alive, accidentally during a courtesy visit of one of the ships of the Australian Navy at Nouméa. Commodore Marshall accused Admiral Fairfax and a member of the government John Stafford who was also at the current of this scandal, for their lacking action and the government agreed with Commodore Marshall. Both men had to resign."_

_Each time when I ask them something about this article they deny my question._

_Hey, this is a cute one. That's on the reception of dad's promotion to captain. Mum and dad toasting with a glass. He with Champaign and she with fruit juice, as always. However, I still hear her friend Nikki telling me once ' Your mum, Kate, always asked for a glass of white wine when we were on shore.'. But, as far as I can remember I never saw her drinking alcoholic beverages. It's always water, fruit juice, coke, lemonade or coffee. Even on the photo's. From December 2010 on I didn't saw her anymore with a glass of wine of sparkling wine. Why did she stop tasting a glass of wine? Not that she was drinking, but she liked the taste._

_It's the same with the stories. I heard everything from her, except about that period. And it's the same with dad. Nothing. It's just like they weren't in the navy for one and a half year. _

Peter leafed back in the book to the marriage period and stopped at a particular photo.

_This one. I've never seen mum like that. Dressed in a thin sexy blue dress with such a mysterious twinkle in her eyes. Pfew, no wonder that dad drove crazy about her. I'll know too. When I asked about the story behind this she got the same twinkle in her eyes and she gave me a huge smile but I didn't get the story. I'm sure it's a very personal one._

_And this is the family picture at the marriage. Granddad and grandma are still on it with Nikki and Susan, my father's best man. I remember her from when I was a kid, but since then I haven't seen her again. I heard that she was based in Perth or so._

_Anyway about that period. I do have to find out, for sure!_

Peter heard a closing door.

"Hey mum, you're back?"

"Yes, of course dear, who else could it be?", she said laughing.

"Don't know, maybe Santa Claus?", Peter replied dryly.

"Oh, go away, you silly!"

A bit later while she was preparing dinner and Peter walked into the kitchen. He saw a small box on the cupboard that he didn't recognise.

"What's that?", he said when he took it up.

"That's hair colour. I'm getting grey and I want my blond colour back", she answered him with a grin.

"Oh." He lifted his eyebrows and put it back.

"Mum?"

"Yeah?"

"A question. I was looking in the navy books again and I wanted to know something."

"Ask me", she said peeling potatoes.

"What happened in fact just before your wedding. You looked so, uh, tired on that photo?"

_Hmm , I almost used the wrong word…'old'._

Silence. She seemed to be side tracked because she didn't continue with the potato either.

"Mum?"

"Ah, uh, nothing special. Maybe just tired. Yes, tired", she answered, nodding with a slight smile and took another potato.

"Ah ok, thanks."

_Sorry mum, I don't believe a word of what you answered me. Your body language gave me other signals._

Later on when Mike arrived, Peter saw the change to speak him without that his mother noticed it.

"Hey dad, can I ask you something?"

"Go ahead son."

"I was going through your career stories and I found a gap before March 2011. Even more, mum looks old when I looked at the pictures. What happened then?"

Mike lifted his eyebrows and scratched his hair.

"Pfft, good question. I don't know exactly, probably it was a busy period with many boardings?"

"Ah, ok.'

_No, that's not the according body language to the answer either._

_Later that evening I noticed mum was sitting in the garden, alone. That's not a good sign, because she always does that when she's worrying about something. So I went to see her._

"Hey mum, you're ok?"

"Yeah, I'm fine."

_I noticed she had been crying a bit. Tears were still on her cheeks._

"You're sure? I see signs to believe it's not."

"Yes, I'm absolutely fine. Don't worry about me. It's just, you know, things happen."

"Ok, I'll leave you."

_Mum, you're lying, especially when you say you're 'absolutely fine'. But, I know I'll not be able to get a word out of you._

_It's again the same story. When I was a kid I didn't realise why mum was crying __often__. When I grew older these crying fits became less frequent, but it still happened. At such moments she was completely upset. She cried and she was scared of everything. Dad or Nikki were __then__ the only persons who could calm her down again. She behaved then just like a sleep walker. Weird._

_I went to the living room where dad was reading a book and I continued in my favourite lecture, navy, of course._

_Then I realised that dad had not turned a page for almost more than half an hour and he was staring at blank over his book._

"Dad?"

"Uh, yes?"

"All ok?"

"Yeah, sure", he said trying to sound convinced.

"Did I ask something wrong this evening? Mum is also not in her normal doing."

"No, no, everything is ok. We both are fine too and you didn't say anything wrong."

"Ah ok."

"I'll have a look at mum within a minute", he added to me.

_Anyway, I knew I did ask the wrong question. There happened something in that period that left scars on both and I was going to find out what it was. Not now, they've pulled walls up, but later on, within a year or so._

_So I decided to make a strategic fall back for this evening._

"Mum, dad, I'm going to see Josh and Muriel next door. I'll be back within two hours", I said loud when I walked to the door and there I waited until I got a response.

"Ok, fine", he answered.

I nodded and opened the door and left.

_I knew mum wouldn't answer, she was too upset again._

_Josh and Muriel were the son and daughter of their best friend Nikki. She got married shortly after mum and dad. They came to Sydney 5 years ago because Nikki got transferred to here and I think dad fixed that, but I'm not 100% sure._

In the garden.

Kate was sitting in the chair, looking at the flowers trying to pull herself together again, but in vain.

_Damn, why did Peter ask that? _

_He can't help it of course. It's a logical question. He is a man now and sees also that I wasn't the same anymore on that photo. _

_Oh no, everything comes back and I can't push it back, whatever I try. My eyes are pricking. Damn emotions! Can I never get rid of it?_

_Here I go again! _

_That extremely hot and muggy day on the Arafura Sea…._

_It was one of these dog days. No wind, the sun stung. Sweaty overalls stuck to bodies. Especially mine. It seemed that it was only mine that was glued to my body. I already pulled out the grey t-shirt but that didn't help either. The overall was sanding my skin. The weather was pressing on the mood of the crew and on my mood too. I couldn't help but I got irritated about the littlest things. Especially my lover, Mike, he was completely ignoring me and that annoyed me enormously. It looked like he was married with that bloody boat. I was in command and I had to give the example, but I was more in the mood to cry and to shout. I don't know anymore in which sequence._

_It had to go wrong._

_And it did…_

**Sydney 2031**

_I was wandering around with a glass of Champaign in my hand and was looking at all the guests who were invited on my dad's promotion to Commodore. For me it was in fact a double celebration, because I was promoted to Sub-Lieutenant, three weeks ago. Now I was one of them too._

_The day after tomorrow I'll start on the HMAS Coral Sea, one the newest supply ships. A huge one with 200 sailors on board. _

_The way how this started was a bit weird. When I told the colleagues of my class on which vessel I was posted, they were all startled. _

"_What?" did they say, "You will be under the Bull. That's a tough and rough commander. The bull has knocked once three men in the hospital without having a scratch. No man, I don't want to be in your shoes." _

_So I went with a mixture of feeling to my first meeting with the commander whose name I didn't know, only his knick name . When I came close to the cabin of my future commander I understood it was a woman because I heard her yelling to someone._

"_Bonehead! You must have sawdust in your head! How could you have this passed without checking? Now it's a mess. And who can pick up the pieces again? Who can explain the Brass it's not that bad? Me again! Just disappear from my radar for 48 hours otherwise I'm going to sweep mines with you!"_

_I stepped aside to have that Lieutenant passed. He threw me a glance like you-don't-know-with-what-you-begin._

"_Watch out. She served once on a mine hunter and she's like the mines, highly explosive", he mumbled to me._

_I swallowed._

_When I entered the cabin of the Commander I was chocked. My commander was dad's best man, Susan Dufour. _

_When she stood up to shake me the hand I was surprised again to see how big and sturdy she was. She had brown curling hair with more silver than brown and she was wearing glasses. I noticed also her firm handshake. _

"_Lieutenant Flynn, welcome on board. I'm Commander Susan Dufour", she said while she offered me to sit down. She was looking at my file and when she put off her glasses I noticed a young glance over her face._

"_It's a pleasure to have a Flynn on board again", she said with a smile._

"_Oh?", I answered. I didn't know what to say, so I played a bit dumb._

"_Yeah, I served under your father 21 years ago. I was there when he found your mother back", she said._

"_Found my mother back?" I was startled._

"_Uh? You don't know?" Now it was her turn to be surprised._

"_Uh no. Tell me ma'am." I was all of a sudden intrigued. 21 years ago. This brought my old question back to the surface. Was I finally be able to know what happened then?_

_She looked at me very thoughtful._

"_Hmm, I think I understand. Well Peter," The distance between the senior officer and me was all of a sudden gone. "It's a very delicate case and honestly, I don't think it's up to me and not fair to your parents to tell you that. You'd better ask them."_

_Crap, I still know nothing, although I have two new pieces of the puzzle. She was there too and my father 'found my mother back'._

_Then she changed the subject again._

"_Peter, you will see the Coral Sea is a happy ship, you will not regret, despites all the gossips that go round. I know them all and I know I have a big mouth, but I don't bite._

_This is your first assignment and we have quite some functions on board here. I'll put you on everything. That's the best way to gain experience. To begin you'll be the assistant of our navigator, yes?" _

_I was a bit surprised about her direct approach and confirmed her advice._

_She stood again to guide me to the door and smiled at me. "And what concerns the story of the three men, the other officers will tell you that in the long room and the story became more fantastic than it was, but if you want to hear the real story, ask your father. He was there when it happened. Now I can laugh with it, but at that time I couldn't. And I had no idea what a hell of reputation these three men have given me." She said laughing while she gave me a friendly slap on my shoulders. Instantly I understood how these three men landed in the hospital. How would it be if she should use all her power?_

_When you talk about the devil, you see its tail. I just saw my Commander entering the room accompanied with, I assume, her husband, a Group Captain of the Air Force. The gossips say that she literally fished him out of the sea after a plane crash._

_Hmm, where are the others I know?_

_The first I see are also old friends of mum and dad, Lieutenant Dylan Mulholland was chatting with Petty-Office Rebecca Brown. Then I see my step-brother. Ryan was talking with one of his colleague officers and mum was chatting with Jessica and Nikki who is also a Commander and organising trainings at Watson Bay. Mum, as usual, with a glass of fruit juice, no wine, never._

_Then I spotted dad. Finally he got some free time and I was heading to him. Since Commander Dufour reactivated my question I was determined to know what happened and my dad was the only key to the answer. Mum isn't. Each time I wanted to start about it she pulled up walls and it ended with tears. A few glasses of Champaign made him maybe more willingness to talk._

"Hey dad, nice party isn't it?"

"Yeah son, it runs good."

"Can I ask you something?"

"Yeah, go ahead."

"Well I kept on worrying about that period just before you got married. I have the impression something went seriously wrong. Can you tell me about that?"

_He took two new glasses, gave me one and took me outside to a more quiet spot._

He sighed.

"Listen son, what I'm going to tell you is highly confidential and must be kept between us. You have to promise that on your word as an officer. Is that clear Lieutenant?"

"Yes sir. I will."

"One day it went terribly wrong. We had to evacuate Australian civilians from an island and I sent out several teams, but one team did not return. That was mum's team. The next day we found bodies that were heavily burned and we had all reasons to believe they were killed and burned because their weapons and dog tags were there."

_I got the feeling my stomach was shrinking._

"It was like my world collapsed. I didn't know what to do. For about six months I stumbled around like a zombie. Your commander, Susan Dufour, was my XO at that time and she pulled me through."

_All of a sudden I knew it was a move of my father to put me under her command._

"Until that day we visited New-Caledonia. There I found her back in a French hospital. You could never believe how happy I was. But, she was completely at the end. The doctor there told me she was doing well. My ass. I knew what I saw. But then he told me how they found her and that was a tad worse. He told me about her injuries and addiction. "

"Addiction?", I spat out.

"Yes son, addiction. Heroin and alcohol. And not to talk about the injuries to her lower abdomen. I don't have to make a drawing, do I?"

_It was like all the blood was flowing away from my head._

_This could not be true. Not with us, not with mum._

"Honestly I don't know what happened. I can only imagine. She never, never talked about it. It looked like she locked up that part of the history for ever."

_Sorry son, I'm not going to tell you everything. I don't want to hurt you with these horrible facts._

"I took her home and we started to build everything up again step by step. She was even afraid of being touched. Once home I wanted to marry her as soon as possible because I didn't want to loose her again. Since then she never sailed again. It had been too much. With all what happened you could image how happy we were when you was born.

So Peter, now you know as much as I do. Handle it with care!

You're ok? You're as white as your uniform."

"Uh, yeah, I'm fine."

_He gave me a big smile, because I was unaware that I was using the same way of answering as mum._

"Did, … did they ever got arrested?" I asked him.

"No, son. Never. They are still free, somewhere on one of these islands." He looked over the sea like he desired to see them.

"Crap!"

_All of a sudden I remembered the newspaper cutting the photo book._

"Dad, that newspaper cutting in the photo book about the missing officer at Espirito Santo, was that mum?"

"Yeah son, that was about her", he said while he looked straight at Peter.

_I felt his stare, it was just like he experienced all these emotions of that drama again. I felt really ill-at-ease._

_The only thing I could say was_ : "Yeah, indeed."

Meanwhile my commander has reached us and wanted to congratulate my father for his promotion.

"Son, I have to go. See you."

"Yeah, thanks dad." I nodded to him and greeted my commander and her husband and walked away.

_I stayed there for a while, thinking over what he told me. Now, I understood the 10 year difference look, the fruit juice, the silence and the reason she never sailed again._

_On one hand I was happy to know, but on the other I was now carrying a dire truth._

_I spotted mum among the guests. She was still talking with Nikki and Jessica._

_Poor girl. Damn! Why? _

_You must be a very tough woman to fight yourself back up from where they pushed you._

_No, whatever would happen I'm never going to let you down! _

_For sure._

END


	28. KIA : End note

Dear Audience,

Thank you for reading the story for your reviews and for the advice some of you gave me.

As reply on the latest reviews.

- Peter's nickname is the Eaglet.

- About this "a lot of the original text has been lost in the translation". I wrote it straight in English, but my native language is Dutch. I agree, in Dutch I could have used more variations, but then the audience was a lot smaller.

I advice you to look forward to my next story : The Commodore.

"The Commodore is upset when assigning a officer known from the past on one of the ships..."

Bye.


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